Merely Surviving vs. Thriving - What Creator Wants for Us

This is being written on Thursday & I just had an example of being open to change, being in the flow. Earlier my neighbor & friend asked me if I wanted to go to a produce stand with her & I said I'd love to but "no." I was in work mode & didn't want to spend money either. Then she called me while I was on what is now the 3rd paragraph here, asked me again. (Earlier it was via text.) I could tell she really wanted me to go so I asked her about that, opened my mind. She didn't say she had a message for me, just said she really wanted company. I know she's a powerful healer & very open to messages so I went. (Sandra Davis, the one who did psychic surgery on me.) What I found was that I needed the break, & something profound happened while I was with her. We bought a few plants & when we got back she showed me some things she'd just planted. I felt a deep connection to her in that moment. It was relaxing for me & affirming. I know that we deeply connect sometimes, & that it's beneficial for me. She knows me well & senses me very well, so is often a great source of messages & insights. Through her I've learned of my need to work in community, & to connect to the earth. I've learned something vital about my nature. This is something I'm still processing. I also saw my yard from a new perspective. I have a rose bush that's blooming & you can't see it from my side. I just went out there & saw how much tending it needs, now before it's too late. And I was called to weed & plant & connect with the land I live on, put down my roots. All this is key for healing in my body & life. She's said it in so many words & I've had the message from somewhere else too. It will help me not worry about whether I can stay here, for one thing. Also, a vital part of me is the gardener, & this will help me connect to my self more fully. It's part of the key to unlocking the healing energy I need in my body & to move forward. All this just because I paid attention to the prompting & went for a short drive. 

Creator, whom I call Father God, wants us to thrive rather than simply survive. He wants us to have true happiness, fulfillment, contentment, joy, peace, harmony, abundant blessings & prosperity. He has put the angels at our disposal to help us, given us messages & signs, taught & led us.

When I did the angel card reading on myself this past Saturday I came across some angel work that I added to what I was already doing. Thank you again, Doreen Virtue. This is straight from the book that goes with the cards I was using. "Dear God & the angels, thank you for helping me see myself as you see me - through the eyes of love. Thank you for honoring & respecting me - please guide me to do the same for myself, & grant me the courage to speak up on my own behalf. I ask for your protection in all of my relationships so that I am surrounded by loving & kind people, in harmony & peace." I recommend this prayer for all of you who ever have any issues with putting others first too much or not feeling worthy or any self esteem issues!

Long ago I wrote out my angel work, in December. I kept getting Doreen's "Law of Attraction" card & paid attention. I've changed the prayer a little, & continue with it because my life is constantly changing & evolving. It is: "Archangels Raguel & Chamuel, thank you for helping me stay true to myself as I experience the important changes in my life. I ask for your complete & thorough assistance in sorting through relationships, my career, & other areas where my tastes are changing & my life is changing. Please guide me through these changes with grace, compassion, & integrity so that everyone involved is blessed. Thank you." This helps me every day. Every day is different for me. Remember, I start my day by telling God that I give my self, my life, & my day to Him to do with as He will, to guide & lead & direct. And He does. My days absolutely never go as I expect them to any more. I mean, wow! Every day is quite an adventure because I've come to accept & expect this totally. I've never been a morning person so I used to be very slow to face the day, & it used to be grim. Now it's exciting because I never know what's coming. Some of it can be uncomfortable but it truly is new & different every day & so full of possibilities that I usually easily handle whatever happens. Saying this prayer daily helps me navigate, grounds me, assures me that only the highest good will come from the day's events, for myself & others.

I recently listed my new "I Am" statements for you, thanks to the teleconference on thriving instead of just surviving by Cari Murphy. There are some that are especially good to help you navigate change & have faith. My favorite is: "I am succeeding on my personal journey to wholeness & I'm doing it at the rate & speed that is perfect for my personal spiritual evolution." "Life is unfolding as it should, in the best time frame for my greatest good." The next 2 speak to what I'm saying about what God wants for us. "I was created to thrive & succeed rather than struggle. I can & do call upon angels instead of struggling, doing it all my way & on my own." "Abundance is the natural state of the universe & I am abundant & in the flow, grateful for all that is in my life." Here are some others that are very important. "I use my free will to rise above all of life's challenges." "I am releasing all resistance to life's challenges, living in the flow of awesome abundance, prosperity, joy, fulfillment, & success." "I am grateful for all this is in my life. I learn, grow, & heal from all of it."

I consider these last 2 to be the most important of all. Of #1 importance: "I always take full responsibility & accountability for my energy, thoughts, emotions, & the quality of my life." I've recently talked with someone who is in a failing relationship because the spouse refuses to take this responsibility, has put it off on the partner. Person #1 has made person #2 miserable & doomed the marriage in this way. Person #1 uses blame to try to make #2 take care of him/her. One of the results is that person #2 has had his/her self-image very harmed, has worked so hard to take care of the other that his/her needs have suffered to the crisis point, & has had several rough years of walking on egg shells. Person #1 didn't benefit from the self sacrifices of person #2 because it never works out that way. The only way to feel worthy, loved, that you measure up or matter, is to find it within. The only way to get there is accountability & taking responsibility. No one else can make you feel anything at all! We've all heard, "You make me so angry." Wrong! The other person may be the trigger but no one makes you feel or do anything. Boy do enlightened abuse victims know that! And trying to put the responsibility off on another is ultimately abusive toward that person. Enough soap box. Here's the other important one: "I am one with the Universe & I open myself to the Divine flow of all that is & the blessings all around me."

Shake, Rattle, & Roll

Excuse me. I have music running through my head all the time now, a sound track playing that is actually starting to get a little annoying at times. I've had to resort to radio because then I hear it from without instead of within. It's like the headache I've had for days now. It's there in the background & sometimes I'm aware & sometimes I'm not. I recall that when I was a teen & in my early twenties, before "the music died," it was like this. So I figure another piece of my self is being restored. But I'm not used to it yet hence the annoyance. Also, having any kind of buzz in your head all the time - headache or music or conversations, can be disconcerting. I used to have full two-way conversations in there too, things I wished I'd said or anticipated saying or wouldn't ever get the chance to say. Or things I was afraid would be said. I only tell you all this because I know I'm not the only one.

"Shake, Rattle, & Roll" is a very old song & that title describes 2012. This is a year of great transition for all of us. New energies are rolling in, coming in waves. The old is falling away, & it can be very disconcerting & downright painful. It seems like everyone I know is in transition right now, with the old falling away mostly at this point. Jobs are ending, living situations changing, relationships ending. It can be hard on even the most enlightened & aware. Atmospherically, things are changing too. Weather patterns are unpredictable & very different. It's all around us in every way, & only going to be more so as the year progresses. But "progresses" is the right word here. Because this truly is all progress.

It really hurts to give up the old that we know before the new comes into our lives. It's very hard to keep a sense of adventure but that's the best way to get through all of this. I understand that all the changes will lead to positive results. If you've ever watched adventure movies, you know it's not all "good." The main characters have to go through a lot of hardship during the adventure & that's the way it is for all of us. Change is never easy, but staying in the flow really helps. Think of flow, picture yourself in a river, in the middle where the currents are powerful. I used to paddle a canoe up & down a river. The muscles in my arms would burn after awhile of paddling upstream because I was going against the strong current, resisting it, trying to overcome it. Many of you are doing that in your lives now. You're trying to overcome circumstances as these changes occur, resisting the progress because you aren't seeing it as such. Once we turned the canoe around & were in the flow of the current rather than working against it, what a glorious ride it was! Instead of working hard to overcome, we were able to enjoy the beauty all around us - the sound of the water on the canoe, the sights all around us, all the pleasures. As I understand the concept of "being in the flow" very well. Dropping the resistance makes all the difference to our perspective & abilities to cope.

Change is an unavoidable part of life, whether we see it or want it or not. Since you started reading this, time has past & changes have been made. You may have learned a new perspective or a new way to explain things to yourself or others. The act of reading these words has made at least a small change in your brain pattern, because that's a physical law of our brains. Your body is several minutes older. The grass has grown an imperceptible amount. The sun has moved a little on your horizon. What you do about change is a matter of choice & completely within your control. We can control our responses as well as our actions. We can set intent & program ourselves to flow with change so that our reactions serve us well.

I have made the choice to accept all change as good, an adventure. I actually get excited, & I've reprogrammed my thinking with faith. Sometimes I react negatively. The other day the kitchen light again wouldn't come on & I was annoyed instead of grateful. Sometimes I just get tired of dealing with this stuff. I feel like I don't need a reminder to control my own energy, but apparently I did. I admit to being annoyed with this headache & the music playing in my head seemingly constantly. I understand that I need to be getting a little more sleep than I am & be taking better care of myself. I know this will help me handle everything better. My normal state is to be in the flow, to look for the meaning in every little thing that happens out of the ordinary. Because I know now that these things don't just "happen" in my life. I pay attention now & therefore am in pretty good control of my responses, thoughts, & actions. Each day is an adventure for me because I'm in the flow & accept all that comes, only looking for the meaning & message rather than fighting it. I kind of welcome these things usually, or at least quickly look for the meaning rather than getting upset & resisting. And I use all the resources available to me to help me do all this. I work with the angels & God, manifestation statements & "I Am" statements.

Let me assure you that change is good, even if it's uncomfortable. It's the natural order of the universe. Birth, life, death, rebirth. Seasons change, sap slows in the fall, tree's lose their leaves, plants die, but perennials re-bloom in spring. I'm an avid gardener & was just looking at my miniature pansies (violas), thinking about this blog. Once the blossoms die I'll go out & "dead head" them. That means I'll pluck off the dead blossoms so it blooms again. That's what we need to be doing in our lives - dead heading. If we don't, the Universe has to do it for us, & that's more uncomfortable. We have to be releasing the old that no longer serves us & removing it from our lives, so the new can blossom & come in. Tomorrow, tools for helping, & what Creator really wants for us & our lives.

Go For It! - Speak Up For Yourself, Set Intent

I've recently been working with my daughter on very serious life issues. One of them is worthiness. Poor thing, she is so my daughter! She puts the wellbeing & happiness of others before her own, feels she has to do this. Lately we've had some very long phone conversations about this, as well as "chats" on Facebook, & some emails. In one conversation I was telling her that it's right to set her intent for what she needs to thrive & she asked, with deep pain in her heart, "But what about taking away the happiness of someone else if I do that?" I had to explain to her that those closest to us are not truly happy if we're not, especially at our expense. She saw it as her happiness or the other person's, but not that both could be achieved. I pointed out that each person is responsible for his or her own happiness. And that going for her own is not at the expense of someone else's when all you're doing is setting intent for happiness & what you need. If you are general about it - for example, request true happiness from the Universe, that encompasses the happiness & needs of those closest to you. The Universe never delivers at the expense of others & always delivers. So what happens if you really set your intent for happiness & the others around you don't? You get what you need & they don't! And that's not what you did, it's what they didn't do. What happens if none of you set your intent for happiness? No one gets it & nothing changes for the better. So if you set your intent, at least you get what you need & you're doing what you're supposed to do. You can't control what they do!

In all ways I'm the right person to guide her in this. I know her better than anyone else. I know her entire history. And I've fought the same demons she is, exactly. If you regularly read my blog you see that I still have trouble putting my needs first, & the barely surviving vs. thriving she talked about has been a recent theme for me too. I'm still thinking about what she said about me being a master of control of myself. When she agreed to me saying that, she was so emphatic that I had to ask why. She said I've always done the "right thing" no matter the cost to me - in my marriages & toward my mother for example. I control my thoughts, emotions, & needs in order to keep doing this. I know somewhere in this there's some profound truth I need to better understand but it hasn't come to me yet. So her words have stuck with me. Sometimes I tell you that I eventually learn all I need to, get all the messages I need to. This is a great example of that "eventually." It doesn't always come right away, but it always does come.

She started out by asking me how one knows how much they need to survive, so she could figure out what to settle for. But like me, she's rather tired of just barely surviving. So I started talking with her about manifestation statements. Now, she reads my blog every day so she should know all this without being told now. But she wasn't ready before. Messages only sink in when we're ready for them. It's funny to me how many messages from the past, including Bible verses, have taken on new meaning for me in the past 19 months. Things I thought I knew & understood are finally crystal clear & real for me, alive in ways they never were before. I started her with some manifestation statements & then we'll do the "I Am"s, which is what she needs most. I'll also give her information on specific angels to work with. This is the same as I've offered to do with each of you in the life coaching phase but no one has gotten to the point that they've asked me for it. Most of you are told to write your manifestation statements & then get back to me with them for editing or tweaking as needed. But I actually wrote a few for my daughter to start with. She said one of them made her cry, in an email. And this is what I wrote back to her: "The tears are good, a release as part of changing your life. You're releasing old pain & coming into the new. This will help you transform your expectations & therefore your life. It is entirely safe to do this. You are opening yourself to Universal peace, love, happiness, wholeness, all blessings. Unless you greatly altered what I wrote, you have left entire room for the universe to fill in the details in the best way possible for you & those whose lives touch yours. There's nothing selfish in this! You are not asking for happiness at the expense of others in this way, only working on getting your own needs met, as you're supposed to do. It's the responsibility of each of us to realize that we are worthy & deserving, & that's what this is about. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness & needs no matter what relationships we're in with whom. It's a private journey to wholeness."

I don't have the statements I wrote for her at this point. I'll have to get her to send them to me so I can give them to you, because I know many of you have this same problem & they were very good. I'll also share the "I Am" statements I help her write, but not whichever ones that are deeply personal that she writes for herself. The manifestation statements set intent that will transform your life. The "I Am" statements set intent to change yourself, your beliefs about yourself & life, your outlook. So they're both very important. The angel work calls in God's messengers & helpers to help you do it all. So it's all very important. As I do with all of you, this will come about in phases so she's not overwhelmed, & neither am I. There's a lot I put into this for someone. There's a lot for the person to think about, a lot of self-examination, so it's a process not to be rushed. Once I have all that done, I'll share.

More on Progress, New Experiences

I've been holding back on writing some of my new experiences because I'm not sure of the belief levels of those who read this blog. I didn't want to sound too weird, to lose anyone. Then I was reading an article from the Oprah magazine, December 2011 (a bit behind on magazines), & it gave me a way to explain this stuff. Of course, as always these days, it came right when I needed it, between yesterday's posting & today's. It's an article on spiritual experiences from a scientific viewpoint. You all have heard "right brained" vs. "left brained." The left hemisphere of our brains is where we do our logical thinking & calculations, & men are known to be more left brained. The left hemisphere is also the side that processes language. The right hemisphere is more associated with intuitive & subjective thinking, connects us to the "bigger picture & the present moment, where there are no boundaries & you're a part of it all." At the Laurentian University in Ontario, Canada, a cognitive neuroscience researcher, Michael Persinger, PhD, has worked with a device to induce right brain experiences & studied the results. The person writing the article asked him if this ability to induce experiences means the brain makes up the responses. He said, "It just tells you that if the brain is appropriately stimulated, you can have important experiences, with powerful healing effects." He says the brain is hard-wired for transcendent experiences & a sense of connectedness. He thinks it's part of our evolution & adaptation. The article goes on to tell you how to open up your mind to transcendent experiences. One is to practice mirror writing. You compose words from right to left, reversing the letters. It says moving your hind in this novel way requires activity in the right hemisphere. Another is to sing. It doesn't matter whether you're singing well, only that you are. That & other creative endeavors helps fire the right brain. They also suggest thinking sideways, using "lateral thinking puzzles," & give an example of problems that require examination from unexpected angles. One is to put 5 toothpicks on a flat surface so they form the number 5. Then, without adding any, make the number 16. This is one you really have to work at.

I used to be about 60/40 or so as far as right brained/left brained, in that order. My natural state is to be more right brained but I've had to be the functioning adult & take care of myself so much in my life that I really had to develop those left brain capabilities. I'm not sure what the percentage is now. I believe it varies every single day at this point, which hemisphere I function most in. But what I see happening, now that I think of it in these terms, is that I'm truly developing my right brain capabilities, intentionally. The experiences I'm having are available to most of us, all those of us who have a fully functioning right hemisphere. I can now do almost everything I once thought was cool or wanted to do! About the only things I haven't done are real past life regression work, shape shifting, journeying, or play with fairies. But over the weekend I did 4 readings for people, including myself. I do better readings for others than I do with myself sometimes, because I get impatient when I don't get the message I want or think I should, or it doesn't seem clear to me. Then, the next day, I go back & review the cards because I realize the message is there & I then really get it. It's much easier to read someone else. Sunday the 2 people I read were asking me how I do it, whether I get messages or a feeling. It's all of the above. I'm given to know the meaning of the cards. That's psychic ability, & mine is growing all the time. A lot of that was in yesterday's blog. I'm in tune with the energy of this area now, crystals, people, animals, my departed loves ones, angels, my guides, God, & Jesus. I receive messages pretty much every day now. I can readily & easily connect with any animal who wishes me to. The list goes on. I used to want to be like Sonya Fitzpatrick, the Pet Psychic from the Animal Planet shows. She is amazing! Her energy is so beautiful! I felt it just from watching her on TV over time. Then I actually got to speak with her 3 times! Around the time I got to talk with her I was told I'd surpass her work! And I see it coming now, see my gifts unfolding. In these things I feel so greatly blessed. God gives us these powerful urges to be something more than we are or do something more than we are at this point. Whatever powerful urge you feel, go for it! It's there for a reason so set your intent. It's taken me 19 months to get to this point & in other ways, 56 years. But let's go back to the last 19 months. The 19 months passed & would, with or without this. And it's not like suddenly, 19 months later this has all popped out. The journey & discoveries along the way have been amazing, & it's not over yet. And it all unfolds in the proper time. You can't force it. All you can do is set your intent & work toward it in every way presented. All the rest is what the Universe (God, angels, etc.) then do. The timing is perfect & we can't know it. So don't be upset or worried if you think you should have started before now or should be further along than you are. The simple answer to that is "NO." There are none of those dirty little "shoulds" here. You can have faith that it's unfolding as it is supposed to.

Now I have to tell you what happened to me yesterday. I went to the home of my mentor & he showed me a plant that he's calling a Reiki plant. It's a very unusual begonia called escargot & has curled & swirling leaves that are huge. I don't even know if it every gets blossoms. I don't care. The energy of the plant is amazing! It was hidden among others but when he pointed it out to me I immediately felt the energy & fell in love with the plant, asked him to get me some next time he saw them. We then walked around his lawn & experienced the different plants, talked about their energy & how they were doing in their locations, etc. He moved there in October so this is his first spring & he's learning the plantings & planning. Just after that I was standing on his deck in front of a massive fur tree. Next thing I knew, that tree was pouring love onto me. He has lots of new growth & he invited me to come pet him. He drew me in, drew me toward him. I knew how soft those tufts of new growth would be, could feel them in my hands before I went to him. (I say him because that's my orientation.) There was a powerful connection & bonding when I touched him. It was as if the tree was Spirit, which it is. He told me proudly that he was originally a Christmas tree, planted out there after the season. I could have stayed there with him, happily. I could have sat underneath his branches & meditated, just communed, abiding in that love. Instead, I told him I'd be back when I could & went to talk with my friend. While talking, I realized this wasn't my first tree experience. I had entirely forgotten that I had a relationship with an ironwood tree when I was in my late teens. I used to hug that tree & lay my cheek against his bark, which is entirely smooth & unbroken. And I used to feel the love from that tree. Later I thought about it & realized that at that time, I was entirely connected with Jesus. That was during the time when I would have long nightly give & take talks with Him. I was entirely spiritually open during that time.

Later my friend & I went to 2 nurseries, & there the plants started speaking to my heart, certain ones clearly drawing me to them. I bought 2 of them. One was so strong that he called to me from a group of others. Now he's on my porch & I feel him whenever I go outside, am basking in his presence. The other was a bit more subtle. I've never had that happen before. I resisted buying one of my favorite flowers, instead bought the 2 that called me. At the next nursery were the begonias. I was going to leave with just one but 2 just wouldn't let me go. They were in a group & all of them were speaking to my heart but I was trying to just listen to the strongest one & 2 wouldn't let me put them back, insisted on going with me. They will work together when I do my healing work on myself & others, & are obviously male & female energies. I can tell from their spread vs. height. Again, entirely new experiences for me. Later I figured out what must have happened. When I saw the man's begonia, it must have activated me because all else happened after that, & they are very magical plants with very powerful energy. And now I have 2 of them in my home! They're in separate pots & right now I have 1 in my bedroom & 1 in the Reiki healing room. I can move them as I like, put both of them in my bedroom or in the healing room as needed, & will. I can hardly wait to see what happens now that they're here & I'm activated. But I do know that I'm to work more with plant energy for healing than I have been in the past, to strengthen my connection, & I've been working toward that in my heart & intent, my angel work. I'm there with essential oils but the yearning has always been in me toward herbalism. I'm very excited about this new unfolding! My life is so very exciting & full because of things like that. It's ever fresh & new because of these unfoldings. I never know what will happen next on any given day, & my life has become a glorious & almost daily new adventure, especially now that the energies of spring are unfolding.

Prayer Life Transformed - Spiritual Progress

I was attuned to Reiki I at the beginning of October 2010, so that was 19 months ago. The guy who told me about Reiki "warned" me that it would entirely change my life, especially starting with my second attunement. It's Sunday, I'll post this tomorrow. This past week has been a monumental transformation week for me, & the energies of the brightest full moon has been wonderful over the weekend. Yesterday I took full advantage of it, to meditate, process, receive messages.

There is much in my life & self that's bigger than me, bigger than I can handle on my own. My most beloved daughter & I have been having discussions about this during the past week. I attuned her to Reiki I last October, & I see the openings & changes happening within her too as a result. I'm so thrilled. For some years now we've been able to really share with each other & now we have the spiritual too, & it's humbling & awesome to be guiding her! It's profound.

We were talking last week about some feelings I've been controlling & stuffing for many years now. I know that I'm a master at that but when she so agreed with me, I asked her to explain & got new perspective. She was telling me that I'm one who always tries to do what's right in all areas of my life, in all ways, toward all others, in all situations. So I have stuffed many of my needs & feelings in the process - managed them, controlled them & myself, in an effort to do no harm & put others & duty first. I'm still sitting with that one. While it's admirable, it's also extremely significant for my life & not entirely healthy. In fact, it's often fairly unhealthy. I need better balance in this. I realize it's one of my defining traits, one I really need to examine.

As I said, I've been controlling & stuffing some feelings for many years now, & they emerged fully a week ago with great insight, a new perspective after 21 years! I realized that I have to do something about a huge piece of unfinished business here rather than continue to stuff, control, & manage my feelings. I realized that my heart chakra has been cleared by releasing & handling these feelings, but I had to figure out what to then do with them. I realized that I needed to just daily give them to God, & it immediately transformed my prayer life because I've started now doing that with all my most beloved ones. I'll confess that my prayer life had become rather routine. I have a prayer list in my head that I actually "see," so I don't forget anyone. I've been praying for these people in order for quite a long time now, adding people as needed. So my list goes down one column, has a second, & has people written in between the columns as they were added. Truly, I worked my list daily that way! I no longer do that.

I have feelings for people that are out of my control. Some are bigger than me by far. Some are too complex for me. I can't directly do anything about or for any of these people. Examples are my mother & my most recent ex, but there's also huge love for several people who aren't in my life any more, & I can't do anything to change that, bring them back in. So I've started giving that love to God, who, after all, is the Source of that Love. I give it to Him for the highest good He can do for that person, & for whatever healing I need in this. It's transformed my prayer life because my prayers are now not at all routine & so heart centered as to involve my entire, deepest heart. My prayer time is now profound & deeply moving for me. I can hardly wait to see what's going to happen as a result, in their lives & mine, & what experiences I'm going to have from this!

Yesterday I did an angel oracle card reading for myself for the first time in a long time. I used Doreen Virtue's Archangel Michael deck & received some valuable new messages & prayers to Michael & other angels. Today I wrote them out & uttered them for the first time. And for the first time, I held my new radio clear quartz crystal to my heart as I did my work aloud - "I Am" statements, manifestation statements, & my angel prayers (the angel work I always mention). I've come so far in all this too. A few months ago I doubted the power of healing crystals because I just wasn't feeling it. Then a friend took me to one of the Carnegie museums, that has a room full of them. I spent about 45 minutes there & so many of them are healing crystals that I was flying by the time I left the room. So I no longer doubted, & ended up being more sensitized afterwards. I purposely drank in the healing energy every time I stood looking at one of the healing crystals, so the intent was there too. Then my BFF Pam sent me a very special radio quartz crystal & I could feel the power as soon as I touched it. She was "told" this was the one for me & boy is it! I put it in the sun for 24 hours to charge it & use it now in my card readings & Reiki & it's totally magnified my efforts.

Not only am I now more sensitized to crystals, but I've seen my psychic gifts & talents opening & progressing hugely lately, one experience after another. Yesterday I was shown a photo of a dog in need of emotional healing. When I do Distance Reiki on an animal, I like to see a photo first so I can fix the image in my mind & heart. Then when I go to do Reiki, I connect with the animal & communicate. This time, after a moment of concentration & looking into the eyes of the dog in the photo, I totally connected! The dog gave me a full emotional profile of his needs, which I could translate as he "spoke" to me. When I talk of speaking with animals, that's how the communication goes. They speak in pictures & emotional messages that I then have to translate into English. Although when they want to communicate with their people through me, it's given to me straight in English so it's an accurate message of what the animal wishes to say. Through my angel work today & the ease with which I'm getting messages & visions these days, I see that a whole world is opening to me swiftly & fully, & I'm thrilled. The other day I visited with my beloved Grandpa, who died in 1985. I almost saw him in physical form. His height was there in relationship with mine, he "spoke" with me (more like the dog did than words), & then he held me in his arms & I almost physically felt it. Then Grandma joined us in a group hug. When I first moved here, I wasn't aware of the energies of this place, but I'm gaining that awareness too. I'm receiving visions & messages from my angels & guides too, in response to my requests for greater relationship with them. All the things I longed for as I learned they were possible, early in this journey after my first attunement, is coming to me now & it's glorious.

Free Will vs. Destiny

This question comes up a lot too. We are all created with free will. So how much does God intervene on our behalf? What about the angels? How much of our lives is destiny vs. us exercising our free will?

I have been told & firmly believe that the angels will not intervene on our behalf unless we ask them. I've been told that they are bound by God to stay out of it unless we ask, but that they're there for whatever we need when we need & ask them. I've also been told that there are specific angels for specific things. I believe all of this. I work with specific angels every day. I grew up thinking that guardian angels were a warm & comforting concept but I was wistful, thinking if they exist, I didn't have one. Now I know better. I know I have a full council of angels, teachers, & guides. Some are my dearly departed, like my beloved grandparents. Others have never walked the earth. These are angels. We also have teachers & guides & they have walked the earth. Sometimes we think of our departed loved ones as angels in heaven looking down on us, watching out for us. But by definition, "angel" were never on earth. Our departed are our teachers or guides. We also each have at least one guide assigned to us for every day things, someone who once walked the earth. Usually it's not someone you walked the earth with this time, like my grandparents. I fully believe in reincarnation & I believe in some instances if not all, we may have incarnated with our daily guide in at least one lifetime. I won't swear to that because I'm not really sure, haven't really cared. I don't actually have a real feel for Ana, my daily guide. I'm so connected to some others in my life, angels, my departed grandparents & such, that Ana & I are barely acquainted in my awareness.

And that brings me to the question of destiny. I believe that most people on earth in this incarnation are here for experience life & progress in their spiritual evolution & journey. I believe that younger souls are simply here for the experience even more than spiritual evolution. Older souls who still have spiritual progress & learning to make, or karma to work out, are here for that. These older souls have come with a set purpose in their spirits, have made a blueprint before they were born for what they'd like to accomplish & learn in this life. I'll come back to them later.

There's a lot of people on earth now who are very old souls who have come for earth mission. For them, it's less about their spiritual journey or karma & more about what they came to do on earth as an emissary of God, to mankind. All of these people preplanned their lives - who they would be born to for what experience & result, how long they'd live, who they'd partner with, what they'd do, & more. Sylvia Browne has a lot to say about this in one of her books or more. I can't think of the title right now & don't feel like going to look it up, especially since I'm many hours late writing & posting this. (Had to get a grant finished & turned in today & started the day with way too much still to do on it. I apologize.) But if you want to know what book, just post a comment here or on Facebook & I'll look it up for you. The people in this category have been talked about a lot recently & there are many labels including Indigo Child, Earth Angel, & Lightworker. This encompasses all of them, & I haven't named every category labeled. All of these people are born as humans, part of the 3rd Dimensional human condition with free will. All quickly forget, after birth & assimilation into the world, where they came from & what they're to do. All are immersed in the struggle for love, warmth, family, security, etc. But all are here for a purpose, & carry an urge inside them they don't understand for many years. They are therefore more open to messages & promptings, part of them always seeking, wanting to go about God's business. Many don't think of Him as God or as a male at all. Please understand that's just my chosen language. They all have free will & make choices, but are more open to & subject to the guidance toward their path & mission. Now I'll say I fall into this category, someone with a mission, because I'm tired of the awkwardness of saying "they" instead of "we." I'm not sure how much of my life as been determined by exercise of my free will & what I preplanned. Certainly it looks like I've made a whole lot of really bad choices in my life. Yet I am who I am today by cumulative effect of these choices, in part. And I've learned & grown from all of them. In fact, I've learned way more from the "bad" stuff than the happy stuff. So I don't know to what degree my free will choices have determined my past & current life vs. what I preplanned. I only know it really doesn't matter. All that matters if where I am now & where I'm going. And I do know that now that I'm enlightened to my path (working for God), the messages & information I need to do that come as I need them. I know that I now consciously learn from everything in my life, including others, things I read & encounter, & all the "problems" or pain in my life. It is my intent to do the work I contracted to do, so not only am I open to the messages & lessons, I seek them. Whenever anything seems to happen, I realize that there's a message there & look for it. I use my free will now to learn all I can, all I need to equip me for my work & further it.

Back to the older souls I mentioned at the end of paragraph 3. I believe their reality, free will vs. destiny, lies somewhere between the young souls & those mentioned in the 4th paragraph. So I believe we all have free will. I believe we all have a reason to be on earth. I believe that young souls didn't have to do a lot of detail planning before being born this time. I believe that older souls did some detailed planning because of what they wanted to accomplish to more forward in their spiritual growth cycle. And I believe that those of us on earth who contracted to work for God put a whole lot of detailed planning into our earth journey before starting it. I'm just not sure how much. I happen to know I chose my parents & the abuse, chose my last husband, although perhaps not the abuse. He had a choice & this lifetime was his last chance to work out his karma with me. He almost did it, almost changed his life once I entered it. But he was too weak willed, too entrenched in some really unhealthy things to do it despite his love for me. So I suffered the sexual abuse. Could be that part was going to happen anyway, just part of all I signed up for. Could be that God is now using what happened to help me learn a needed lesson, & I won't have to learn it another way. Could be that I contracted to learn the lessons but not how. As I've said, I don't care, don't need to know the details about these things. I know the general principles now & that's finally enough for me. I used to want to know it all - exactly who, how, & what God is, all the whys and wherefores. Now I know the essence of, & no longer feel the need to know the rest. Plus I'm learning more all the time.

Legacy, Our Footprints on Earth

We all leave footprints on earth. I often think about this. My mother left the printed word better for having been involved in it. I do that too. But she will die friendless, with only paid caretakers & no one will really mourn her greatly. Her legacy is selfishness, total self-centeredness to the Nth degree. My father left a legacy with the Portland, Oregon police force & many there. Both left children & grandchildren. I was created by them but not nurtured or really loved by them. My father left little imprint on my life except absence & need.

Today my daughter said that I welcome & accept everyone as family & that's part of what she loves about me. That was a great blessing to my heart & again started this line of thinking. I'd like that to be part of what I'm known for, part of my legacy. Part of my legacy is the 2 children I produced & raised. I did my best to teach them my values toward the care & treatment of others, the earth, those on it, animal & human. My daughter too welcomes & accepts everyone as family, & I'm very proud of that in her. It's one of the things I really love about her.

You can't create a legacy or image for yourself. You have to model it every day, throughout your life. My recent ex tried to live a persona instead of actually doing. He modeled a lie to the extent that he largely believed it. I remember him insisting to me that he was a good person, in a pleading tone, wanting me to agree. This was about a month before he looked me in the eye & told me he'd kill my mother if she called the police on him again for stealing her entire life savings! He wanted people to look up to him, to think that he was big, powerful, successful. Yet he wouldn't work! He wanted people to think he was kind & gentle, truly caring. Yet he got his only real sexual pleasure from hurting & controlling me! It was all about him & I was just the object. Now his legacy reflects him truly. He's a convicted felon who's done jail time, thanks to me. His friends & children are ashamed of him. The illusions are at least partially gone. I have no idea how he now thinks of himself, but everyone else fully sees him for what he truly is.

You can't forever hide what's in your heart & what kind of person you are. And your legacy will be just that. I try to live all day every day in alignment with my values & my self. I try to be the best me I can be at all times. I want my footprints to be gentle on this earth. I walk carefully around the cats in my home & all animals & people. I try to put out nothing but love, empathy, caring, kindness. I want to create love & family, spread unconditional love, understanding, & healing to all I meet. I want to provide the love & care that people lack. I try to fill my own needs by knowing I've filled the similar needs of others rather than trying to get what I need. I don't give love to get love. I give love to make sure others don't hurt as I have hurt. I touch to give love. I communicate to share & give. My heart is to improve the lives of others. Yes, I so want to be loved, accepted, cared for, treasured. But even more so, I want to do those things for others. Yes, I want to be healed, but I'm also very concerned about providing healing for others. I hurt for the needs of others just as I hurt for my own, & I have a great need to ease the suffering in any way I can. I also so feel this toward animals. And so every day of my life is primarily about these things.

I want to be known for the people & animals I've loved & helped. In that, I want to have made the biggest mark possible on earth. It's not that I want to be known or make a name for myself in any way. Part of me would love some fame & fortune, but not so much for or from that. I love performing, loved playing clarinet solos & leads. And who doesn't want prosperity? I'd love being an acclaimed public speaker. But again, part of that would be knowing I was getting the message out. I would love to be a published author, with a large number of book sales. That goes more back to the music performances. I'd love to sell my paintings, have them valued. Again, that speaks to valuable talent, being able to produce something from within myself that has measurable value as art. But most of all, I want to love & help, animals & people. I want my children to reflect this kind of heart & project it around them & continue my legacy. I want to spread love, healing, grace, beauty, peace, love, contentment, & fulfillment to everyone I can, everyone around me. (I had to edit that last sentence because healing is so important to me that I accidentally included it again at the end of the list.) None of this is because of how I want to be remembered - it's simply what's in my heart. And I live my life according to my heart values & promptings every day now. As I result, the payoff happens to be in the present. I get all that coming back to me & more. I reap what I sow, am greatly blessed in return. And that flow continues because I continue to give, live according to my values, & am totally grateful for all that comes to me as a result.

I believe that everything we do & say is a single drop of water on the surface of a pond. It creates only a small ripple that we can see, & soon no longer visible. But it matters. Just because we don't see much doesn't mean it's not happening. We don't see air either (no, that's not air silly, that's pollution). Every good thing you do or say creates positive reactions that can be far reaching & the same is true of every negative. You simply can't unsay something or take back words or deeds. And once you've said or done them, the effects are like & entirely out of your control. You have no idea what chain of events you've set off. So I try to always & only do & say positive things, to create the best effects. And doing good can be truly free. Anyone & everyone can do it. One thing I believe is that if you have anything positive to say, go out of your way to say it & say it immediately. With phone, Facebook, & email it's easier than ever & free or virtually so. I will sometimes get online just to do that so I do it in the moment, before I forget or lose the full emotion & thought. And when I think of something I can do for someone, I do my best to make it happen, as quickly as possible. My economic situation doesn't currently allow me to be a financial giver but there's still plenty I can & do manage to do for others. If nothing else, giving love, true listening, & care are always free.

I can't control my legacy through my children. I can't control whether people are going to like or love me, be kind or giving. I can't control what people think or say of me. So I don't concern myself with any of those things. Instead, I bask in those who treat me kindly, give me love & good attention & walk away from the rest. I do control what I can, which is my actions, reactions, & attitudes. And I live purposefully every single day, in alignment with what I believe is important. So I am actually creating my legacy, as I'm very careful of my footprints.