Go For It! - Speak Up For Yourself, Set Intent

I've recently been working with my daughter on very serious life issues. One of them is worthiness. Poor thing, she is so my daughter! She puts the wellbeing & happiness of others before her own, feels she has to do this. Lately we've had some very long phone conversations about this, as well as "chats" on Facebook, & some emails. In one conversation I was telling her that it's right to set her intent for what she needs to thrive & she asked, with deep pain in her heart, "But what about taking away the happiness of someone else if I do that?" I had to explain to her that those closest to us are not truly happy if we're not, especially at our expense. She saw it as her happiness or the other person's, but not that both could be achieved. I pointed out that each person is responsible for his or her own happiness. And that going for her own is not at the expense of someone else's when all you're doing is setting intent for happiness & what you need. If you are general about it - for example, request true happiness from the Universe, that encompasses the happiness & needs of those closest to you. The Universe never delivers at the expense of others & always delivers. So what happens if you really set your intent for happiness & the others around you don't? You get what you need & they don't! And that's not what you did, it's what they didn't do. What happens if none of you set your intent for happiness? No one gets it & nothing changes for the better. So if you set your intent, at least you get what you need & you're doing what you're supposed to do. You can't control what they do!

In all ways I'm the right person to guide her in this. I know her better than anyone else. I know her entire history. And I've fought the same demons she is, exactly. If you regularly read my blog you see that I still have trouble putting my needs first, & the barely surviving vs. thriving she talked about has been a recent theme for me too. I'm still thinking about what she said about me being a master of control of myself. When she agreed to me saying that, she was so emphatic that I had to ask why. She said I've always done the "right thing" no matter the cost to me - in my marriages & toward my mother for example. I control my thoughts, emotions, & needs in order to keep doing this. I know somewhere in this there's some profound truth I need to better understand but it hasn't come to me yet. So her words have stuck with me. Sometimes I tell you that I eventually learn all I need to, get all the messages I need to. This is a great example of that "eventually." It doesn't always come right away, but it always does come.

She started out by asking me how one knows how much they need to survive, so she could figure out what to settle for. But like me, she's rather tired of just barely surviving. So I started talking with her about manifestation statements. Now, she reads my blog every day so she should know all this without being told now. But she wasn't ready before. Messages only sink in when we're ready for them. It's funny to me how many messages from the past, including Bible verses, have taken on new meaning for me in the past 19 months. Things I thought I knew & understood are finally crystal clear & real for me, alive in ways they never were before. I started her with some manifestation statements & then we'll do the "I Am"s, which is what she needs most. I'll also give her information on specific angels to work with. This is the same as I've offered to do with each of you in the life coaching phase but no one has gotten to the point that they've asked me for it. Most of you are told to write your manifestation statements & then get back to me with them for editing or tweaking as needed. But I actually wrote a few for my daughter to start with. She said one of them made her cry, in an email. And this is what I wrote back to her: "The tears are good, a release as part of changing your life. You're releasing old pain & coming into the new. This will help you transform your expectations & therefore your life. It is entirely safe to do this. You are opening yourself to Universal peace, love, happiness, wholeness, all blessings. Unless you greatly altered what I wrote, you have left entire room for the universe to fill in the details in the best way possible for you & those whose lives touch yours. There's nothing selfish in this! You are not asking for happiness at the expense of others in this way, only working on getting your own needs met, as you're supposed to do. It's the responsibility of each of us to realize that we are worthy & deserving, & that's what this is about. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness & needs no matter what relationships we're in with whom. It's a private journey to wholeness."

I don't have the statements I wrote for her at this point. I'll have to get her to send them to me so I can give them to you, because I know many of you have this same problem & they were very good. I'll also share the "I Am" statements I help her write, but not whichever ones that are deeply personal that she writes for herself. The manifestation statements set intent that will transform your life. The "I Am" statements set intent to change yourself, your beliefs about yourself & life, your outlook. So they're both very important. The angel work calls in God's messengers & helpers to help you do it all. So it's all very important. As I do with all of you, this will come about in phases so she's not overwhelmed, & neither am I. There's a lot I put into this for someone. There's a lot for the person to think about, a lot of self-examination, so it's a process not to be rushed. Once I have all that done, I'll share.

More on Progress, New Experiences

I've been holding back on writing some of my new experiences because I'm not sure of the belief levels of those who read this blog. I didn't want to sound too weird, to lose anyone. Then I was reading an article from the Oprah magazine, December 2011 (a bit behind on magazines), & it gave me a way to explain this stuff. Of course, as always these days, it came right when I needed it, between yesterday's posting & today's. It's an article on spiritual experiences from a scientific viewpoint. You all have heard "right brained" vs. "left brained." The left hemisphere of our brains is where we do our logical thinking & calculations, & men are known to be more left brained. The left hemisphere is also the side that processes language. The right hemisphere is more associated with intuitive & subjective thinking, connects us to the "bigger picture & the present moment, where there are no boundaries & you're a part of it all." At the Laurentian University in Ontario, Canada, a cognitive neuroscience researcher, Michael Persinger, PhD, has worked with a device to induce right brain experiences & studied the results. The person writing the article asked him if this ability to induce experiences means the brain makes up the responses. He said, "It just tells you that if the brain is appropriately stimulated, you can have important experiences, with powerful healing effects." He says the brain is hard-wired for transcendent experiences & a sense of connectedness. He thinks it's part of our evolution & adaptation. The article goes on to tell you how to open up your mind to transcendent experiences. One is to practice mirror writing. You compose words from right to left, reversing the letters. It says moving your hind in this novel way requires activity in the right hemisphere. Another is to sing. It doesn't matter whether you're singing well, only that you are. That & other creative endeavors helps fire the right brain. They also suggest thinking sideways, using "lateral thinking puzzles," & give an example of problems that require examination from unexpected angles. One is to put 5 toothpicks on a flat surface so they form the number 5. Then, without adding any, make the number 16. This is one you really have to work at.

I used to be about 60/40 or so as far as right brained/left brained, in that order. My natural state is to be more right brained but I've had to be the functioning adult & take care of myself so much in my life that I really had to develop those left brain capabilities. I'm not sure what the percentage is now. I believe it varies every single day at this point, which hemisphere I function most in. But what I see happening, now that I think of it in these terms, is that I'm truly developing my right brain capabilities, intentionally. The experiences I'm having are available to most of us, all those of us who have a fully functioning right hemisphere. I can now do almost everything I once thought was cool or wanted to do! About the only things I haven't done are real past life regression work, shape shifting, journeying, or play with fairies. But over the weekend I did 4 readings for people, including myself. I do better readings for others than I do with myself sometimes, because I get impatient when I don't get the message I want or think I should, or it doesn't seem clear to me. Then, the next day, I go back & review the cards because I realize the message is there & I then really get it. It's much easier to read someone else. Sunday the 2 people I read were asking me how I do it, whether I get messages or a feeling. It's all of the above. I'm given to know the meaning of the cards. That's psychic ability, & mine is growing all the time. A lot of that was in yesterday's blog. I'm in tune with the energy of this area now, crystals, people, animals, my departed loves ones, angels, my guides, God, & Jesus. I receive messages pretty much every day now. I can readily & easily connect with any animal who wishes me to. The list goes on. I used to want to be like Sonya Fitzpatrick, the Pet Psychic from the Animal Planet shows. She is amazing! Her energy is so beautiful! I felt it just from watching her on TV over time. Then I actually got to speak with her 3 times! Around the time I got to talk with her I was told I'd surpass her work! And I see it coming now, see my gifts unfolding. In these things I feel so greatly blessed. God gives us these powerful urges to be something more than we are or do something more than we are at this point. Whatever powerful urge you feel, go for it! It's there for a reason so set your intent. It's taken me 19 months to get to this point & in other ways, 56 years. But let's go back to the last 19 months. The 19 months passed & would, with or without this. And it's not like suddenly, 19 months later this has all popped out. The journey & discoveries along the way have been amazing, & it's not over yet. And it all unfolds in the proper time. You can't force it. All you can do is set your intent & work toward it in every way presented. All the rest is what the Universe (God, angels, etc.) then do. The timing is perfect & we can't know it. So don't be upset or worried if you think you should have started before now or should be further along than you are. The simple answer to that is "NO." There are none of those dirty little "shoulds" here. You can have faith that it's unfolding as it is supposed to.

Now I have to tell you what happened to me yesterday. I went to the home of my mentor & he showed me a plant that he's calling a Reiki plant. It's a very unusual begonia called escargot & has curled & swirling leaves that are huge. I don't even know if it every gets blossoms. I don't care. The energy of the plant is amazing! It was hidden among others but when he pointed it out to me I immediately felt the energy & fell in love with the plant, asked him to get me some next time he saw them. We then walked around his lawn & experienced the different plants, talked about their energy & how they were doing in their locations, etc. He moved there in October so this is his first spring & he's learning the plantings & planning. Just after that I was standing on his deck in front of a massive fur tree. Next thing I knew, that tree was pouring love onto me. He has lots of new growth & he invited me to come pet him. He drew me in, drew me toward him. I knew how soft those tufts of new growth would be, could feel them in my hands before I went to him. (I say him because that's my orientation.) There was a powerful connection & bonding when I touched him. It was as if the tree was Spirit, which it is. He told me proudly that he was originally a Christmas tree, planted out there after the season. I could have stayed there with him, happily. I could have sat underneath his branches & meditated, just communed, abiding in that love. Instead, I told him I'd be back when I could & went to talk with my friend. While talking, I realized this wasn't my first tree experience. I had entirely forgotten that I had a relationship with an ironwood tree when I was in my late teens. I used to hug that tree & lay my cheek against his bark, which is entirely smooth & unbroken. And I used to feel the love from that tree. Later I thought about it & realized that at that time, I was entirely connected with Jesus. That was during the time when I would have long nightly give & take talks with Him. I was entirely spiritually open during that time.

Later my friend & I went to 2 nurseries, & there the plants started speaking to my heart, certain ones clearly drawing me to them. I bought 2 of them. One was so strong that he called to me from a group of others. Now he's on my porch & I feel him whenever I go outside, am basking in his presence. The other was a bit more subtle. I've never had that happen before. I resisted buying one of my favorite flowers, instead bought the 2 that called me. At the next nursery were the begonias. I was going to leave with just one but 2 just wouldn't let me go. They were in a group & all of them were speaking to my heart but I was trying to just listen to the strongest one & 2 wouldn't let me put them back, insisted on going with me. They will work together when I do my healing work on myself & others, & are obviously male & female energies. I can tell from their spread vs. height. Again, entirely new experiences for me. Later I figured out what must have happened. When I saw the man's begonia, it must have activated me because all else happened after that, & they are very magical plants with very powerful energy. And now I have 2 of them in my home! They're in separate pots & right now I have 1 in my bedroom & 1 in the Reiki healing room. I can move them as I like, put both of them in my bedroom or in the healing room as needed, & will. I can hardly wait to see what happens now that they're here & I'm activated. But I do know that I'm to work more with plant energy for healing than I have been in the past, to strengthen my connection, & I've been working toward that in my heart & intent, my angel work. I'm there with essential oils but the yearning has always been in me toward herbalism. I'm very excited about this new unfolding! My life is so very exciting & full because of things like that. It's ever fresh & new because of these unfoldings. I never know what will happen next on any given day, & my life has become a glorious & almost daily new adventure, especially now that the energies of spring are unfolding.

Prayer Life Transformed - Spiritual Progress

I was attuned to Reiki I at the beginning of October 2010, so that was 19 months ago. The guy who told me about Reiki "warned" me that it would entirely change my life, especially starting with my second attunement. It's Sunday, I'll post this tomorrow. This past week has been a monumental transformation week for me, & the energies of the brightest full moon has been wonderful over the weekend. Yesterday I took full advantage of it, to meditate, process, receive messages.

There is much in my life & self that's bigger than me, bigger than I can handle on my own. My most beloved daughter & I have been having discussions about this during the past week. I attuned her to Reiki I last October, & I see the openings & changes happening within her too as a result. I'm so thrilled. For some years now we've been able to really share with each other & now we have the spiritual too, & it's humbling & awesome to be guiding her! It's profound.

We were talking last week about some feelings I've been controlling & stuffing for many years now. I know that I'm a master at that but when she so agreed with me, I asked her to explain & got new perspective. She was telling me that I'm one who always tries to do what's right in all areas of my life, in all ways, toward all others, in all situations. So I have stuffed many of my needs & feelings in the process - managed them, controlled them & myself, in an effort to do no harm & put others & duty first. I'm still sitting with that one. While it's admirable, it's also extremely significant for my life & not entirely healthy. In fact, it's often fairly unhealthy. I need better balance in this. I realize it's one of my defining traits, one I really need to examine.

As I said, I've been controlling & stuffing some feelings for many years now, & they emerged fully a week ago with great insight, a new perspective after 21 years! I realized that I have to do something about a huge piece of unfinished business here rather than continue to stuff, control, & manage my feelings. I realized that my heart chakra has been cleared by releasing & handling these feelings, but I had to figure out what to then do with them. I realized that I needed to just daily give them to God, & it immediately transformed my prayer life because I've started now doing that with all my most beloved ones. I'll confess that my prayer life had become rather routine. I have a prayer list in my head that I actually "see," so I don't forget anyone. I've been praying for these people in order for quite a long time now, adding people as needed. So my list goes down one column, has a second, & has people written in between the columns as they were added. Truly, I worked my list daily that way! I no longer do that.

I have feelings for people that are out of my control. Some are bigger than me by far. Some are too complex for me. I can't directly do anything about or for any of these people. Examples are my mother & my most recent ex, but there's also huge love for several people who aren't in my life any more, & I can't do anything to change that, bring them back in. So I've started giving that love to God, who, after all, is the Source of that Love. I give it to Him for the highest good He can do for that person, & for whatever healing I need in this. It's transformed my prayer life because my prayers are now not at all routine & so heart centered as to involve my entire, deepest heart. My prayer time is now profound & deeply moving for me. I can hardly wait to see what's going to happen as a result, in their lives & mine, & what experiences I'm going to have from this!

Yesterday I did an angel oracle card reading for myself for the first time in a long time. I used Doreen Virtue's Archangel Michael deck & received some valuable new messages & prayers to Michael & other angels. Today I wrote them out & uttered them for the first time. And for the first time, I held my new radio clear quartz crystal to my heart as I did my work aloud - "I Am" statements, manifestation statements, & my angel prayers (the angel work I always mention). I've come so far in all this too. A few months ago I doubted the power of healing crystals because I just wasn't feeling it. Then a friend took me to one of the Carnegie museums, that has a room full of them. I spent about 45 minutes there & so many of them are healing crystals that I was flying by the time I left the room. So I no longer doubted, & ended up being more sensitized afterwards. I purposely drank in the healing energy every time I stood looking at one of the healing crystals, so the intent was there too. Then my BFF Pam sent me a very special radio quartz crystal & I could feel the power as soon as I touched it. She was "told" this was the one for me & boy is it! I put it in the sun for 24 hours to charge it & use it now in my card readings & Reiki & it's totally magnified my efforts.

Not only am I now more sensitized to crystals, but I've seen my psychic gifts & talents opening & progressing hugely lately, one experience after another. Yesterday I was shown a photo of a dog in need of emotional healing. When I do Distance Reiki on an animal, I like to see a photo first so I can fix the image in my mind & heart. Then when I go to do Reiki, I connect with the animal & communicate. This time, after a moment of concentration & looking into the eyes of the dog in the photo, I totally connected! The dog gave me a full emotional profile of his needs, which I could translate as he "spoke" to me. When I talk of speaking with animals, that's how the communication goes. They speak in pictures & emotional messages that I then have to translate into English. Although when they want to communicate with their people through me, it's given to me straight in English so it's an accurate message of what the animal wishes to say. Through my angel work today & the ease with which I'm getting messages & visions these days, I see that a whole world is opening to me swiftly & fully, & I'm thrilled. The other day I visited with my beloved Grandpa, who died in 1985. I almost saw him in physical form. His height was there in relationship with mine, he "spoke" with me (more like the dog did than words), & then he held me in his arms & I almost physically felt it. Then Grandma joined us in a group hug. When I first moved here, I wasn't aware of the energies of this place, but I'm gaining that awareness too. I'm receiving visions & messages from my angels & guides too, in response to my requests for greater relationship with them. All the things I longed for as I learned they were possible, early in this journey after my first attunement, is coming to me now & it's glorious.

Free Will vs. Destiny

This question comes up a lot too. We are all created with free will. So how much does God intervene on our behalf? What about the angels? How much of our lives is destiny vs. us exercising our free will?

I have been told & firmly believe that the angels will not intervene on our behalf unless we ask them. I've been told that they are bound by God to stay out of it unless we ask, but that they're there for whatever we need when we need & ask them. I've also been told that there are specific angels for specific things. I believe all of this. I work with specific angels every day. I grew up thinking that guardian angels were a warm & comforting concept but I was wistful, thinking if they exist, I didn't have one. Now I know better. I know I have a full council of angels, teachers, & guides. Some are my dearly departed, like my beloved grandparents. Others have never walked the earth. These are angels. We also have teachers & guides & they have walked the earth. Sometimes we think of our departed loved ones as angels in heaven looking down on us, watching out for us. But by definition, "angel" were never on earth. Our departed are our teachers or guides. We also each have at least one guide assigned to us for every day things, someone who once walked the earth. Usually it's not someone you walked the earth with this time, like my grandparents. I fully believe in reincarnation & I believe in some instances if not all, we may have incarnated with our daily guide in at least one lifetime. I won't swear to that because I'm not really sure, haven't really cared. I don't actually have a real feel for Ana, my daily guide. I'm so connected to some others in my life, angels, my departed grandparents & such, that Ana & I are barely acquainted in my awareness.

And that brings me to the question of destiny. I believe that most people on earth in this incarnation are here for experience life & progress in their spiritual evolution & journey. I believe that younger souls are simply here for the experience even more than spiritual evolution. Older souls who still have spiritual progress & learning to make, or karma to work out, are here for that. These older souls have come with a set purpose in their spirits, have made a blueprint before they were born for what they'd like to accomplish & learn in this life. I'll come back to them later.

There's a lot of people on earth now who are very old souls who have come for earth mission. For them, it's less about their spiritual journey or karma & more about what they came to do on earth as an emissary of God, to mankind. All of these people preplanned their lives - who they would be born to for what experience & result, how long they'd live, who they'd partner with, what they'd do, & more. Sylvia Browne has a lot to say about this in one of her books or more. I can't think of the title right now & don't feel like going to look it up, especially since I'm many hours late writing & posting this. (Had to get a grant finished & turned in today & started the day with way too much still to do on it. I apologize.) But if you want to know what book, just post a comment here or on Facebook & I'll look it up for you. The people in this category have been talked about a lot recently & there are many labels including Indigo Child, Earth Angel, & Lightworker. This encompasses all of them, & I haven't named every category labeled. All of these people are born as humans, part of the 3rd Dimensional human condition with free will. All quickly forget, after birth & assimilation into the world, where they came from & what they're to do. All are immersed in the struggle for love, warmth, family, security, etc. But all are here for a purpose, & carry an urge inside them they don't understand for many years. They are therefore more open to messages & promptings, part of them always seeking, wanting to go about God's business. Many don't think of Him as God or as a male at all. Please understand that's just my chosen language. They all have free will & make choices, but are more open to & subject to the guidance toward their path & mission. Now I'll say I fall into this category, someone with a mission, because I'm tired of the awkwardness of saying "they" instead of "we." I'm not sure how much of my life as been determined by exercise of my free will & what I preplanned. Certainly it looks like I've made a whole lot of really bad choices in my life. Yet I am who I am today by cumulative effect of these choices, in part. And I've learned & grown from all of them. In fact, I've learned way more from the "bad" stuff than the happy stuff. So I don't know to what degree my free will choices have determined my past & current life vs. what I preplanned. I only know it really doesn't matter. All that matters if where I am now & where I'm going. And I do know that now that I'm enlightened to my path (working for God), the messages & information I need to do that come as I need them. I know that I now consciously learn from everything in my life, including others, things I read & encounter, & all the "problems" or pain in my life. It is my intent to do the work I contracted to do, so not only am I open to the messages & lessons, I seek them. Whenever anything seems to happen, I realize that there's a message there & look for it. I use my free will now to learn all I can, all I need to equip me for my work & further it.

Back to the older souls I mentioned at the end of paragraph 3. I believe their reality, free will vs. destiny, lies somewhere between the young souls & those mentioned in the 4th paragraph. So I believe we all have free will. I believe we all have a reason to be on earth. I believe that young souls didn't have to do a lot of detail planning before being born this time. I believe that older souls did some detailed planning because of what they wanted to accomplish to more forward in their spiritual growth cycle. And I believe that those of us on earth who contracted to work for God put a whole lot of detailed planning into our earth journey before starting it. I'm just not sure how much. I happen to know I chose my parents & the abuse, chose my last husband, although perhaps not the abuse. He had a choice & this lifetime was his last chance to work out his karma with me. He almost did it, almost changed his life once I entered it. But he was too weak willed, too entrenched in some really unhealthy things to do it despite his love for me. So I suffered the sexual abuse. Could be that part was going to happen anyway, just part of all I signed up for. Could be that God is now using what happened to help me learn a needed lesson, & I won't have to learn it another way. Could be that I contracted to learn the lessons but not how. As I've said, I don't care, don't need to know the details about these things. I know the general principles now & that's finally enough for me. I used to want to know it all - exactly who, how, & what God is, all the whys and wherefores. Now I know the essence of, & no longer feel the need to know the rest. Plus I'm learning more all the time.

Legacy, Our Footprints on Earth

We all leave footprints on earth. I often think about this. My mother left the printed word better for having been involved in it. I do that too. But she will die friendless, with only paid caretakers & no one will really mourn her greatly. Her legacy is selfishness, total self-centeredness to the Nth degree. My father left a legacy with the Portland, Oregon police force & many there. Both left children & grandchildren. I was created by them but not nurtured or really loved by them. My father left little imprint on my life except absence & need.

Today my daughter said that I welcome & accept everyone as family & that's part of what she loves about me. That was a great blessing to my heart & again started this line of thinking. I'd like that to be part of what I'm known for, part of my legacy. Part of my legacy is the 2 children I produced & raised. I did my best to teach them my values toward the care & treatment of others, the earth, those on it, animal & human. My daughter too welcomes & accepts everyone as family, & I'm very proud of that in her. It's one of the things I really love about her.

You can't create a legacy or image for yourself. You have to model it every day, throughout your life. My recent ex tried to live a persona instead of actually doing. He modeled a lie to the extent that he largely believed it. I remember him insisting to me that he was a good person, in a pleading tone, wanting me to agree. This was about a month before he looked me in the eye & told me he'd kill my mother if she called the police on him again for stealing her entire life savings! He wanted people to look up to him, to think that he was big, powerful, successful. Yet he wouldn't work! He wanted people to think he was kind & gentle, truly caring. Yet he got his only real sexual pleasure from hurting & controlling me! It was all about him & I was just the object. Now his legacy reflects him truly. He's a convicted felon who's done jail time, thanks to me. His friends & children are ashamed of him. The illusions are at least partially gone. I have no idea how he now thinks of himself, but everyone else fully sees him for what he truly is.

You can't forever hide what's in your heart & what kind of person you are. And your legacy will be just that. I try to live all day every day in alignment with my values & my self. I try to be the best me I can be at all times. I want my footprints to be gentle on this earth. I walk carefully around the cats in my home & all animals & people. I try to put out nothing but love, empathy, caring, kindness. I want to create love & family, spread unconditional love, understanding, & healing to all I meet. I want to provide the love & care that people lack. I try to fill my own needs by knowing I've filled the similar needs of others rather than trying to get what I need. I don't give love to get love. I give love to make sure others don't hurt as I have hurt. I touch to give love. I communicate to share & give. My heart is to improve the lives of others. Yes, I so want to be loved, accepted, cared for, treasured. But even more so, I want to do those things for others. Yes, I want to be healed, but I'm also very concerned about providing healing for others. I hurt for the needs of others just as I hurt for my own, & I have a great need to ease the suffering in any way I can. I also so feel this toward animals. And so every day of my life is primarily about these things.

I want to be known for the people & animals I've loved & helped. In that, I want to have made the biggest mark possible on earth. It's not that I want to be known or make a name for myself in any way. Part of me would love some fame & fortune, but not so much for or from that. I love performing, loved playing clarinet solos & leads. And who doesn't want prosperity? I'd love being an acclaimed public speaker. But again, part of that would be knowing I was getting the message out. I would love to be a published author, with a large number of book sales. That goes more back to the music performances. I'd love to sell my paintings, have them valued. Again, that speaks to valuable talent, being able to produce something from within myself that has measurable value as art. But most of all, I want to love & help, animals & people. I want my children to reflect this kind of heart & project it around them & continue my legacy. I want to spread love, healing, grace, beauty, peace, love, contentment, & fulfillment to everyone I can, everyone around me. (I had to edit that last sentence because healing is so important to me that I accidentally included it again at the end of the list.) None of this is because of how I want to be remembered - it's simply what's in my heart. And I live my life according to my heart values & promptings every day now. As I result, the payoff happens to be in the present. I get all that coming back to me & more. I reap what I sow, am greatly blessed in return. And that flow continues because I continue to give, live according to my values, & am totally grateful for all that comes to me as a result.

I believe that everything we do & say is a single drop of water on the surface of a pond. It creates only a small ripple that we can see, & soon no longer visible. But it matters. Just because we don't see much doesn't mean it's not happening. We don't see air either (no, that's not air silly, that's pollution). Every good thing you do or say creates positive reactions that can be far reaching & the same is true of every negative. You simply can't unsay something or take back words or deeds. And once you've said or done them, the effects are like & entirely out of your control. You have no idea what chain of events you've set off. So I try to always & only do & say positive things, to create the best effects. And doing good can be truly free. Anyone & everyone can do it. One thing I believe is that if you have anything positive to say, go out of your way to say it & say it immediately. With phone, Facebook, & email it's easier than ever & free or virtually so. I will sometimes get online just to do that so I do it in the moment, before I forget or lose the full emotion & thought. And when I think of something I can do for someone, I do my best to make it happen, as quickly as possible. My economic situation doesn't currently allow me to be a financial giver but there's still plenty I can & do manage to do for others. If nothing else, giving love, true listening, & care are always free.

I can't control my legacy through my children. I can't control whether people are going to like or love me, be kind or giving. I can't control what people think or say of me. So I don't concern myself with any of those things. Instead, I bask in those who treat me kindly, give me love & good attention & walk away from the rest. I do control what I can, which is my actions, reactions, & attitudes. And I live purposefully every single day, in alignment with what I believe is important. So I am actually creating my legacy, as I'm very careful of my footprints.

Time to Wrap Up Unfinished Business!

It's actually Sunday, April 29 as I write this & the theme for today is unfinished business. During the past week the heat wouldn't come on because I was being cold hearted toward my mother. It took me hours to get the message while trying everything to get the heating system, only 18 months old, back on. There's no earthly reason for it not to work so I knew to look elsewhere for meaning. I was so cold & miserable I finally asked God for a direct message. Come to think of this, I think I already wrote about this. If so, forgive the repeat, but again the heat won't come on & it's an example. I have unfinished business with my mother & still have unforgiveness & anger in my heart. A woman entered my life just over a week ago & "saw" it & told me that. It's so buried that I denied it, but then gave it further thought. We often do that, or at least I do. Something seems off base at first but stays with me when there is truth, until I see it for myself. So I tried to call my mother & was relieved she didn't answer the phone. The heat came on & I'd done my part. I even left a message with the home she's in, for her to call me. Days passed & she didn't I don't know what that's about, whether she's hardened her heart against me. It's definitely unfinished business & this is definitely the time for resolution of these things. Recently my mentor mentioned his efforts to clearing a piece of his too. So I'm meant to share this with you, so you can be about this too.

I also have unfinished business with my recent ex, although I don't know what to do about that. I'll have to figure out who else, search my brain & heart. But I do know that there are other men in my life I have unfinished business with, & I have to figure out how to do all this. I'll have to ask God for help & guidance in some of this, since this is truly about preparing myself for my current & future mission, ascension, etc.

What really started this theme of unfinished business today is the love I have for a man no longer in my life. I had some wrong thinking about the amount of love he had for me & decisions he made concerning whether we'd have a life together. I felt robbed & undervalued, under loved. God set the stage for this healing many years ago. I bought some novels & never read them, about 5 years or so ago. Now I'm craving pleasure reading & running out of books here. So I picked up one of them Friday night - thank You, Father, for prompting me on a weekend! Last night I became engrossed & stayed up all night finishing the book. At the end I came to understand the message for me, about his choices not having to do with the amount of love for me. Then I realized how deep the unfinished business goes. This dominated my dreams & the relationship was the subject of hours of journaling today. This led to great insights & a greater understanding of the love than I've ever had before. It also caused the feelings, buried so deeply that I no longer felt them, to resurface. I ended up doing Reiki on myself for physical healing, & coming to the point that I entirely surrendered to God my love for this man. It is a huge, all encompassing love, extraordinary & enduring, & truly occupies the largest part of my heart space for this kind of love. It stood between my 2nd husband & me at times, is the measure for all other relationships & men. And what to do with such deep & profound love when it can't be given or shared? I was inspired to give it totally into God's care & Hands. I gave it to Him to use entirely for the man it belongs to. Then I realized I also needed to give Him the mixed bag of feelings surrounding my mother & my most recent ex, to do with as He will.

Some of my unfinished business has to do with those who have passed on, like my father. I greet him every morning & tell him of my love for him. I sometimes talk with him about the relationship we didn't have while he was alive & one day last week I told him I thought it was about time we worked on having a relationship. I felt something briefly but that was it. But that's the way to handle that one, earnestly seek that. You can get resolution even if the person has passed. If necessary, get help from a medium. But you see, I am one. We'll see if I can do this on my own or whether I need help. I believe I can, because a gifted area medium, Dr. Marjorie (ChiChi) Rivera already channeled him for me once. The message was his regrets to me, how he has changed & moved on in the afterlife. And I already talk to him, just not with him.

I  know this is just the first message about unfinished business. I know it's just the beginning of my work with it. I know I'll have to ask for help with this - others around me who are gifted, God, the angels, my guides. It's a process, but one we must be starting so that we can release & move on. Disease is caused by dis-ease. Unfinished business & dis-ease, low vibrating, & holds us back. So it's very important now that we do anything & everything to heal these things & move forward. Of course I'll be sharing my progress & process with you, so you can learn to do it too.

How to Determine Your Passions & Purpose

Yesterday's blog talked about changing your life & mentioned setting your intent & going about getting what you want in your life. And last week I referred to this too, when I talked about Cari Murphy's excellent teleconference about shifting from surviving to thriving in your spiritually based business. You can find her at carimurphy.com. By the way, I forgot to say on April 27 that this blog has now been going strong for one full year!

I've talked before about having many different talents, gifts, & passions & having trouble channeling them so I especially took good notes during the Cari Murphy teleconference. She had a series of questions designed to point you to your dreams & passions, as follows. What comes so beautifully & so naturally to you that you just feel in the zone, that you feel each & very time that you do it that you're doing what you're supposed to be doing? What were you doing at the time you felt that? How did it make you feel? She goes on to say that you need to honor & trust that knowing & make a commitment to allowing that feeling to be known & experienced more & more in your daily life. Commit to that & begin to incorporate that emotion or passion into every single day. Begin to appreciate your ability to choose to incorporate that feeling into your life by design, by choice. This is what becoming a conscious creator is all about. You can choose to live in that emotional state of joy, passion, & purpose, & self love. Then you can't fail. It magnetizes it all, which then leads to the "serendipities" of life, those things that just seem to happen. Only it isn't that - it's that you're co-creating with the Universe. I haven't put this into quotes because sometimes I paraphrased what she said in my notes, & I've added some things. I am a constant student of Mike Dooley & this entirely fits what I've learned from him too. Whenever I teach anything about manifestation, intent, & purpose, I'm teaching a combination from my own life, Mike Dooley, & a bunch of other sources. Because working with intent, power, will, & manifestation energy is my main job & pursuit every day.

Remember that as you go along, it's not so important what you do as it is that you do, as long as your intent is clear & pure. In other words, your intent should include, "do no harm." As long as you're taking daily action toward your goals, you're doing the right thing. If you make a misstep, the Universe will redirect you. If you skip an important step, you'll have another opportunity. The tut.com Message from the Universe for today (it's actually Monday night) was excellent for this. "One little known secret to making precisely the right move, at precisely the right time in your life, Jenny Lea, is knowing that in all cases, there is more than one right move and more than one right time. Lots and lots more. In other words, no matter what you do next, or when, so long as you do something, I'll meet you there, smooth the edges, polish the grill, and connect the dots. Tallyho, The Universe." Then it concludes by saying, "Don't ask me what grill, Jenny Lea, I thought you'd know..." Now, you should have read this for yourself, with your name in it, in your in box! If you haven't yet done it no wonder your life isn't changing!!! Just do it! That needs to be your new mantra - JUST DO IT! No excuses about too much email & too little time. Excuses keep you stuck. Go to tut.com & sign up for the free adventure club daily messages from the universe & do it now! They're usually pretty brief & always profound, heart-warming, & just what you need when you need it! Mike Dooley spends about an hour writing each one! If you aren't willing to do this then don't bother to ever again complain to anyone about anything in your life! Your life will never change & you'll never get what you want so no one wants to hear you! You have to quit complaining & start doing, everything you can every day you can to change your life. Signing up for tut.com is actually the easiest of all the steps you need to take to get to where you want in your life.

Doing the dishes in the sink is a part of it. For me, it includes cleaning the litter boxes. I do these things every day. What do they have to do with my future? The least is that it doesn't pile up on me & become a burden. It also means someone can come visit or for business any time & I don't have to drop everything & scramble to have a presentable house or be embarrassed. That usually leads to not ever having people at your house. But the biggest thing I gain from that is my self image & pride in myself. I know I'm a hard worker & conscientious. I'm way more comfortable in my home surrounded by nice things I take care of, cleanliness, & order. But let me be clear. My house is no show place. I'm not a slave to it. You don't walk in & feel like you can't sit on the furniture, either because it's bad or too clean. It's like when I had kids, who had toys out during the day. Only my furry kids don't know how to put their toys away & I only do it when I vacuum. (Because their pleasure is my pleasure & cats like things to stay where they put them.) I keep a nice house but it doesn't consume me & it's comfortable for both the inhabitants & visitors.

If you absolutely don't have a clue how to move forward now that you've determined what you want in your life, just take any action at all. But be sure to include setting your intent, writing your "I Am" & manifestation statements, calling on your angels & Creator, & keeping your personal house & life in order, including care of self. If you do those things faithfully & consistently (2 different things - think about it) & you truly don't know what else to do to get where you want to go, you'll definitely be directed in the next steps. The doors will begin to open, & your job then becomes to recognize the opportunities & go for them. That's where "I Am" statements can be so important, because they erase the doubts that could keep you from taking advantage of opportunities, if properly written. And I've given you ample examples of properly written ones in previous blogs. You can identify them because "I Am" is usually in the title - you can check the archives.