Those who think about it say they want it. Some people claim to give it to us, & some do. Few understand what it really means. The truest & purest form of unconditional love is not just loving people for themselves, all parts of them. That's just part of the truest unconditional love. Even that part carries a lot of subtle wonders. Basically, it's loving all of someone as he/she is. It's when you know that person through & through & love the "bad" as well as the "good." Mostly it's not seeing "bad" or "good." You love that person as a whole. You find ways to accept the annoying. It makes you chuckle instead of wince most of the time. You listen to the annoying laugh & smile to yourself because it's a characteristic you've come to know in your loved one. You patiently listen through the convoluted story-telling because you're listening to the voice of your loved one sharing with you. And if you can't listen patiently this time because of something in your life, you set your boundary for that moment in love & gentleness. Because unconditional love is NOT accepting all part of a person every minute of every day. It's also "calling" someone on something he needs to be made aware of - in love. That's the true meaning of constructive criticism, a whole other important subject. Criticism is only constructive if you have no personal agenda with the person or at the time. It's calling a truth to the person's awareness for her own good in the most loving way possible.
My daughter gave me an interesting look at this aspect of unconditional love on the phone the other day. She lives in Maryland & I live in Pennsylvania so we don't see each other that many times a year. She last saw me at the beginning of April & I was asking her about how I appeared then. I had been noticing at the time that I'd really aged during the first part of 2011. I wanted to know if she'd noticed, & she hadn't. She said when she looks at me she just sees me, not how I look. With great appreciation I realized, big duh here - all she sees is the inner me, the REAL me. That's absolutely all she sees. That's really what unconditional love is - one aspect. Now, that doesn't mean you can't also see physical changes in the person. Some people do look at the outside also, notice details. Usually we do see at least some of the outer - we notice when someone isn't feeling well, looks tired, or especially good - we just often can't define the difference when we're really close to the person, really love unconditionally.
The purest form of unconditional love has no agenda, requires/needs nothing from the other person. This is the part that's so much more rare, is much harder to obtain & for people to understand. Last night, someone I love unconditionally was expressing concern she had about what I'd think of her, how I'd feel. Her spouse told me something about their relationship that she hadn't, out of respect for his privacy. First I assured her that boundaries are right to have - no form of love means you have to or even should share everything! There truly is TMI - either for the listener or yourself. It's right to keep some memories, experiences, feelings just to yourself, for yourself, close to your own heart!
What I told her is that not only are boundaries good, there's no way I'd feel any way at all about not being told by her. I have absolutely no needs or agenda where our relationship is concerned. She loves me the same way I love her & that's all I need from her. I have no expectations, no needs. She is enough because she is herself. Our relationship is enough, & more so. I don't "count" - in other words, I don't notice or count up imagined slights or wrongs. I don't count who calls whom or how often, who does more for whom - none of that even begins to occur to me. I don't want any "shoulds" in our relationship, because I have no needs. I have "wants" of course - I want to be in closer proximity so we can do things together, for one thing. I want frequent phone calls, visits, to give hugs. But I don't imagine those to be needs, don't put them off on her, don't put conditions on my love due to them. "Shoulds" are very ugly things. One of the best things I got out of Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings in 1990 was "don't 'should' on me" (if you aren't getting it, instead of "should" hear the word "sh--").
The only way you can be a giver of truly unconditional love that needs nothing in return is to love yourself unconditionally. That doesn't mean you have to accept every part of you as is, quit growing & changing. In fact, those who love themselves unconditionally are always growing & changing, becoming better versions of themselves. But to be in a space where you can love another without needing in return, you have to be whole within yourself. You accept yourself for who you are right here, right now. You understand who you are & how you got here, & don't "count." If you do something you regret, you learn from it, make amends if possible, & do better from then on. You don't even have to forgive yourself because you haven't condemned yourself over it in the first place. I snapped at my mother yesterday at the bank because I wasn't feeling well so my patience was down, & because of the subject matter still having a little power to bother me. I learned from it - that dealing with an adult who's mind is going is like dealing with an adult 2 year old. So I have to go back to how I handled my kids at that age & apply that love & patience here. When she's next really awake & lucid, I'll apologize, the simple apology you'd give to a 2 year old. I also took from it that I still have "triggers" on the bothersome subject & that I need to take care of my physical condition. What I didn't do was my old pattern of getting down on myself for the mistake. I used to beat myself up terribly for any time I delivered any real or imagined hurt to someone else. I'd imagine that it was my fault that people didn't call me, because of something I thought I'd done. I felt very unlovable, was very needy. I definitely needed things out of the people I was in relationships with. When you're needy, giving love is actually a grasping thing. When you're whole, giving love is truly that - the highest act of giving of yourself. It's enough all on its own - just giving the love. It fulfills itself. And when you love unconditionally, you live in a state of wonder & blessing because the more you give it the more things & beings you have that love for. It magnifies, then comes back to you magnified beyond belief!
Angel Baby Ornament sample 1
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Law of Abundance - repost from June
An aside: you CAN afford my services. Right now I charge nothing. I ask for donations based on your ability to pay & what you think my services are worth. Sometimes I simply work by exchange - a product or service for my products or services. See, I totally believe in the flow & law of abundance. If I share my talents & abilities without withholding based on money, my needs will eventually be supplied. That said, of course I prefer being directly paid as you all know the money abundance hasn't manifested yet. Now to today's message. This came to me this morning & is important. Today's blog is based on a concept I read almost 2 weeks ago & didn't entirely understand until I woke up with it this morning. That's part of the adventure my life now is - sometimes I awaken with insights, already in the flow.
Notice I said "law" not "flow" of abundance. That's because abundance is a law of nature & the universe. Abundant grass (look how often you have to mow), water (just look at oceans), trees, birds, I could make a huge list. If you don't have abundance in your life, it's only because something is blocking it. In some cases, it's because of where you live - man has removed much of the abundance in your area & replaced it with abundant asphalt & buildings. In most cases, we block our own sense of abundance or the flow. Sometimes we are blocking the sense by not appreciating what we have. Abundance is already manifested & we simply don't realize it. Exercises of gratitude clear that. All you have to do is get alone with God & start thanking Him for everything you can think of. Soon it takes over & you find more & more, can go on as long as you like. Your heart overflows & you realize all you have to be grateful for, & appreciate it all the more.
Sometimes we ourselves block the law/flow of abundance from working in our lives. Grasping for, holding onto, & worrying are the most common blockers. Grasping for is greed - taking more than we need at the expense of others. I think of one who always wanted to get rich quick, with the minimum of work & how he tried to exploit others. Somewhere between grasping for & holding onto is the buffet syndrom. Next time you're at a buffet, look around at the volume of food consumed because it's all one price. Then look at the food left on the plates to be thrown away.
Holding onto is failure to give to others out of our abundance. Hoarders are a dramatic example of that, & you can see the results on a TV show. I know about it firsthand because my mother is a hoarder & I now have the responsibility for clearing out all the excess. Folks, all I can say is those TV shows are no exaggeration & it's not that uncommon. I keep wishing I had the money spent on all the stuff I'm now clearing out for her. Remember, I had $25 just in old postage stamps the other day, posted about it. I'd already used a bunch before that! Now I'll give you 2 perfect examples of the opposite: 1) I'm not holding onto my talents or abilities based on ability to pay; 2) those who give away home grown yellow squash & zucchini. All vegetable gardeners will immediately "get" this. All of a sudden you have more than you can eat if you have a few plants. There's nothing wrong with blanching & freezing some for winter if you'll use it. But many give to those who have not & that's even better.
Worry also blocks abundance. You get what you put out. Your thoughts DO become things. If you're fixated on not having, which is what worry is, that's what you're putting out to the universe. It's self-fulfilling. Infertility is a good example. I hate that word, really want to create another, more positive word that leaves open the future possibility of fertility. Anyway, a perfect example of how worry does really block the flow is couples who have gotten pregnant after they entirely stopped trying, & adopted.
Another thing necessary for the flow of abundance is work. You can't sit on your hands & wait for things to come to you. Your hands would die from lack of circulation! Do all the work you can that comes to you. Take care of your obligations as they arise. When you are led to do something for someone, do it. Be a giver. It doesn't take money to be a giver. I'm giving you free advice & recipes in this blog regularly. If you take care of those sent to you, do the work given to you - be it your own housework & laundry, dishes, litter boxes - or a good paying job - the abundance will flow. Each week, do YOUR part, whatever that is. And be sure to include taking care of yourself - that's part of your job too, part of the flow. You aren't an unlimited quantity if you are stingy with your self & don't do the work on your self you need to - body, mind, & spirit.
Ok, I feel the need to tell you I'm a spiritualist & a Christian before I share this last bit. My life coaching is spiritually based - all my life is now. Being a Christian is personal. If you are not, I can still coach & help you. I sometimes channel Father God, for one. I sometimes channel Jesus, but I believe He probably doesn't send messages to those who don't believe in Him - that He leaves it up to others. That only makes sense. I am a psychic intuitive, teacher, guide, & a Reiki Master. I am a healer by nature & calling.
I was reading a message given to my spiritual community about creating & manifesting by envisioning the end scenario, holding the intention, & then moving backward in time, thought by thought. We were to remove any behaviors, thought forms, people, or situations that would block the perfect manifestation of our intention. I just couldn't picture doing that process until this morning. Then I realized - duh - that's nothing but the creative process put in different words. I've envisioned from my heart a painting called "Passion" - two people holding each other close in dance, her hot pink skirts flowing around them. I had to envision the finished painting in my mind before I could start because of my intent & how important the outcome is to me. I am painting my passion for that someone I mentioned in the post about falling in love with the universe, so my intent is very specific. First I had to decide on the size of canvas & whether I wanted to frame it. I had to picture where the figures would be, what else would be in the painting, what colors & where. I had to work backwards from the finished painting all the way down to the color wash I'd use to prepare the canvas. Another example of the creative process that reflects how to manifest this way is creating a knitting or crocheting pattern. My daughter, a friend, & I have all created our own baby blanket patterns - knitted & crocheted. We each first pictured the finished blanket - size, colors, texture, warmth, etc. Then we worked backwards - the stitch & type of yarn for the desired texture & warmth, how many stitches for the size, what size needles or hooks, etc. Each of us created a pattern that didn't exist in our world until we did the creative work, & a unique finished product from our intent. Then that pattern can be used to create over & over again. And that's an example of the flow of abundance. We could also create some financial abundance by selling our patterns or baby blankets. There are endless possibilities for abundance supply if we're just open.
Notice I said "law" not "flow" of abundance. That's because abundance is a law of nature & the universe. Abundant grass (look how often you have to mow), water (just look at oceans), trees, birds, I could make a huge list. If you don't have abundance in your life, it's only because something is blocking it. In some cases, it's because of where you live - man has removed much of the abundance in your area & replaced it with abundant asphalt & buildings. In most cases, we block our own sense of abundance or the flow. Sometimes we are blocking the sense by not appreciating what we have. Abundance is already manifested & we simply don't realize it. Exercises of gratitude clear that. All you have to do is get alone with God & start thanking Him for everything you can think of. Soon it takes over & you find more & more, can go on as long as you like. Your heart overflows & you realize all you have to be grateful for, & appreciate it all the more.
Sometimes we ourselves block the law/flow of abundance from working in our lives. Grasping for, holding onto, & worrying are the most common blockers. Grasping for is greed - taking more than we need at the expense of others. I think of one who always wanted to get rich quick, with the minimum of work & how he tried to exploit others. Somewhere between grasping for & holding onto is the buffet syndrom. Next time you're at a buffet, look around at the volume of food consumed because it's all one price. Then look at the food left on the plates to be thrown away.
Holding onto is failure to give to others out of our abundance. Hoarders are a dramatic example of that, & you can see the results on a TV show. I know about it firsthand because my mother is a hoarder & I now have the responsibility for clearing out all the excess. Folks, all I can say is those TV shows are no exaggeration & it's not that uncommon. I keep wishing I had the money spent on all the stuff I'm now clearing out for her. Remember, I had $25 just in old postage stamps the other day, posted about it. I'd already used a bunch before that! Now I'll give you 2 perfect examples of the opposite: 1) I'm not holding onto my talents or abilities based on ability to pay; 2) those who give away home grown yellow squash & zucchini. All vegetable gardeners will immediately "get" this. All of a sudden you have more than you can eat if you have a few plants. There's nothing wrong with blanching & freezing some for winter if you'll use it. But many give to those who have not & that's even better.
Worry also blocks abundance. You get what you put out. Your thoughts DO become things. If you're fixated on not having, which is what worry is, that's what you're putting out to the universe. It's self-fulfilling. Infertility is a good example. I hate that word, really want to create another, more positive word that leaves open the future possibility of fertility. Anyway, a perfect example of how worry does really block the flow is couples who have gotten pregnant after they entirely stopped trying, & adopted.
Another thing necessary for the flow of abundance is work. You can't sit on your hands & wait for things to come to you. Your hands would die from lack of circulation! Do all the work you can that comes to you. Take care of your obligations as they arise. When you are led to do something for someone, do it. Be a giver. It doesn't take money to be a giver. I'm giving you free advice & recipes in this blog regularly. If you take care of those sent to you, do the work given to you - be it your own housework & laundry, dishes, litter boxes - or a good paying job - the abundance will flow. Each week, do YOUR part, whatever that is. And be sure to include taking care of yourself - that's part of your job too, part of the flow. You aren't an unlimited quantity if you are stingy with your self & don't do the work on your self you need to - body, mind, & spirit.
Ok, I feel the need to tell you I'm a spiritualist & a Christian before I share this last bit. My life coaching is spiritually based - all my life is now. Being a Christian is personal. If you are not, I can still coach & help you. I sometimes channel Father God, for one. I sometimes channel Jesus, but I believe He probably doesn't send messages to those who don't believe in Him - that He leaves it up to others. That only makes sense. I am a psychic intuitive, teacher, guide, & a Reiki Master. I am a healer by nature & calling.
I was reading a message given to my spiritual community about creating & manifesting by envisioning the end scenario, holding the intention, & then moving backward in time, thought by thought. We were to remove any behaviors, thought forms, people, or situations that would block the perfect manifestation of our intention. I just couldn't picture doing that process until this morning. Then I realized - duh - that's nothing but the creative process put in different words. I've envisioned from my heart a painting called "Passion" - two people holding each other close in dance, her hot pink skirts flowing around them. I had to envision the finished painting in my mind before I could start because of my intent & how important the outcome is to me. I am painting my passion for that someone I mentioned in the post about falling in love with the universe, so my intent is very specific. First I had to decide on the size of canvas & whether I wanted to frame it. I had to picture where the figures would be, what else would be in the painting, what colors & where. I had to work backwards from the finished painting all the way down to the color wash I'd use to prepare the canvas. Another example of the creative process that reflects how to manifest this way is creating a knitting or crocheting pattern. My daughter, a friend, & I have all created our own baby blanket patterns - knitted & crocheted. We each first pictured the finished blanket - size, colors, texture, warmth, etc. Then we worked backwards - the stitch & type of yarn for the desired texture & warmth, how many stitches for the size, what size needles or hooks, etc. Each of us created a pattern that didn't exist in our world until we did the creative work, & a unique finished product from our intent. Then that pattern can be used to create over & over again. And that's an example of the flow of abundance. We could also create some financial abundance by selling our patterns or baby blankets. There are endless possibilities for abundance supply if we're just open.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Intent Used to Get What You Need - repost from July
I've mentioned tut.com before. I totally recommend that you subscribe to the free messages sent to your email 5 days a week. At first I discounted them as not really coming from "the universe," as coming from a person I watched in a video. Then, when I really got into the flow & did a lot of healing, most days they reinforced exactly what was going on with me. The following message goes with the blogs I've been posting this week.
"To some, on other planets, Jenny Lea, you get more done in a single day than they do in an entire year. On this planet, however, getting things done has been confused with worthiness. I guess that pretty much answers the intelligent life question. You're still out of this world, The Universe. Jenny Lea, there will always be more you could do, but I, for one, would have more fun watching and helping if you realized fully how much you already do, and knew how worthy you already are."
These messages are sent out by Mike Dooley, who has written & recorded a lot of great things about how our thoughts become things. He was one of my first experiences of things taking on new meaning. I thought I knew & heard it all, then I heard him & he told HOW to direct our thoughts rather than just let them happen & then worry about it. It was practical & easy to understand & follow, unlike all the "just do it" kinds of things I'd heard before that put a performance burden on me. This came from his video (also available in CD), "Thoughts Become Things." I totally recommend it to everyone even if you think you know it all & do it. If your life or health has ANY issue left, I recommend it. If you're already perfect, don't bother.
The biggest struggle I had recently with manifesting was that I'd just been taught that if you tell God, Universe (pick your language) that you need something, you're coming from a position of lack no matter how positively you state it. The answer was - it's already there, just waiting for you! All of God's blessings & goodness are just waiting for us! And it's not a matter of asking after all, no matter how positively you do that. It's a matter of realizing it's already there, RECOGNIZING IT & ACCEPTING IT. Once I started thanking God for the blessings rather than asking, my fears & doubts vanished & I began seeing them on their way. But first I had to realize that I'm worthy & deserve them. Worthy & deserving are 2 different things that are related, & you have to know both. I've only covered "worthy" before. You also absolutely need to understand that YOU DESERVE ALL GOD'S BLESSINGS just because He wants to give them to you!!! Who am I to question what He wants to do! And I know He wants to give me all these blessings! That goes to belief, trust, & finally understanding the goodness that is me - fully loving & forgiving myself. You also have to understand the goodness that is God. He's not vengeful or judgmental. He gave us free will on purpose - it truly is free will, rather than the ability to mess up so He can condemn us!
I realized He's provided tremendous physical & emotional healing, & all the other things I was asking for. He was already beginning to provide them - balance, wellbeing, wholeness, financial freedom & the flow of abundance, to the extent that I was ready to receive. My part is to do my work & stay open, to be grateful for & recognize what's being given to me. Now, when I say work I don't mean I earn the blessings! Doing my work will keep me in the flow of Spirit & help provide the financial freedom. My work is many-fold - my spiritual learning & development, my service to Him & others, taking care of my body, obligations & environment. If I quit doing any of these things (vs. taking occasional breaks as needed) then I'm going to lose out because I'll miss opportunities, fall back into old ways, begin to be emotionally or physically unhealthy, feel guilt, etc. Because that's the way things work - people, the universe, nature, bodies, etc. These things don't happen because God does them - they're laws of nature that we all know. The gratitude helps me recognize the blessings. It leaves me open to opportunities for business, wealth, growth, healing. It exercises my perception muscles & opens me to receive more. As in all else, gratitude isn't for God's sake, because He needs it - it's because we need it. Gratitude is love that recognizes what's being given, no matter who the giver is, so it's recognition in God's language of Love.
"To some, on other planets, Jenny Lea, you get more done in a single day than they do in an entire year. On this planet, however, getting things done has been confused with worthiness. I guess that pretty much answers the intelligent life question. You're still out of this world, The Universe. Jenny Lea, there will always be more you could do, but I, for one, would have more fun watching and helping if you realized fully how much you already do, and knew how worthy you already are."
These messages are sent out by Mike Dooley, who has written & recorded a lot of great things about how our thoughts become things. He was one of my first experiences of things taking on new meaning. I thought I knew & heard it all, then I heard him & he told HOW to direct our thoughts rather than just let them happen & then worry about it. It was practical & easy to understand & follow, unlike all the "just do it" kinds of things I'd heard before that put a performance burden on me. This came from his video (also available in CD), "Thoughts Become Things." I totally recommend it to everyone even if you think you know it all & do it. If your life or health has ANY issue left, I recommend it. If you're already perfect, don't bother.
The biggest struggle I had recently with manifesting was that I'd just been taught that if you tell God, Universe (pick your language) that you need something, you're coming from a position of lack no matter how positively you state it. The answer was - it's already there, just waiting for you! All of God's blessings & goodness are just waiting for us! And it's not a matter of asking after all, no matter how positively you do that. It's a matter of realizing it's already there, RECOGNIZING IT & ACCEPTING IT. Once I started thanking God for the blessings rather than asking, my fears & doubts vanished & I began seeing them on their way. But first I had to realize that I'm worthy & deserve them. Worthy & deserving are 2 different things that are related, & you have to know both. I've only covered "worthy" before. You also absolutely need to understand that YOU DESERVE ALL GOD'S BLESSINGS just because He wants to give them to you!!! Who am I to question what He wants to do! And I know He wants to give me all these blessings! That goes to belief, trust, & finally understanding the goodness that is me - fully loving & forgiving myself. You also have to understand the goodness that is God. He's not vengeful or judgmental. He gave us free will on purpose - it truly is free will, rather than the ability to mess up so He can condemn us!
I realized He's provided tremendous physical & emotional healing, & all the other things I was asking for. He was already beginning to provide them - balance, wellbeing, wholeness, financial freedom & the flow of abundance, to the extent that I was ready to receive. My part is to do my work & stay open, to be grateful for & recognize what's being given to me. Now, when I say work I don't mean I earn the blessings! Doing my work will keep me in the flow of Spirit & help provide the financial freedom. My work is many-fold - my spiritual learning & development, my service to Him & others, taking care of my body, obligations & environment. If I quit doing any of these things (vs. taking occasional breaks as needed) then I'm going to lose out because I'll miss opportunities, fall back into old ways, begin to be emotionally or physically unhealthy, feel guilt, etc. Because that's the way things work - people, the universe, nature, bodies, etc. These things don't happen because God does them - they're laws of nature that we all know. The gratitude helps me recognize the blessings. It leaves me open to opportunities for business, wealth, growth, healing. It exercises my perception muscles & opens me to receive more. As in all else, gratitude isn't for God's sake, because He needs it - it's because we need it. Gratitude is love that recognizes what's being given, no matter who the giver is, so it's recognition in God's language of Love.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Worthiness - repost
My message, blessing, & healing today was the final knowledge that I'm of worth just because I am. Deep inside me all my life was the feeling that my only worth was equal to my service to others. The world is really good at reinforcing this! We get messages all the time through many sources. We're told to give to others, do for others. We're told to work for what we want, then reward ourselves. When we do those things, wonderful things happen to us, which further reinforces the messages. When I was younger I was a giver out of fear of the Old Testament God. Eventually I simply became a giver from the heart. If you read the blog about heart vs. head you'll get the context. Still, deep inside I had that persistent belief.
I tried to give this healing a paragraph in the heart/head blog & twice it disappeared. I didn't know why. Those who know me & the computer will understand that it got to the point that I couldn't keep trying, reading through the blog, etc. I believe it's complete & in good form as is now. I kept at the message because although it was difficult to articulate, I knew it was important (the whole heart/head thing). I understood there was a reason I wasn't to share the full healing there & now I know why. Worthiness is such an important subject in itself, deserving it's own, stand-alone full blog.
"Ask & it shall be given unto you." I started asking on Tuesday, twice, & once so far today. Thanks to Pam, I'm asking for the abundance, balance, & healing (emotional & physical) I need. I'm also asking for a continuing home for the cats & me together, a livelihood from my talents, & the financial freedom to do the work I'm being called to do & the things on my heart. You have to ask for all you want, but you can't be too specific. Don't box God in with specifics because what He has for you is far greater than you can imagine.
God sets the stage for all of us in advance & it's all waiting for us to just ask with intent. So I was led to sign up for Mary A. Hall's 22 days of abundance healing program. It includes 10 live conference calls & today was one. At first my head was blocking the Love pouring down on us, saying all sorts of silly things including how this would look to others not following a spiritual path! I started praying earnestly for my heart to open to receive & was given a beautiful vision. Plus, Mary started uttering all the very words I needed to hear! She talked about wellbeing, which is purposefully part of my company name. She also said that those of us who feel we have to earn blessings & love are blocking it! She said we'll never get it that way, it will always be limited. She said we ARE the Love & the Love is us & in us. She said it's there for each of us just because we are. And she called for the healing to continue through the day.
Right after that I processed the message that I'd been in my head instead of my heart, recorded the vision & what Mary had said, then wrote my blog. While writing my blog, I stopped to think about how deep rooted & long standing my belief about myself was, the one about my worth. I finally realized that it started with my mother when I was very little. Most people don't have the dramatic dysfunction that I lived, but many givers also feel it's their only worth. You need to find out why so you can cast it off. "The truth shall set you free." It's so true! Now I know where it came from, I realize how invalid it is. However, in me the message was so deep-rooted that even though I knew how I'd been treated as I child, I didn't link that unworthy feeling to the treatment. So you may have it in your head but find it's so deep rooted as a false truth that it persists. That's why I'm telling you this.
What I finally know now is this. I am of great worth because I am me. God created me to be highly intelligent & functional, creative, talented, funny, caring, loving, a great teacher, etc. He created me with a skill set for a purpose. He does that with each of us. Those happen to be some of mine. To those whom He gives much, He asks much, but He equips each of us. If I were to be a builder, He would have perhaps given me carpentry or electrician skills. He creates us & equips us for the jobs He has for us, then gives us free will. I have chosen to give my self & my gifts in service to others. That doesn't change with this healing, but now more than ever, it will be my choice rather than an obligation felt somewhere within. It will be entirely from Joy & Love, rather than any residual fear. My worth is not that I give but that I am. I've chosen to give. So too, you each have worth!
Now I'll share the beautiful vision. At first Mary was sharing with us an enveloping blanket of Love, which I couldn't feel. That's when I prayed. She then talked of us falling into it. A moment later I saw the biggest, deepest pile of beautiful, long, white feathers that was going to cradle & envelop me when I fell into it. Then I knew they were the feathers of the angels. God told them to shed feathers for me, & every feather was an angel's tear. All the angels in the universe were shedding some feathers, their tears for the pain I've carried. And then I finally felt how loved I truly am.
I tried to give this healing a paragraph in the heart/head blog & twice it disappeared. I didn't know why. Those who know me & the computer will understand that it got to the point that I couldn't keep trying, reading through the blog, etc. I believe it's complete & in good form as is now. I kept at the message because although it was difficult to articulate, I knew it was important (the whole heart/head thing). I understood there was a reason I wasn't to share the full healing there & now I know why. Worthiness is such an important subject in itself, deserving it's own, stand-alone full blog.
"Ask & it shall be given unto you." I started asking on Tuesday, twice, & once so far today. Thanks to Pam, I'm asking for the abundance, balance, & healing (emotional & physical) I need. I'm also asking for a continuing home for the cats & me together, a livelihood from my talents, & the financial freedom to do the work I'm being called to do & the things on my heart. You have to ask for all you want, but you can't be too specific. Don't box God in with specifics because what He has for you is far greater than you can imagine.
God sets the stage for all of us in advance & it's all waiting for us to just ask with intent. So I was led to sign up for Mary A. Hall's 22 days of abundance healing program. It includes 10 live conference calls & today was one. At first my head was blocking the Love pouring down on us, saying all sorts of silly things including how this would look to others not following a spiritual path! I started praying earnestly for my heart to open to receive & was given a beautiful vision. Plus, Mary started uttering all the very words I needed to hear! She talked about wellbeing, which is purposefully part of my company name. She also said that those of us who feel we have to earn blessings & love are blocking it! She said we'll never get it that way, it will always be limited. She said we ARE the Love & the Love is us & in us. She said it's there for each of us just because we are. And she called for the healing to continue through the day.
Right after that I processed the message that I'd been in my head instead of my heart, recorded the vision & what Mary had said, then wrote my blog. While writing my blog, I stopped to think about how deep rooted & long standing my belief about myself was, the one about my worth. I finally realized that it started with my mother when I was very little. Most people don't have the dramatic dysfunction that I lived, but many givers also feel it's their only worth. You need to find out why so you can cast it off. "The truth shall set you free." It's so true! Now I know where it came from, I realize how invalid it is. However, in me the message was so deep-rooted that even though I knew how I'd been treated as I child, I didn't link that unworthy feeling to the treatment. So you may have it in your head but find it's so deep rooted as a false truth that it persists. That's why I'm telling you this.
What I finally know now is this. I am of great worth because I am me. God created me to be highly intelligent & functional, creative, talented, funny, caring, loving, a great teacher, etc. He created me with a skill set for a purpose. He does that with each of us. Those happen to be some of mine. To those whom He gives much, He asks much, but He equips each of us. If I were to be a builder, He would have perhaps given me carpentry or electrician skills. He creates us & equips us for the jobs He has for us, then gives us free will. I have chosen to give my self & my gifts in service to others. That doesn't change with this healing, but now more than ever, it will be my choice rather than an obligation felt somewhere within. It will be entirely from Joy & Love, rather than any residual fear. My worth is not that I give but that I am. I've chosen to give. So too, you each have worth!
Now I'll share the beautiful vision. At first Mary was sharing with us an enveloping blanket of Love, which I couldn't feel. That's when I prayed. She then talked of us falling into it. A moment later I saw the biggest, deepest pile of beautiful, long, white feathers that was going to cradle & envelop me when I fell into it. Then I knew they were the feathers of the angels. God told them to shed feathers for me, & every feather was an angel's tear. All the angels in the universe were shedding some feathers, their tears for the pain I've carried. And then I finally felt how loved I truly am.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Heart vs. Head - repost
Boy have I been off track for about 2 weeks! I had an incredible high at the beginning of the month, then regressed so much! I realized today that I'd been turning off my heart & listening to my head. At the beginning of the month, I was entirely in my heart.
I wasn't entirely turning off my heart, fortunately. I couldn't have brought you the blogs I have this month if I was, for one thing. But each day my head took over more & more & I had low energy. I wasn't able to reach out to help those I'd pledged to help & that made it worse. It got so bad that on Monday I had to ask my friend to tell me that I'm worthy of being alive & lovable, not an oxygen thief! She'd just gotten done telling me, spontaneously, all I've done for her & how grateful she is. I'm aware of that, & profoundly grateful to have been able to do that for her. I'm profoundly grateful to have made such an impact on her life & the lives of others through her. All I did was love her, listen, support her, encourage her, & all the while, she was doing the same for me. She is in a similar state of being now, & we did it for each other. In some ways I got there quicker because I became attuned to Reiki way before she did. I became one with a local Reiki community & gained a whole support system early on. Then I shared with her & she followed my path & created her own. Now we stand beside each other on the path.
I was so far gone on Monday that even that wasn't enough. I gave her the hardest question - tell me so that I know it inside, how & why I am lovable & worthy just because I am me, not for what I do for others. After a pause (& I did my old "fill the space," "try to let her off the hook for that one"), she described her love for me, & it's that unconditional love I was talking about. She loves my laugh, just hearing my voice, hearing my stories about the lightning bugs & the cats, loves to see my Facebook photos in which I'm smiling, loves to hear my smile & make me smile. Then I realized that I am worthy, to be so loved. Folks, one thing you need to understand. I've never set eyes on this woman! I "met" her through Facebook games last year when I was using them to relax & escape what I was living. Just less than a year ago we began chatting on Facebook personally. Her kindness & spirit came through in those little communications you can develop when gifting through the games, & she seemed to be hurting & I reached out to her. Eventually she accepted that & told me what was wrong, & it struck a chord - she was getting separated toward a divorce. He was a lot like my ex so we quickly found common ground. By the time she accepted my overtures, I was in real need too & we helped each other. God can use all kinds of ways to bring into our lives the people we need when we need them. One lesson here is that when you extend simple kindness & give of yourself to others, you usually end up benefiting at least as much as they do!!!
But back to heart vs. head. I've been hearing about "being in your heart, not your head" in the spiritual community & not quite getting the concept. I've also been hearing about integrating your heart & head, making them one. What does it all mean & how do you know which you're listening to? When my head was in control I was low energy, unable to reach out to help others much, wasn't really growing much spiritually. I felt vaguely sick & tired a lot. I was full of fear, felt burdened & like the tasks before me are impossible. But me being me, I didn't recognize that at all. I've talked about this before - I often don't feel my emotions if they're not of the most positive. I usually have no trouble feeling love, joy, happiness, etc. Those are the ones I nurture, bring to the forefront. But I also tend to be "Miss Mary Sunshine" & focus on optimism & suppress what doesn't fit. I suppress anger, fear, etc. Folks, that's not healthy! You have to acknowledge those feelings, find the cause, then resolve them. Suppression doesn't solve anything. Wallowing isn't good, but you do have to acknowledge them, maybe even vent them, give them their due & attention, then resolve them so you can be healed. Otherwise they create internal disease - which is dis-ease, plus they arise over & over again. They haunt you.
When your heart is in control you feel love, joy, peace, contentment, fulfillment, & gratitude, & you experience creativity. Many think creativity comes from the mind but it's the mind working from the heart. So if you understand anything about the creative process, you can use that to understand how the heart & head/mind can be made to work as one. When the heart is in control you experience all these things no matter what your life circumstances are at the moment. You understand that whatever is happening in your life right now is what needs to happen & that your greater good will come from it. ALL of it!
Setting your intent does truly work to manifest. After talking with Pam, that feeling of my only worth being my service became prominent. Also, I started asking for myself too. My choice of how to set my intent is prayer twice a day. It's how I start my day & end it. That finally led, today while writing this, to uncovering the cause of the feeling, which has enabled profound healing of which I'm very grateful. If your intent is to put your heart in control & experience all the fruits & blessings, you are then able to enrich your own life & the lives of others. All you have to do is set the intent. Once you recognize the differences between being in your heart & head, you become more aware of the war between them most of us suffer at some point. The more you put your heart in control through intent & awareness, the more your heart will seek what you need. Eventually, as you work through this, your head becomes a function of your heart. The war is over & you are truly more at peace within yourself.
I wasn't entirely turning off my heart, fortunately. I couldn't have brought you the blogs I have this month if I was, for one thing. But each day my head took over more & more & I had low energy. I wasn't able to reach out to help those I'd pledged to help & that made it worse. It got so bad that on Monday I had to ask my friend to tell me that I'm worthy of being alive & lovable, not an oxygen thief! She'd just gotten done telling me, spontaneously, all I've done for her & how grateful she is. I'm aware of that, & profoundly grateful to have been able to do that for her. I'm profoundly grateful to have made such an impact on her life & the lives of others through her. All I did was love her, listen, support her, encourage her, & all the while, she was doing the same for me. She is in a similar state of being now, & we did it for each other. In some ways I got there quicker because I became attuned to Reiki way before she did. I became one with a local Reiki community & gained a whole support system early on. Then I shared with her & she followed my path & created her own. Now we stand beside each other on the path.
I was so far gone on Monday that even that wasn't enough. I gave her the hardest question - tell me so that I know it inside, how & why I am lovable & worthy just because I am me, not for what I do for others. After a pause (& I did my old "fill the space," "try to let her off the hook for that one"), she described her love for me, & it's that unconditional love I was talking about. She loves my laugh, just hearing my voice, hearing my stories about the lightning bugs & the cats, loves to see my Facebook photos in which I'm smiling, loves to hear my smile & make me smile. Then I realized that I am worthy, to be so loved. Folks, one thing you need to understand. I've never set eyes on this woman! I "met" her through Facebook games last year when I was using them to relax & escape what I was living. Just less than a year ago we began chatting on Facebook personally. Her kindness & spirit came through in those little communications you can develop when gifting through the games, & she seemed to be hurting & I reached out to her. Eventually she accepted that & told me what was wrong, & it struck a chord - she was getting separated toward a divorce. He was a lot like my ex so we quickly found common ground. By the time she accepted my overtures, I was in real need too & we helped each other. God can use all kinds of ways to bring into our lives the people we need when we need them. One lesson here is that when you extend simple kindness & give of yourself to others, you usually end up benefiting at least as much as they do!!!
But back to heart vs. head. I've been hearing about "being in your heart, not your head" in the spiritual community & not quite getting the concept. I've also been hearing about integrating your heart & head, making them one. What does it all mean & how do you know which you're listening to? When my head was in control I was low energy, unable to reach out to help others much, wasn't really growing much spiritually. I felt vaguely sick & tired a lot. I was full of fear, felt burdened & like the tasks before me are impossible. But me being me, I didn't recognize that at all. I've talked about this before - I often don't feel my emotions if they're not of the most positive. I usually have no trouble feeling love, joy, happiness, etc. Those are the ones I nurture, bring to the forefront. But I also tend to be "Miss Mary Sunshine" & focus on optimism & suppress what doesn't fit. I suppress anger, fear, etc. Folks, that's not healthy! You have to acknowledge those feelings, find the cause, then resolve them. Suppression doesn't solve anything. Wallowing isn't good, but you do have to acknowledge them, maybe even vent them, give them their due & attention, then resolve them so you can be healed. Otherwise they create internal disease - which is dis-ease, plus they arise over & over again. They haunt you.
When your heart is in control you feel love, joy, peace, contentment, fulfillment, & gratitude, & you experience creativity. Many think creativity comes from the mind but it's the mind working from the heart. So if you understand anything about the creative process, you can use that to understand how the heart & head/mind can be made to work as one. When the heart is in control you experience all these things no matter what your life circumstances are at the moment. You understand that whatever is happening in your life right now is what needs to happen & that your greater good will come from it. ALL of it!
Setting your intent does truly work to manifest. After talking with Pam, that feeling of my only worth being my service became prominent. Also, I started asking for myself too. My choice of how to set my intent is prayer twice a day. It's how I start my day & end it. That finally led, today while writing this, to uncovering the cause of the feeling, which has enabled profound healing of which I'm very grateful. If your intent is to put your heart in control & experience all the fruits & blessings, you are then able to enrich your own life & the lives of others. All you have to do is set the intent. Once you recognize the differences between being in your heart & head, you become more aware of the war between them most of us suffer at some point. The more you put your heart in control through intent & awareness, the more your heart will seek what you need. Eventually, as you work through this, your head becomes a function of your heart. The war is over & you are truly more at peace within yourself.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Practical Ways to Stop Obsessing & Controlling - repost from early August - part 1 of 2 today
I started on this subject the other day because it's something that comes up for most of us a lot. I'm trying to sell a bunch of used furniture & things, & wish to buy a used desk. I have a great need to clean out my home & life, make my space my own that works for me. I'm encountering people who don't reply or follow through, & it's messing with my need. It's all being done over the internet, & people tend to be very casual in that medium. So I keep finding myself really wanting to take control, & it keeps occupying my thoughts & energy.
I know I'm not the only person who has a tendency to try to micromanage, & who obsesses when I can't. I can't tell you how many nights I've stayed awake fretting over things not going my way, trying to figure out how to control situations that involve others. I tend to be too easy-going during the day, not wanting to be aggressive so not being properly assertive. The result is that often others get away with all they can, & I would be left holding the bag, dissatisfied. I don't like to push people, be pushy, etc. It's all the same language, the same thing, but we think of it in different ways, terms. I'm not sure why I do this. I know I have trouble setting boundaries by nature. Part of it comes from the kind of person I am. I always rejoiced in "The meek shall inherit the earth" because I often came off as very meek. Another reason I've had trouble setting boundaries is a childhood full of abuse that I perpetuated into adulthood, where I was taught that I had no right to boundaries. Many of us conduct our lives as if we have no real rights. We blindly bow to authority figures like lawyers we're paying. We don't hold them accountable, don't pin them down, let them get away with some outrageous behaviors & attitudes. We let them talk down to us, make promises they don't follow through with, then have to live with the consequences. We do that with doctors, nurses, teachers - any authority figure. Unless you have a history with a certain authority profession, you tend to do that. Most people do, a few actually know how to be properly assertive with authority figures. But most of us simply don't. We're taught to be polite to them from early childhood. Parents & even spouses or significant others can then fall into the authority figure category in our mind & if we don't learn to be properly assertive we end up with a lot of discomfort in our lives. When you find yourself obsessing & feeling the need to control others, it's sometimes directed at those people or situations we need to be assertive with in our daily lives. But often it's redirected, & actually points to authority figures we need to learn to be assertive with. So when you find yourself obsessing, feeling the need to control others, it's a sign that you need to do some self work. Because all we can control is ourselves. It's time to think things through & determine whether the person or situation is causing this need in you, or whether it's redirected & to what or whom it actually needs to be directed.
I know I'm not the only person who has a tendency to try to micromanage, & who obsesses when I can't. I can't tell you how many nights I've stayed awake fretting over things not going my way, trying to figure out how to control situations that involve others. I tend to be too easy-going during the day, not wanting to be aggressive so not being properly assertive. The result is that often others get away with all they can, & I would be left holding the bag, dissatisfied. I don't like to push people, be pushy, etc. It's all the same language, the same thing, but we think of it in different ways, terms. I'm not sure why I do this. I know I have trouble setting boundaries by nature. Part of it comes from the kind of person I am. I always rejoiced in "The meek shall inherit the earth" because I often came off as very meek. Another reason I've had trouble setting boundaries is a childhood full of abuse that I perpetuated into adulthood, where I was taught that I had no right to boundaries. Many of us conduct our lives as if we have no real rights. We blindly bow to authority figures like lawyers we're paying. We don't hold them accountable, don't pin them down, let them get away with some outrageous behaviors & attitudes. We let them talk down to us, make promises they don't follow through with, then have to live with the consequences. We do that with doctors, nurses, teachers - any authority figure. Unless you have a history with a certain authority profession, you tend to do that. Most people do, a few actually know how to be properly assertive with authority figures. But most of us simply don't. We're taught to be polite to them from early childhood. Parents & even spouses or significant others can then fall into the authority figure category in our mind & if we don't learn to be properly assertive we end up with a lot of discomfort in our lives. When you find yourself obsessing & feeling the need to control others, it's sometimes directed at those people or situations we need to be assertive with in our daily lives. But often it's redirected, & actually points to authority figures we need to learn to be assertive with. So when you find yourself obsessing, feeling the need to control others, it's a sign that you need to do some self work. Because all we can control is ourselves. It's time to think things through & determine whether the person or situation is causing this need in you, or whether it's redirected & to what or whom it actually needs to be directed.
Practical Ways to Stop Obsessing & Controlling - repost from early August - part 2 of 2 today
Next step is what to do. Since we can't control what others say or do, we have to figure out how to take effective action ourselves. Once you identify what's causing you the discomfort leading to the need to control, you need to figure out exactly what you can do about it. Usually I start with mentally firing or jailing or killing off someone, that immediate end scene that feels so good. Obviously I don't believe that God judges us for our thoughts! Then I settle down to more practical solutions until I get to something workable that only involves what I will do, what I can control. Have I clearly set boundaries? Have I given a deadline? Have I actively taken all the authority I can in the situation? All the responsibility? Have I clearly defined the optimum goals? I could pose other possible questions for you but without your specific problem in my mind, this will suffice. One thing I will tell you - brainstorming with me or another effective, clear thinking friend or co-worker can often help. Often we find that we haven't made our position or needs entirely clear or expressed that these are needs, not wants. We haven't been firm. Face it - most of us don't like to confront & when we do, we end up not doing the follow through. We don't like to "bug" others so we don't check back on the action, make the other person accountable. Requiring accountability is a big step toward getting things done by others (& ourselves). In the past I've done things like give a 2 week deadline & then gone back a month later, very unhappy to find that nothing's been done. If I'd checked at the one week mark & asked to see what progress had been made, chances are greater that the things would have gotten done on time. It's best to let the person or team know you're going to do that when the deadline is given. Often we've been loathe to "hold someone's feet to the fire." You can do that with kind firmness - you don't have to be mean to do it.
Often we need to examine & adjust our expectations. As I just said, when I set deadlines for myself (& others), they have to be reasonable & take workload & needs into account. Just because we want something done or obtained by a certain date doesn't make it doable or reasonable. Sometimes it's a matter of adjusting our expectations, which we have total control over. Just make sure you're not doing that for the wrong reason, to avoid holding someone accountable or asserting your boundaries. One way or another, things will eventually come to a conclusion. I, as most people, always choose the path of least resistance. I take as much of it on myself as I can (which is not always a good thing, & I'm trying to learn better ways). I try to be as flexible as possible (which in the past led me to not setting boundaries, so again, I'm learning to adjust how I handle things). I identify what I can & can't control & work with both. For the things I can't control, I'm learning to ask for help, make compromises, & have faith. Nothing stays undone or unresolved forever. Something eventually happens one way or another. It's how we handle ourselves while waiting that counts. I'm choosing to ask & trust. Yesterday I wanted a dresser out of my bedroom & it hasn't sold. I couldn't move it myself because of the heavy TV on it. I asked the guys who delivered my new mattress & box springs to lift the TV & they ended up doing it all for me - even moved the dresser out to the living room rather than have me help. They took a few minutes & set the TV & stand up for me right where I wanted it. The dresser's now in the living room - less than ideal - but I've reclaimed my entire bedroom now, & am finally able to sleep well. I compromised for now, but I got my immediate needs met by asking nicely with faith. I got the clearing I needed in the most important room & the rest will come. As I give up my expectations of gain from the sale of the furniture & trust that needed money will come somehow, I'll achieve all the clearing I need in my home. So trusting in God, in overall goodness of people, & asking both for help, eventually brings results. In the meantime, we simply need to control our attitudes & responses & have faith that it will all come out as it should, in the end. That's true faith in action.
Often we need to examine & adjust our expectations. As I just said, when I set deadlines for myself (& others), they have to be reasonable & take workload & needs into account. Just because we want something done or obtained by a certain date doesn't make it doable or reasonable. Sometimes it's a matter of adjusting our expectations, which we have total control over. Just make sure you're not doing that for the wrong reason, to avoid holding someone accountable or asserting your boundaries. One way or another, things will eventually come to a conclusion. I, as most people, always choose the path of least resistance. I take as much of it on myself as I can (which is not always a good thing, & I'm trying to learn better ways). I try to be as flexible as possible (which in the past led me to not setting boundaries, so again, I'm learning to adjust how I handle things). I identify what I can & can't control & work with both. For the things I can't control, I'm learning to ask for help, make compromises, & have faith. Nothing stays undone or unresolved forever. Something eventually happens one way or another. It's how we handle ourselves while waiting that counts. I'm choosing to ask & trust. Yesterday I wanted a dresser out of my bedroom & it hasn't sold. I couldn't move it myself because of the heavy TV on it. I asked the guys who delivered my new mattress & box springs to lift the TV & they ended up doing it all for me - even moved the dresser out to the living room rather than have me help. They took a few minutes & set the TV & stand up for me right where I wanted it. The dresser's now in the living room - less than ideal - but I've reclaimed my entire bedroom now, & am finally able to sleep well. I compromised for now, but I got my immediate needs met by asking nicely with faith. I got the clearing I needed in the most important room & the rest will come. As I give up my expectations of gain from the sale of the furniture & trust that needed money will come somehow, I'll achieve all the clearing I need in my home. So trusting in God, in overall goodness of people, & asking both for help, eventually brings results. In the meantime, we simply need to control our attitudes & responses & have faith that it will all come out as it should, in the end. That's true faith in action.
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