Crisis Survival Techniques

There's a great & long article in October 2011 Good Housekeeping magazine that outlines the strategies you need in crisis situations. I've been covering these things lately but they've been scattered through many blogs so I wanted to condense them here. So many are finding themselves in states of transition these days with jobs & relationships ending, & it's very stressful. It's a little known fact that even really good things can cause excessive stress. An article many years ago in Readers Digest turned me on to that. It was great because it even rated stressful situations. Some great ones that cause excess stress, for example, are getting married, starting a new job, moving, the birth of a baby. Many also don't know that excessive &/or long-term stress can cause all kinds of problems in our bodies, because of chemical reactions to stress. So the better we can manage our stresses the healthier we'll be.

The October 2011 article outlines a plan for handling excessively stressful times. The first step is to allow the bad news to sink in, not to pretend to yourself or others that it's all ok & you're fine. That allows the problem to get the upper hand & dominate our lives & thinking. It's a lot of what can lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is much more common outside the military (as well as within) than was previously known. This doesn't mean that you continuously dwell on the problem, however. And you need to monitor the words you use (with others & yourself) surrounding the problem. Please avoid absolutes like "always" & "never" because they limit your ability to resolve issues. Instead, acknowledge your feelings (validating yourself & your right to them) but the authors recommend you schedule appointments with yourself to worry, then problem-solve. This gives you a strategy to postpone the feelings when they hit most often, after you acknowledge them. So many of us are pros at positive thinking that we don't address or acknowledge the feelings we need to. We don't want to be putting negatives out there. But we all have them as humans. When we validate ourselves & our feelings but postpone dealing with them to a specific, structured time we take control of them without the unhealthy habit of stuffing them. In that time they suggest crying & journaling.

The next suggestion is that you accept what you can't change, acknowledge that you may not be able to control the situation. They say this helps you sidestep denial (which includes avoidance & stuffing). In the above paragraph please not that I'm not telling you to go into avoidance mode. I'm giving you a strategy to simply postpone for a set time when the feelings come in. They also say that this all helps you realize that it's ok not to be ok. You aren't crazy when you experience stress reactions like insomnia or racing thoughts. Another important point is that it's ok to feel diverse feelings like joy in the midst of crisis. It's really ok to have moments of joy when someone brings you flowers to brighten your mood, or you step out into a beautiful day & hear the birds singing. People grieving death especially experience guilt when those feelings of pleasure first come around after their loss. But humans are capable of feeling & holding many different emotions & it's normal to have good moments or even days. For perspective they suggest reprogramming the voice in your head that says you're never going to survive this. Instead, try "I'm having the thought that I'll never survive this." That acknowledges but slightly changes the thought pattern & opens the door to the idea that things can change. Again, they suggest journaling as a strategy to help. They say writing helps you hear yourself think, which is what I always find. They suggest writing down 3 words that describe what you're currently feeling, then journaling what you need for 5 minutes using the questions, "What will help me?" & "What do I need to remember?" Then you write down 3 words that describe your new state of mind.

They also suggest you activate your body's ability to heal & calm itself. As a Reiki practitioner I truly know the value of that, & highly recommend Reiki sessions for that purpose. Something you can easily do any time, anywhere is called 4 Square Breathing. You slowly take a deep breath from the bottom of your lungs to the count of 4, hold for the count of 4, release through your mouth to the count of 4, wait for the count of 4, & do it again 2 more times. They suggest self talk during this like, "Relax" or "I'm handling this." This breathing fills your bloodstream with needed oxygen to counterbalance the chemical stress reactions in your body & energize you. They also highly recommend meditation & exercise. Finally, they recommend focusing on faith, including your higher power & yourself. They emphasize the importance of realizing that good can come from any situation & that things happen for a meaning & purpose. I won't go into that further here because that's what many of my blogs are about. I always find it validating when I read the things I teach in popular magazines, & being espoused by experts!