Today I interrupt that series about a God-centered life & humble myself before you by revealing how God just disciplined me. My mother & father were alcoholics & I have the same tendencies. Years ago I conquered my problem with social drinking, no longer drink too much on those few occasions. But I still have the tendency to use alcohol as a crutch. I started using again April 2010, when I couldn't stand the pain of living with my ex & his crimes against us but saw no way out. Mostly I'd do it very occasionally, to shut off my mind & get to sleep. There was plenty around the house, no need to spend money on it. My mother quit drinking for health reasons long ago but had many stashes in boxes I was having to go through to clear things out (she was also a TV style hoarder). And when I use alcohol, I abuse it. I drink until I can barely walk, am assured to go to sleep & stay asleep.
Now, God gave me some very great nights of sleep awhile back & showed me what happens when I ask Him for it. During that time I had the urge & drank myself to sleep & the next morning He gently spoke to me about it when I was praying to Him for health. He told me that I was asking for health while doing something to ruin it, & to stop it & stop it now. No more. He also told me to get rid of the alcohol in the house to avoid temptation. I listened to part but not all, wasn't willing to waste or get rid of my crutch. So I've done it again a couple of times since. Each time I apologized the next day. At first I barely suffered a hangover, but each time it got a bit worse. Last night I drank more than the other times & this morning, really was suffering.
Here's how God disciplined me over it. He let me suffer the consequences of my action fully, first of all. I was so miserable this morning! So miserable, that I believe I've finally learned my lesson! First thing, I apologized. He said He understands how easy it is to slip into old ways & patterns & that of course He forgives me. Then a beautiful butterfly appeared out of nowhere & flew slowly near & past me. I knew that was part of His loving blessing, His message of Love. He gave me the understanding that He wasn't going to lessen any consequences for me this time - I'd feel bad - my stomach, my sinuses, a headache, shaky, mind the heat this time. I'm reminded of how good I can feel most days, how He's helped me not mind the heat this summer, by the contrast today. I told Him I finally get it, have determined for myself that not sleeping is better than this, that this is not the thing to do. From now on I'll ask Him for sleep when needed & take whatever I get. For whatever reason, sometimes He gives it & sometimes He doesn't. The last time He didn't was several days ago & I ended up getting up very early & having hours to myself to work out what I needed to discover about a need for healing in me. (After hours of exploring my reactions & feelings, I realized I've had a mild form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for years now. I also discovered that the roots go all the way back to my childhood, where I was never safe from the abuse from my mother. True home never existed for me because it wasn't a safe place. Then I married my second husband & signed on to 10 out of 10 years of more of the same.) Taking that time has led to a lot of healing. I didn't suffer during the day from lack of sleep, & that night I had the best sleep I'd had in weeks. So I'm not going to be willful from now on. If I'm not given a restful night or enough sleep, I'll just deal with it & see what comes of it, find a creative use for that time.
These days I'm hyper sensitive when I hear people talk about an angry, punishing, vengeful God. I just want to shout out what I know of Him. He is Perfect, Loving, All Knowing. He's in each of us, created each of us as beautiful souls but gave us free will. He never expects us to be perfect & doesn't punish us when we aren't. He set up the universe to be self-correcting & thus there's the law of consequences at work, which balances us, our actions, the universe. He doesn't send earthquakes, tornadoes, or diseases to punish nations any more than parents would cripple or kill their child for defiance. I used to think He put us in difficult situations or with difficult people to learn lessons, & now know better. When you find yourself there & He teaches you from it, that's grace. We encounter all kinds & He can help us learn & grow, but He didn't do it to us. Yes, it gets better once we learn, but because we react differently, not because He then takes it away. Remember the most loving, giving, caring, gentle person you've ever known. Now magnify those qualities times infinity & that's the way God is. Truly.
Angel Baby Ornament sample 1
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
A God-Centered Life is a Healthy & Joyous Life
Having a God-centered life has made me much healthier. I've already mentioned losing weight & making healthier food choices. Being God-centered also led me to Shaklee, & I'm healthier because of the products I use. I'm also way healthier because I no longer carry the guilt, shame, & emotional scars that used to haunt me. Those things truly affect our health, our ability to be happy & feel joy, our ability to progress & grow, to move forward. They can affect the balance of chemicals in our bodies & cause us to use harmful chemicals like prescription or elicit drugs, alcohol, or tobacco to numb the pain.
I can't begin to express my joy each time I receive emotional healing, how blessed I feel, how grateful I am. I used to walk around with a cloud of pain & shame over my head, waiting for the next shoe to drop (thinking they were God-sized & eventually one would inihilate me), waiting for the next blow life would deliver. Now I expect nothing but good things whatever I do & wherever I go, pretty much. I still have a little negative anticipation in me sometimes, since I'm human. But time & again that negativity is proven wrong because overall I have such positive expectations & we get back what we expect for the most part. Each time I have a positive experience, it reinforces these lessons & I come to expect it even more. I know I influence what happens all around me because I'm just so happy & positive that people react in kind. But I also experience the opposite when I've let the old way of thinking & being take over. I don't like the results & now I know how much better things can be so I take steps to get back there as fast as possible. I talk it over with God, review lessons, read the next spiritual thing that comes my way, do Reiki, ask a friend to help if needed. Usually presenting my feelings to God & reading the next spiritual thing or participating in the next event does it. That said, I don't just grab at any & every event or reading. I use discernment in my selection. But usually whatever I need to move forward is already sitting in my inbox - something I hadn't gotten around to reading yet, or appears the morning after I express my need. Which again, adds to my faith.
Happiness also affects our health in wonderful ways. Many years ago I learned to be a happy person for the most part, no matter how bad my life was. Don't get me wrong - I went through some really unhappy periods, like last year while coping with the crimes my ex committed. I won't go into that here because I've totally covered it in other blogs. But how about the other 9 years with Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde - no piece of cake. Few knew anything was wrong because I'm basically a very happy person. I taught myself years ago to glean happiness from all the good little (& bigger) things in my life & around me. I learned not to wait for the big things because they can be few & far between. It makes me happy to see a cat yawn, to see them play, to see roses, to smell them, to hear music I like or view a painting I like, to observe wild animals in the wild, to hear bird songs or wind chimes. And I learned to surround myself as much as possible with things that make me smile & feel good. Now I'm downright joyous about things that used to merely make me happy, & it all feels like so much more. Mourning doves always reminded me of my beloved Grandma Jones because I used to hear them seemingly all the time in her yard. Now, I believe they are her singing to me when I hear them, like she used to sing "Jesus Loves You" to me while working the treadle on her old Singer sewing machine. Usually she was making doll clothes for me. It doesn't matter whether I'm right or not or what you believe. In my heart, that bird is my grandmother, who I lost in 1985. She was my combination grandmother & mother, my role model, so I lost all that when I lost her. Usually you hear doves at dawn & dusk but I hear mine off & on all day. I also love the music their wings make when they take off in flight. Next time you see a pair, watch until they fly away & just listen. Every time I hear those doves I know my Grandma is telling me she loves me & is proud of me. I'm so much like her! I'm proud of me, of that. Before God-centering, I just thought of her. Now I feel her with me every day - just one of my sources of great joy.
Because my heart is so full these days & so open, many things appear to be much more beautiful to me - clouds, the color of the sky, maple trees, my tomatoes turning red on the vine, my growing herbs. I mind less the chores I have to do because once done, I get to move on to do what I want & I'm already in such a good mood. This isn't all the time - my life isn't magical, & I can have pain or periods of low energy. But overall, actually it is pretty magical these days because it's becoming exactly the life I've wanted & dreamed of. So no, a God-centered life is NOT restricting - it's so the opposite of that! It's ever expanding & widening joy, love, goodness, happiness, contentment, fulfillment, all I've ever wanted & needed. And this probably still isn't the end of the subject, but it is for now.
I can't begin to express my joy each time I receive emotional healing, how blessed I feel, how grateful I am. I used to walk around with a cloud of pain & shame over my head, waiting for the next shoe to drop (thinking they were God-sized & eventually one would inihilate me), waiting for the next blow life would deliver. Now I expect nothing but good things whatever I do & wherever I go, pretty much. I still have a little negative anticipation in me sometimes, since I'm human. But time & again that negativity is proven wrong because overall I have such positive expectations & we get back what we expect for the most part. Each time I have a positive experience, it reinforces these lessons & I come to expect it even more. I know I influence what happens all around me because I'm just so happy & positive that people react in kind. But I also experience the opposite when I've let the old way of thinking & being take over. I don't like the results & now I know how much better things can be so I take steps to get back there as fast as possible. I talk it over with God, review lessons, read the next spiritual thing that comes my way, do Reiki, ask a friend to help if needed. Usually presenting my feelings to God & reading the next spiritual thing or participating in the next event does it. That said, I don't just grab at any & every event or reading. I use discernment in my selection. But usually whatever I need to move forward is already sitting in my inbox - something I hadn't gotten around to reading yet, or appears the morning after I express my need. Which again, adds to my faith.
Happiness also affects our health in wonderful ways. Many years ago I learned to be a happy person for the most part, no matter how bad my life was. Don't get me wrong - I went through some really unhappy periods, like last year while coping with the crimes my ex committed. I won't go into that here because I've totally covered it in other blogs. But how about the other 9 years with Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde - no piece of cake. Few knew anything was wrong because I'm basically a very happy person. I taught myself years ago to glean happiness from all the good little (& bigger) things in my life & around me. I learned not to wait for the big things because they can be few & far between. It makes me happy to see a cat yawn, to see them play, to see roses, to smell them, to hear music I like or view a painting I like, to observe wild animals in the wild, to hear bird songs or wind chimes. And I learned to surround myself as much as possible with things that make me smile & feel good. Now I'm downright joyous about things that used to merely make me happy, & it all feels like so much more. Mourning doves always reminded me of my beloved Grandma Jones because I used to hear them seemingly all the time in her yard. Now, I believe they are her singing to me when I hear them, like she used to sing "Jesus Loves You" to me while working the treadle on her old Singer sewing machine. Usually she was making doll clothes for me. It doesn't matter whether I'm right or not or what you believe. In my heart, that bird is my grandmother, who I lost in 1985. She was my combination grandmother & mother, my role model, so I lost all that when I lost her. Usually you hear doves at dawn & dusk but I hear mine off & on all day. I also love the music their wings make when they take off in flight. Next time you see a pair, watch until they fly away & just listen. Every time I hear those doves I know my Grandma is telling me she loves me & is proud of me. I'm so much like her! I'm proud of me, of that. Before God-centering, I just thought of her. Now I feel her with me every day - just one of my sources of great joy.
Because my heart is so full these days & so open, many things appear to be much more beautiful to me - clouds, the color of the sky, maple trees, my tomatoes turning red on the vine, my growing herbs. I mind less the chores I have to do because once done, I get to move on to do what I want & I'm already in such a good mood. This isn't all the time - my life isn't magical, & I can have pain or periods of low energy. But overall, actually it is pretty magical these days because it's becoming exactly the life I've wanted & dreamed of. So no, a God-centered life is NOT restricting - it's so the opposite of that! It's ever expanding & widening joy, love, goodness, happiness, contentment, fulfillment, all I've ever wanted & needed. And this probably still isn't the end of the subject, but it is for now.
Monday, July 18, 2011
A God-Centered Life Is Setting Me Free
Rather than being restrictive, having a God-centered life has virtually set me free. It's unheard of not to have stress, shame, guilt, anxiety, & worry but I have very little of it left in my life, & it's glorious living this way! My outward circumstances haven't changed financially but I no longer worry. I've had ample opportunity to see how God works & I've developed trust.
I see evidence of His Goodness & provision all around me. He has a great sense of humor & is very creative in how He provides, so most people miss what He's doing. But that sense of rightness you get, when everything falls into place - that's God at work. When I moved here I found wild chamomile growing in the gravel driveway. How unique, but fitting, since it's something I grow every year. I left behind the peonies I planted, & there are 3 peony bushes here. I left behind a family of groundhogs that I dearly loved, but after the first year, they started appearing all around me here, including babies.
This year I found a use for the wild chamomile. I didn't harvest it before because I wouldn't ingest it - it grows where I drive & I'm not familiar with this type. But I want to finally replace the old buckwheat face pillows I'd bought in the past with one of my superior flax seed pillows & I want to fill it with chamomile & lavender, so I'm harvesting the driveway. I laugh every time I do it, & don't worry - I'll never use something harvested that way for you. But this preserves my stock of edible dried chamomile for herbal teas, which I love.
In March I was going on job interviews & realized I'd need to buy clothes if I got a job because I had very few decent things to wear. In May I started losing so much weight that I got a whole new wardrobe of old favorites - clothes I haven't fit into in a few years or longer. Most of them are much better than the newer clothes, suit me better, so I'm especially thrilled. He didn't provide me with money to spare for new clothes or chamomile plants - He provided for me to use what I already had. In much the same way, so many things in the world are new to me, have taken on new value or meaning.
He's also provided a wonderful summer for me thus far, & in my mind it's about half over now - June 1 through August 31 in my mind. I normally have a lot of trouble surviving the heat. I've suffered terribly since I was in my mid 20s, & when living without air conditioning, can barely sleep at night or function during the day. We moved here in April 2009, so this is my 3rd summer here without air conditioning. I don't even have window units because I don't have windows - I have sliding glass doors instead. This year has been especially cool where I am, plus I'm not minding even the hot days. Part of that is the weight I've lost but I wasn't this tolerant in the past at this weight. I don't know how He's done it, only that having Him at the center of my life & healing me in various ways is all that's truly different.
I also no longer worry about my health or safety. I know that God has work for me to do & that it requires me to be alive & healthy - that's my surety. Please understand that I don't test Him though, don't do a bunch of foolish things. I have a responsibility to take care of what God gave me & the biggest resource I have is myself. It's entirely up to me to honor the gift & take care of it/me. And that's just it - I now consider life to be a great gift, as is health & safety. (More to come.)
I see evidence of His Goodness & provision all around me. He has a great sense of humor & is very creative in how He provides, so most people miss what He's doing. But that sense of rightness you get, when everything falls into place - that's God at work. When I moved here I found wild chamomile growing in the gravel driveway. How unique, but fitting, since it's something I grow every year. I left behind the peonies I planted, & there are 3 peony bushes here. I left behind a family of groundhogs that I dearly loved, but after the first year, they started appearing all around me here, including babies.
This year I found a use for the wild chamomile. I didn't harvest it before because I wouldn't ingest it - it grows where I drive & I'm not familiar with this type. But I want to finally replace the old buckwheat face pillows I'd bought in the past with one of my superior flax seed pillows & I want to fill it with chamomile & lavender, so I'm harvesting the driveway. I laugh every time I do it, & don't worry - I'll never use something harvested that way for you. But this preserves my stock of edible dried chamomile for herbal teas, which I love.
In March I was going on job interviews & realized I'd need to buy clothes if I got a job because I had very few decent things to wear. In May I started losing so much weight that I got a whole new wardrobe of old favorites - clothes I haven't fit into in a few years or longer. Most of them are much better than the newer clothes, suit me better, so I'm especially thrilled. He didn't provide me with money to spare for new clothes or chamomile plants - He provided for me to use what I already had. In much the same way, so many things in the world are new to me, have taken on new value or meaning.
He's also provided a wonderful summer for me thus far, & in my mind it's about half over now - June 1 through August 31 in my mind. I normally have a lot of trouble surviving the heat. I've suffered terribly since I was in my mid 20s, & when living without air conditioning, can barely sleep at night or function during the day. We moved here in April 2009, so this is my 3rd summer here without air conditioning. I don't even have window units because I don't have windows - I have sliding glass doors instead. This year has been especially cool where I am, plus I'm not minding even the hot days. Part of that is the weight I've lost but I wasn't this tolerant in the past at this weight. I don't know how He's done it, only that having Him at the center of my life & healing me in various ways is all that's truly different.
I also no longer worry about my health or safety. I know that God has work for me to do & that it requires me to be alive & healthy - that's my surety. Please understand that I don't test Him though, don't do a bunch of foolish things. I have a responsibility to take care of what God gave me & the biggest resource I have is myself. It's entirely up to me to honor the gift & take care of it/me. And that's just it - I now consider life to be a great gift, as is health & safety. (More to come.)
Friday, July 15, 2011
Disclaimer
Today is Thursday, July 14 & I've spent most of the day writing blogs about a God-centered life. I posted the first today, plan to post the next ones on Monday & Tuesday. Having written them all today, I feel the need for a disclaimer. So I'm writing this now, to post tomorrow.
My life is now glorious & wonderful, but not because I am. I feel safe because I know I have God's work to do, now & ahead of me. I have a lot of God-given talents that I enjoy & that I'm getting to use now. But I'm far from unique, & I wouldn't be telling you about any of this if it was exclusive to me. I'm telling you because someone has to tell you what wonders can be yours!
The life I have is a matter of choices, attitude, where I put my attention & intention, & my actions. It's something virtually anyone can do who has a workable IQ, & at any age. I also know lots of people who have what I have.
We are all given a great variety of talents & gifts. It's up to you to realize them as such, appreciate them, be proud of them, make the most of them. I couldn't program a computer for any amount of money but I have certain kinds of problem solving capabilities. I'm in awe of those who can program computers, troubleshoot them, & especially of those who can do computer forensics. Wow! I'm pretty good at math but am truly in awe of those who have a real talent for it. I'm in awe of those who have a greater talent than me at anything I do, because I know what goes into it. I'm not good at any sports but love to watch a talented sports player in just about any sport. We're all given important talents. Mine happen to mostly be in creative pursuits, which end up being more showy & admired, more often recognized as talents. I don't believe I have a huge amount of talent in any one thing but I've been given a passion to go with some of my talents that has led me to develop them to a point. It was actually a burden growing up with a wide variety of talents & passions. I always felt like a "jack of all trades, master of none." And I did that horrible thing people do to themselves - measured myself against "greats" & found myself wanting to the point that I often gave up. I didn't value myself or any of my talents enough to work at them enough to make them pay off. I denigrated & relegated them. Now I'm not doing that. I'm elevating them to see which ones I need to be using now in what way. I'm trotting them out before God, who gave them to me, to see what I should do with them. And that's one of my sources of great joy, because it fuels those passions.
God has special work for each of us to do, if we choose to. He has given each of us a set of traits, abilities, & talents so that we will be drawn to & prepared for the work He has for each of us. I know I keep repeating "each of us" & that's not good writing but I'm doing it for a purpose. Because I truly mean EACH OF US. I'm not special or different - I've just said "yes" & keep saying yes on a daily basis. He calls each of us & each of us has a choice to make every time He calls. I tried & failed to answer "yes" many times over because I had mistaken thoughts about what saying yes would mean, was still too stuck in my own life & circumstances before. Most of all, I never felt worthy before. Even when I wanted to say yes I doubted myself & doubted the call because I didn't feel worthy, certainly didn't feel equipped for the task. Now I know that to doubt yourself in this is to doubt God. He wouldn't call you for something He hasn't equipped you for!
One of the biggest problems people face who want to serve God is hearing religion vs. God. First, let me again say that I love church & churches, & many church goers. There's a Methodist church in Maryland that's one of my favorite places in the world, full of some of my favorite people! But even there at various times I heard religion calling to those in the congregation to do things that weren't for me to do, & I didn't hear my true calling clearly. I didn't learn to talk with God or listen to Him in church, didn't develop a relationship with Him there. You have to develop your own one-on-one relationship with Him before you can know what He wants of you. Disengage your head & open your whole heart to Him. You can start with words but then be quiet & listen to your heart & soon you'll be able to feel Him. The more you do that, the faster you'll get here! And if you have questions, I'd be glad to help!
My life is now glorious & wonderful, but not because I am. I feel safe because I know I have God's work to do, now & ahead of me. I have a lot of God-given talents that I enjoy & that I'm getting to use now. But I'm far from unique, & I wouldn't be telling you about any of this if it was exclusive to me. I'm telling you because someone has to tell you what wonders can be yours!
The life I have is a matter of choices, attitude, where I put my attention & intention, & my actions. It's something virtually anyone can do who has a workable IQ, & at any age. I also know lots of people who have what I have.
We are all given a great variety of talents & gifts. It's up to you to realize them as such, appreciate them, be proud of them, make the most of them. I couldn't program a computer for any amount of money but I have certain kinds of problem solving capabilities. I'm in awe of those who can program computers, troubleshoot them, & especially of those who can do computer forensics. Wow! I'm pretty good at math but am truly in awe of those who have a real talent for it. I'm in awe of those who have a greater talent than me at anything I do, because I know what goes into it. I'm not good at any sports but love to watch a talented sports player in just about any sport. We're all given important talents. Mine happen to mostly be in creative pursuits, which end up being more showy & admired, more often recognized as talents. I don't believe I have a huge amount of talent in any one thing but I've been given a passion to go with some of my talents that has led me to develop them to a point. It was actually a burden growing up with a wide variety of talents & passions. I always felt like a "jack of all trades, master of none." And I did that horrible thing people do to themselves - measured myself against "greats" & found myself wanting to the point that I often gave up. I didn't value myself or any of my talents enough to work at them enough to make them pay off. I denigrated & relegated them. Now I'm not doing that. I'm elevating them to see which ones I need to be using now in what way. I'm trotting them out before God, who gave them to me, to see what I should do with them. And that's one of my sources of great joy, because it fuels those passions.
God has special work for each of us to do, if we choose to. He has given each of us a set of traits, abilities, & talents so that we will be drawn to & prepared for the work He has for each of us. I know I keep repeating "each of us" & that's not good writing but I'm doing it for a purpose. Because I truly mean EACH OF US. I'm not special or different - I've just said "yes" & keep saying yes on a daily basis. He calls each of us & each of us has a choice to make every time He calls. I tried & failed to answer "yes" many times over because I had mistaken thoughts about what saying yes would mean, was still too stuck in my own life & circumstances before. Most of all, I never felt worthy before. Even when I wanted to say yes I doubted myself & doubted the call because I didn't feel worthy, certainly didn't feel equipped for the task. Now I know that to doubt yourself in this is to doubt God. He wouldn't call you for something He hasn't equipped you for!
One of the biggest problems people face who want to serve God is hearing religion vs. God. First, let me again say that I love church & churches, & many church goers. There's a Methodist church in Maryland that's one of my favorite places in the world, full of some of my favorite people! But even there at various times I heard religion calling to those in the congregation to do things that weren't for me to do, & I didn't hear my true calling clearly. I didn't learn to talk with God or listen to Him in church, didn't develop a relationship with Him there. You have to develop your own one-on-one relationship with Him before you can know what He wants of you. Disengage your head & open your whole heart to Him. You can start with words but then be quiet & listen to your heart & soon you'll be able to feel Him. The more you do that, the faster you'll get here! And if you have questions, I'd be glad to help!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
What A God-Centered Life Is & Isn't
I didn't want to narrow my world, give up anything, go around preaching to people or asking them if they're "saved," didn't want to be boring or go around quoting the Bible all the time. My ideas of what a God-centered life would be like were pretty restricting, & nothing like the reality. I cussed, drank socially, enjoyed dirty jokes & sex, was very worldly. I wanted what I wanted. So I often turned my back on God & religion, thinking they went together. Sometimes I went to church regularly for awhile, then I'd only go on Easter & Christmas Eve. I'd hear all the "shoulds" in many churches, & be turned off. I didn't want to go visit new area families with a loaf of bread & invite them to my church. That's not in my comfort zone. I didn't want to go out & make new disciples.
Over time I grew out of cussing & lost my taste for dirty jokes. I quit cussing when I had kids & thought about what they pick up from us. I had to work at it since I heard it at work all the time, but I decided on standards for my family life. For some reason, dirty jokes just became distasteful to me. I believe that came about as I learned more self-respect, & as I learned how beautiful lovemaking can be. Most dirty jokes are demeaning. Over time I became a kinder, gentler version of myself. I became much more sensitive to & empathetic toward others as I matured, while becoming less sensitive to perceived slights.
I have found that a God-centered life hasn't made me religious - I'm spiritual. I don't quote the Bible or try to convert anyone to my views, but I sometimes share my views. I have to, since it's woven into who I am. It's my story. I find that my views don't fit with most church teachings or the views most people hold. For example, I believe in reincarnation - most people & organized religions don't. So I don't spend any of my time in church, much less all of it. I can quote the Bible well but don't unless it pertains to a conversation. I haven't really changed my ways to put God at the center of my life & my life has greatly expanded instead of narrowed. And a cuss word came out of my mouth the other night with a group of spiritual friends after someone else cussed, & nothing bad happened to either of us. God is not up there waiting to drop a giant, God-sized shoe on us for any little thing we do.
One of the things that's changed for me is I know that now. I used to fear that shoe! I'd wince at any little "wrong" thing I did, waiting for it. But having God at the center of your life leads to the absence of fear. I've learned of His great Love for us, His acceptance of us as we are, His gentle guidance toward change. And all the changes are for our highest good, not to please Him. I've changed over time, in subtle ways, some from direct guidance & some just from within. He is within me & I know those changes come from Him but I haven't been aware of them happening, only notice the results. For example, I seldom eat red meat now. I crave fish, & fresh fruits & vegetables mostly. I eat whatever I want whenever I want but my cravings have changed to mostly healthier choices. I haven't given anything up, & I'm enjoying my food more than I have in years. But I'm healthier than I have been in years, have more energy, feel better, & I'm losing the weight I put on like crazy. Now I love looking in the mirror.
I enjoy most things more than I ever have before. My heart has become full of gratitude & appreciation, & it's led to more enjoyment of music, nature, food, just about every moment of life. Every day is full of adventure. I've never been a morning person but it's become my favorite time of day because I start the day fresh, with excitement. I never know what opportunities await me when I open email with my morning coffee. I so enjoy both! Often a friend has sent me an opportunity to promote my business or socialize, or information on a new opportunity to grow spiritually or heal. Websites send me such things too. What used to be a bother has transformed into an adventure. I love to learn & that too has been turned into a grand adventure. Each spiritual opportunity I accept has paid off beyond my wildest dreams. In my 20s & 30s & 40s I'd pray for the things I wanted in my life with "beyond my wildest dreams" tacked on. I knew what I meant, even though I hadn't experienced it. I knew there was much more to life & love than I was getting to experience. And that's exactly what a God-centered life is - everything good is beyond my wildest dreams - & folks, my dreams & expectations were pretty wild! I know I'm going to have to revisit this subject at another time. Just as I sensed that there was much more, "beyond my wildest dreams," I know that's really just an opening line, not a close.
Over time I grew out of cussing & lost my taste for dirty jokes. I quit cussing when I had kids & thought about what they pick up from us. I had to work at it since I heard it at work all the time, but I decided on standards for my family life. For some reason, dirty jokes just became distasteful to me. I believe that came about as I learned more self-respect, & as I learned how beautiful lovemaking can be. Most dirty jokes are demeaning. Over time I became a kinder, gentler version of myself. I became much more sensitive to & empathetic toward others as I matured, while becoming less sensitive to perceived slights.
I have found that a God-centered life hasn't made me religious - I'm spiritual. I don't quote the Bible or try to convert anyone to my views, but I sometimes share my views. I have to, since it's woven into who I am. It's my story. I find that my views don't fit with most church teachings or the views most people hold. For example, I believe in reincarnation - most people & organized religions don't. So I don't spend any of my time in church, much less all of it. I can quote the Bible well but don't unless it pertains to a conversation. I haven't really changed my ways to put God at the center of my life & my life has greatly expanded instead of narrowed. And a cuss word came out of my mouth the other night with a group of spiritual friends after someone else cussed, & nothing bad happened to either of us. God is not up there waiting to drop a giant, God-sized shoe on us for any little thing we do.
One of the things that's changed for me is I know that now. I used to fear that shoe! I'd wince at any little "wrong" thing I did, waiting for it. But having God at the center of your life leads to the absence of fear. I've learned of His great Love for us, His acceptance of us as we are, His gentle guidance toward change. And all the changes are for our highest good, not to please Him. I've changed over time, in subtle ways, some from direct guidance & some just from within. He is within me & I know those changes come from Him but I haven't been aware of them happening, only notice the results. For example, I seldom eat red meat now. I crave fish, & fresh fruits & vegetables mostly. I eat whatever I want whenever I want but my cravings have changed to mostly healthier choices. I haven't given anything up, & I'm enjoying my food more than I have in years. But I'm healthier than I have been in years, have more energy, feel better, & I'm losing the weight I put on like crazy. Now I love looking in the mirror.
I enjoy most things more than I ever have before. My heart has become full of gratitude & appreciation, & it's led to more enjoyment of music, nature, food, just about every moment of life. Every day is full of adventure. I've never been a morning person but it's become my favorite time of day because I start the day fresh, with excitement. I never know what opportunities await me when I open email with my morning coffee. I so enjoy both! Often a friend has sent me an opportunity to promote my business or socialize, or information on a new opportunity to grow spiritually or heal. Websites send me such things too. What used to be a bother has transformed into an adventure. I love to learn & that too has been turned into a grand adventure. Each spiritual opportunity I accept has paid off beyond my wildest dreams. In my 20s & 30s & 40s I'd pray for the things I wanted in my life with "beyond my wildest dreams" tacked on. I knew what I meant, even though I hadn't experienced it. I knew there was much more to life & love than I was getting to experience. And that's exactly what a God-centered life is - everything good is beyond my wildest dreams - & folks, my dreams & expectations were pretty wild! I know I'm going to have to revisit this subject at another time. Just as I sensed that there was much more, "beyond my wildest dreams," I know that's really just an opening line, not a close.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Benefits of Journaling
If you are healing emotionally, need to, or are on a spiritual journey, I recommend journaling. I'm also big on Pro/Con & other types of list making. List making is great when you're having trouble making a decision or seeing a person (including yourself) or situation clearly. These are tools I regularly recommend to people I'm helping, coaching. One of my favorite lists was made in 1991 & I still remember most of what's on it. It was a list of aptitudes & skills, total possibility thinking. It's the only one of that type where I didn't limit myself at all & includes things that are now manifesting or about to, like life coaching, teaching, & public speaking!
The benefits of journaling are many. One of the things it's done for me is help me uncover what I'm really feeling. Journaling as a habit becomes a way of delving into our subconscious mind. The more regularly you do it the more it helps. When you first start, you'll probably start with what happened during the day that elicited the most emotion or stuck foremost in your mind. Or you may feel like a blank slate & feel you never know what to write. Those are both common starting points.
I journaled my way through recovering memories of my childhood & the abuse. I journaled my way through both divorces. I started out thinking "I'll write about X that happened today" but soon found that my journaling had morphed over time. During those peak times of stress, I discovered that often what I thought I'd start with wasn't what I put on paper. I journal in colorful spiral notebooks with a pen. I think better that way. Remember, I'm 55 so I didn't have a computer until I was in my 40s. I'm of the "pen & paper" generation, so that's the best way for me to contemplate & get in touch with myself. And that's what journaling at it's best is about. Many younger people find it easier on the computer. Either way works, as long as you're letting the stream of words & feelings flow. I'd sit by myself with my notebook & paper & just think at first - "gather myself," & then start writing. In that gathering moment, whatever was closest to my heart would surface. As I wrote, I'd find out how I was really doing. I also got to vent, or congratulate myself, face my fears & regrets or sorrows, in a safe place. If you use the computer, I really don't recommend blogging your journal. It should be just for you, your safe place. My daughter knows that when I die she's to burn all my journals without reading them. She knows that when you read something personal like that, you're going to find things that make you uncomfortable, bother you. She knows to respect herself & me & not go back on the promise. And so I do feel entirely safe to say anything I want & know it will never be read by anyone but me.
Once you get into the habit & the flow, you discover things you didn't realize about yourself, your emotions, your feelings. We all hide things from ourselves, & when you're ready to release them, if you journal regularly you're providing a readily available outlet. It's also helpful if you ever want to help someone else through trouble - if you've recorded your journey. I seldom read over anything I've written previously in my personal journal, but I sometimes note significant dates at the top of a page, or events. In my spiritual journal, I have all kinds of notes at the tops of pages so I can refer back to various growth events & lessons. Pretty soon I'll probably have only one journal because these days the personal & spiritual overlap so much. But I'll still note references at the tops of pages, because I'm creating a spiritual journey map for helping myself & others.
I've journaled my deepest shames & regrets, faced them, learned to forgive myself. In the 1990s, when I first recovered my memories while going through a painful divorce, journaling helped me handle & release nearly unbearable pain. (Wow - I'd forgotten that I went through both at once!) It also helped me separate truth from fiction - what I was told & what was being said against me vs. reality. It helped me uncover the lies from my childhood & see things in the light of truth. (Victims are brainwashed over time.) At best, journaling becomes an intimate conversation with self that we don't otherwise take the opportunity to have. I recommend it to all of you as a way to take time to listen to your self.
The benefits of journaling are many. One of the things it's done for me is help me uncover what I'm really feeling. Journaling as a habit becomes a way of delving into our subconscious mind. The more regularly you do it the more it helps. When you first start, you'll probably start with what happened during the day that elicited the most emotion or stuck foremost in your mind. Or you may feel like a blank slate & feel you never know what to write. Those are both common starting points.
I journaled my way through recovering memories of my childhood & the abuse. I journaled my way through both divorces. I started out thinking "I'll write about X that happened today" but soon found that my journaling had morphed over time. During those peak times of stress, I discovered that often what I thought I'd start with wasn't what I put on paper. I journal in colorful spiral notebooks with a pen. I think better that way. Remember, I'm 55 so I didn't have a computer until I was in my 40s. I'm of the "pen & paper" generation, so that's the best way for me to contemplate & get in touch with myself. And that's what journaling at it's best is about. Many younger people find it easier on the computer. Either way works, as long as you're letting the stream of words & feelings flow. I'd sit by myself with my notebook & paper & just think at first - "gather myself," & then start writing. In that gathering moment, whatever was closest to my heart would surface. As I wrote, I'd find out how I was really doing. I also got to vent, or congratulate myself, face my fears & regrets or sorrows, in a safe place. If you use the computer, I really don't recommend blogging your journal. It should be just for you, your safe place. My daughter knows that when I die she's to burn all my journals without reading them. She knows that when you read something personal like that, you're going to find things that make you uncomfortable, bother you. She knows to respect herself & me & not go back on the promise. And so I do feel entirely safe to say anything I want & know it will never be read by anyone but me.
Once you get into the habit & the flow, you discover things you didn't realize about yourself, your emotions, your feelings. We all hide things from ourselves, & when you're ready to release them, if you journal regularly you're providing a readily available outlet. It's also helpful if you ever want to help someone else through trouble - if you've recorded your journey. I seldom read over anything I've written previously in my personal journal, but I sometimes note significant dates at the top of a page, or events. In my spiritual journal, I have all kinds of notes at the tops of pages so I can refer back to various growth events & lessons. Pretty soon I'll probably have only one journal because these days the personal & spiritual overlap so much. But I'll still note references at the tops of pages, because I'm creating a spiritual journey map for helping myself & others.
I've journaled my deepest shames & regrets, faced them, learned to forgive myself. In the 1990s, when I first recovered my memories while going through a painful divorce, journaling helped me handle & release nearly unbearable pain. (Wow - I'd forgotten that I went through both at once!) It also helped me separate truth from fiction - what I was told & what was being said against me vs. reality. It helped me uncover the lies from my childhood & see things in the light of truth. (Victims are brainwashed over time.) At best, journaling becomes an intimate conversation with self that we don't otherwise take the opportunity to have. I recommend it to all of you as a way to take time to listen to your self.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Executive Decision Not to Give It All Away
I just posted a blog about cats, Part I, said I'd cover many more topics. As things occurred to me I added notes to an already full page. I realized that I could fill this blog 5 days a week for weeks with all you need to know on the subject, "What Your Cat Wishes You Knew."
I try to make the blog appeal to a wide range of people & some people don't have cats, so filling so many days with specific information about them is not a good use of my space. Also, my knowledge has value, & I can't always give everything away. My living needs to come from my knowledge & talents, my calling. Cats are definitely a part of my calling.
So "in my spare time" I'll be writing a publication about cats. It will read much the way my blogs do. My talents include teaching, animal communication, & writing. This publication will be thorough & will take a lot of time. I put great care into my choice of words, speak to my audience in a way that makes me understood. I will charge a nominal fee for this based on my cost, will self-publish to keep the cost down. It won't be fancy, but it will cover all they want you to know!
I try to make the blog appeal to a wide range of people & some people don't have cats, so filling so many days with specific information about them is not a good use of my space. Also, my knowledge has value, & I can't always give everything away. My living needs to come from my knowledge & talents, my calling. Cats are definitely a part of my calling.
So "in my spare time" I'll be writing a publication about cats. It will read much the way my blogs do. My talents include teaching, animal communication, & writing. This publication will be thorough & will take a lot of time. I put great care into my choice of words, speak to my audience in a way that makes me understood. I will charge a nominal fee for this based on my cost, will self-publish to keep the cost down. It won't be fancy, but it will cover all they want you to know!
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