On Vacation Until February 6 - the Why is Fun

In 2001 I went to Punxsutawney for the first time in search of groundhog photos, the day after Groundhog Day. The celebration was still going on a little, & the Inner Circle of the Groundhog Club still had members walking around town in their tuxedos & top hats, being friendly & attending events. I fell in love with the town & the festivities right then, & we decided to go back on February 2nd the next year. Every year the event grew on me (at that time we'd travel in from Hagerstown, Maryland, about a 4 hour drive depending on the weather & route). We started spending more & more time in Punxsutawney & decided to move there. Well, we ended up about 40 minutes outside of Punxsy, April of 2009 - renting a house on the edge of a farm out in the country. We needed a rental at the time, or rent with option to buy, & were ready to move, & that's where we landed. We figured from there we could scout out other locations closer in if we wanted - far easier from there than from Hagerstown.

By the time we moved I had friends in Punxsy, knew which events I wanted to attend, & eventually participated in almost everything. Therefore my time of celebrating "a large squirrel predicting the weather" as Bill Murray said in the movie, "Groundhog Day," became about 5 days of fun activities with friends. This has been my "vacation" for many years now. I know - most people go south in the winter on vacation & to the beach in the summer on vacation & I do the opposite - go north when the weather is usually at its worst. Call me crazy if you want, but let me tell you - it's the most pure fun I've ever had in my life! The people are so nice - visitors & townspeople & most especially, the Inner Circle! They put so much work into the whole thing, have it really organized, & it's all about US. They truly love to talk with the visitors & put on the most special & well organized event year after year that I've ever attended. The latest former president of the Groundhog Club says "it's not serious, it's just serious fun." How right he is!

I started the blog in April 2010 & even posted all during the holidays & while I was moving (although those were carefully selected reposts). Now I needed a brief break from it, a mental vacation. And in truth, it's so hard for me to think of anything other than Groundhog Day events starting mid January. I start to get so excited in anticipation & it's always near the forefront of my mind. So I'm taking a vacation from the blog & my work to give myself a mental break & allow myself to just enjoy my absolute favorite holiday of the year!

Letting Go, & 3 Small, Mighty Books

Last night I talked with one of my dearest & we compared notes on life now that we've dropped our crutches. We agreed that you begin to feel your feelings more, have to face & be more of your authentic self. That's actually very good, especially now, even if it's not comfortable at first. Some of us really fear that & some of us embrace it. But this is the time for it. As I've said before, this is the time for letting go of all that no longer serves us. It's time to begin being all we can be & we have to drop the crutches to do that. Many of us have crutches when we're honest with ourselves. It can be illegal substances or alcohol but more often, it's chocolate or other food, cigarettes, or prescribed drugs. It's so very easy to get a prescription for your moods! I took one for about 10 years when I started having terrible & unpredictable mood swings when my hormones started preparing for menopause, & I'm glad I did. It was so bad that I felt for days like my world was ending, & since it came at odd times I couldn't identify it as hormonal. You see, awareness is a key to coping with anything & everything & I didn't have that then. Before that, I'd only feel that way one afternoon & evening a month, always on a Tuesday because I was on the pill & therefore my cycles were regular. A few hours into it, I'd realize it was that Tuesday & give myself the night off & warn the kids to be on their best behavior. I'm sure they could tell you stories! I'd order in, make no major decisions, do as little as possible, & take care of myself. I knew despite my feelings that nothing was about to come crashing down on me & so was able to work my way out of the feelings rather than drown in them. (I ordered in because I was also extra clumsy that one day & had learned it wasn't entirely safe to use a stove. This is another example of what I keep telling you about the importance of knowing yourself & working around whatever you have to in order to keep functioning.) I went off the anti-depressant on a trial basis a few years ago when I couldn't afford my medicines, & found I no longer needed it. Now, I'm not telling you to go off prescriptions you need, but I'm asking you to identify your crutch & consider letting it go, getting rid of it. If it isn't necessary (different than comfort or wanted) for your survival or wellbeing, you'll be much better off eventually if you do let it go.

Last night I unpacked my favorite books & hung the seagull from my bedroom light fixture. As I'm unpacking my books, CDs, & DVDs I'm clearly stating my intent to live in this house as long as I wish to. My landlady recently told me she's thinking of selling to a relative, who would want to live here! I keep my favorite books in my bedroom, in my privacy, close to me. I never lend them just as I never lent out my children or cats or clarinet. I love them as if they were alive & I felt that bond with them when I unpacked them. I also felt it with the seagull, which I haven't had out since moving from Maryland. It hung from the ceiling light fixture in my bedroom all the years I single parented, & does so now again. It didn't when I was with my ex, was in my studio. Now it's in it's rightful place, part of putting my life back in order again. When I separated from my first husband my dearest friend at the time told me to read "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach, & that's one of the 3 books. I had begun to discover my true self for the first time ever, now that I was free of the oppression of my husband & my mother. Whenever I'd grow in another leap she'd say "you're growing again, Jonathan" & I'd be so pleased & proud. Eventually it got to the point where I'd tell her she owed me another Jonathan, because I saw the growth for myself. Then I realized that in every way I could give myself Jonathans. About 5 years before that, at the height of my success in Tupperware, I'd earned several unique seagull statues for business growth, so I dug those out & put them in my bedroom. I also redecorated my bedroom with a peaceful beach theme & was finally able to sleep in it (had been the marital bedroom & I had no money for new furniture or way to rearrange it). That's when I put in the peaceful sights & sounds of an aquarium & found the seagull I hang. (I lived on the edge of the Chesapeake Bay & found lots of unique, inexpensive decorations.) The other 2 books I recommend are "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint Exupery & "The Lemming Condition" by Alan Arkin. Each book is a quick read with a profound life message. I've read them multiple times. I believe each time you do, you gain more based on what you need to hear at that time, & your gained understanding of yourself & the universe since the last reading.

Power Animals, Animal Spirit Guides (Totems), Animal Messengers

Some get pretty confused by the different terms here. It's my understanding that your power animals & animal spirit guides are basically the same thing. They are animals you most have an affinity with energetically. I've been told we each have 3-4 of them with us through life, & 13 total in our lives. The other 9-10 come & go as we need them. They're a lot like guardian angels & work like angels in our lives. In fact, they're spirits that take animal form. We each have at least one guardian angel with us for life but are given other angels to help us when needed, & can call on any angel we need at any time.

Animal messengers come & go more often, to deliver messages as needed. They don't generally stay with us, just appear to us periodically until we get the message. Steven Farmer is a really good authority on animal messengers & what they're trying to tell us. His book is called Animal Spirit Guides: An Easy to Use Handbook... He also has information on your power animals/animal spirit guides. I feel Ted Andrews is a better authority on animal spirit guides, & recommend his book entitled Animal Speak.

I totally believe in animal spirit guides & messengers, & I think my belief is very logical. Most of us have felt the presence of a departed loved one. Many of us have also felt the presence of a departed pet. Many of us believe in guardian angels. Why can't that be, in addition to a guardian angel, a guardian animal? If your pet's spirit can visit or stay with you, & angels do & can, why not an unrelated animal? It's just not a stretch for me, but then, I've always had a heart for animals & paid special attention to them. I've also always communed with them on a deeper level than most have. I've studied every wild animal & bird that would stay still near me long enough, & many have. I like to joke that I have "animal magnetism," meaning that I attract wild animals & birds. Also, I believe because I've read the descriptions of my power animals & can totally relate myself to the things Ted Andrews says. Plus, when animal messengers show up, I read the messages & they totally fit. To me, that's all proof.

So how do you figure out who your animal spirit guides are? Do you regularly attract a certain animal or bird? Have a deep love for one? Really notice a specific one? If so, read what Ted Andrews has to say & see what you think. If not, try finding out the same way you would go about identifying your guardian angel. Set your intent, ask the animal to reveal himself, get help if needed (like a reading from someone you trust). It's been easy for me. I've attracted domestic cats since 1982 - they keep happening to me. So that's one. Mostly sleek black ones happen to me, & then I was told black panther is one of my animal totems. Duh! Groundhogs move to be near me wherever I live, so they're obviously one too. I'm just starting to purposefully communicate with my animal spirit guides but I've been enjoying animal messengers for nearly a year now. I find it very exciting to have animals appearing to me to give me messages. The appearances are quite creative - crossing my path or making noise at an odd time of day or place, or my favorite - coming quite close & studying me for awhile. Last spring, summer, & fall every nice day was an adventure because I didn't know what animal, insect or bird I would experience in an unusual way, but knew I probably would. I had black & gold butterflies & lightning bugs landing on me, a hummingbird that would hover in front of my face or over my head, & chipmunks & squirrels that would come quite close & stay. I also had groundhogs that would come close (for them) & watch me. To me, these are obviously not coincidences because the behaviors are outside of the norm for these animals, bugs, & birds. Believe, & explore this for yourself. It becomes a wonderful adventure & chance for regular learning. I believe animals & angels deliver the most gentle messages of all.

The Tortoise & the Hare?

The lesson given is "slow & steady wins the race" but that's not really the way the world works, especially these days. The real lesson of the story is that ego gets in the way & will cause you to lose. It's also a lesson about pacing, constancy, persistence, & that the underdog can win. In today's world, slow & steady isn't the pace for anything. Most things are "hurry up & wait." Some people punch a time clock & can't punch in too early. Those people hurry to work & then wait to be allowed to punch their time cards. That creates a lot of tension. We rush to doctor's appointments only to wait an hour in most practices. It's either that they overbook to compensate for those who are late or no shows, or they don't know how to properly schedule for how long an appointment really takes. Most government agencies & agents usually keep you waiting for a long time too, & both are very stressful. I believe overinflated ego plays into both examples of waiting - in a doctor's office & with government agencies, & I believe it's a real shame. There are no winners in either scenario.

Life these days, in the 3rd dimensional world, seems to be almost entirely predicated on "hurry up & wait." The energies seem to be flowing that way these days, with periods of calm between periods of intense energy. Sometimes messages come flowing in quickly from many sources & other times we seem to seek in vain. It's really good to stay in touch with others who are spiritually like-minded during these times. It gives you both a chance for reality checks. You usually find that however you're experiencing the energies, you aren't the only one. It's very validating. It's been very interesting for me because I haven't considered myself especially aware of energy shifts. All last year when I'd go to a Reiki Exchange or meditation several times a month, I'd hear others talk of energy shifts & their reactions. Each time I'd realize that I had been feeling it, & that it was an energy reaction rather than another factor. I don't know about you, but I have so many reasons I could be feeling slightly off or dizzy or imbalanced at any given time. For one thing, I have diabetes & used to check my blood sugar levels when I'd feel really off. When I'd find that to be normal, I'd wonder about my sinuses, my eating habits, stress level, sleep, etc. I imagine we all have a mental checklist when we're feeling "off." I'm finally learning that it's usually the energies, not me. But that too follows the ebb & flow of "hurry up & wait." In fact, it helps if you think of it as the natural ebb & flow, the pace of our current lives instead of "hurry up & wait." It's all in perspective. We can't change any of this - it's too big for us - it's become the world way & the energy shifts are universal. So we have to find ways to live with it until it changes for good. Well, you don't have to. You can continue to suffer it, but I won't be joining you in that because I choose to go with the flow rather than against it whenever possible. To do that you need to accept that you can't change it so you need to adapt & adjust your expectations. Please understand that this isn't permanent & you won't have to live with it forever. But your degree of comfort in life is dependent upon your degree of comfort with change & the pace of it & you have entire control over that. Ask God & the angels for help. Meditate, & understand what's happening, change your attitude, & learn patience. Understand it's not forever, but just something we have to cope with for now. I truly believe a new world is coming, a new earth system, a new way of being & new energies. I believe that it doesn't have to be a terribly painful transition & that we can control that by how easily we adapt to each change as well as each current norm.

How I Quit...

Remember in December I wrote about resolutions. I challenged you each to make a list of the things you wanted to overcome or change in the coming year, & told you I'd do the same. I suggested that you just change one thing at a time, that if you had 12 you just do one a month. Mine for January is probably the only one I'll share with you since they are personal habits & since I don't like them enough to be determined to change them, I don't wish to expose them to the public. However, one of my goals is to be able to be entirely exposed to the public at any time without shame or embarrassment, to be an example.

I'm going into the details of this because some of the things I did to quit will work for most addictions & bad habits. Yesterday I quit smoking after 15 months of it & 3 other attempts. Don't think it was easy because it's only been 15 months. I quit for 10 years before that, but smoked off & on, mostly on, all my adult life. Smoking is one of the hardest addictions to kick for many reasons, including: it's legal, the habit itself is addictive, nicotine is extremely addictive, it's not mind altering or mood altering when it's maintained, there's little stigma attached to it, & many others do it too. Quitting has to be planned for with 2 things in mind - rewiring your habits & handling the withdrawal from nicotine. First, you truly have to want to quit, to be motivated from within for it to work. If you're quitting because of someone else in your life, you have to make it your own reason to quit. Twelve years ago I quit because my new boyfriend (later husband) insisted. To be with him I had to. It became my motive because I was determined to be with him & I knew he was serious. Besides, I'd kind of wanted to quit for about a year by then anyway. In the past I also quit when pregnant & to honor the wishes of my first husband. Because each time I quit to benefit others more than myself, I went back to smoking when the relationships got rocky. Also, to me it was taking back my personal power. When I was abused as a kid & powerless, my abuser smoked. All my childhood I pictured myself in her place, the one in control. Since smoking was a big deal to her & she was very dramatic about it, it was part of the picture for me. So each time I went back to smoking it was a mental power play. Please hear that & determine what your power play habits are. I believe we all have them - from our parents, relationships in school, sibling relationships, romantic relationships, etc.

This time I quit because I want to be entirely healthy & healed, it doesn't fit with my life as a healer & the things I'm trying to do, & I want to be a good example. This time it's all from within, all for me & my goals for myself & my life. I set this up ahead of time with intent & knew it was working so I set the date. I'd been asking Archangel Raphael (angel of healing) & God to help me quit for about 10 days before I did. As soon as I was ready to quit & started asking for help, I started feeling bad most days with sinus headaches. It feels very much like withdrawal symptoms feel to me so I knew the actual wouldn't be much worse & knew I was being helped in advance. Last week I absolutely set my intent to quit smoking on Sunday, & renewed it every day. Sunday & today I've taken care of myself as needed, & only did the barest minimum of responsibilities. I didn't try to be social or go to church or anywhere. I kept the phone off so I wouldn't be awakened & slept all day to get through the worst period, then made sure I also slept all night. Today I took a long bath in my detox bath salts to aid in detoxing my body (supporting my effort). I did that while drinking my morning coffee (changing the habit, as my favorite cigarette was with the first cup of coffee). Another thing I'm doing to stay off them is making this public announcement. I'd really lose face if I went back to them now.

People especially revert to their habits when stressed. There's never going to be an optimal time, a no-stress time, to drop a habit. Smoking is especially one linked to stress. One way to combat stress is to do the kind of deep breathing smokers do. It's called 4 square breathing in the psychological community. You take a deep breath in to the count of 4, hold for 4, release for 4, wait for 4 & do it again. Do about 4 of them but if you really need to you can do 5-6. I don't recommend more than 6 at one time because you'll hyperventilate if you're not used to doing it. It's the way you begin any kind of meditation & relaxation exercise too, so go ahead & try meditating or deep relaxation from there. Much better for stress than smoking or just about any other habit. I'll continue supporting myself throughout this process, as long as I need to, with prayer, asking the angels (especially Archangel Raphael), taking care of myself & whatever I need at the time. To take care of myself I'll be doing the detox baths, the breathing, self Reiki, Reiki on others, helping others, avoiding others when I need to in order to avoid excess stress, take breaks when I need to, drinking lots of water, getting plenty of sleep, doing 4 square breathing. I'll be doing anything & everything I need to, paying attention to my needs at the time & doing whatever I need to for myself. I will not be substituting food, drugs, or nicotine patches or gum for cigarettes, or any other crutch. My final thought is to assure you that the angels are truly helping me. I haven't smoked for about 34 hours at this point & I know what that usually feels like vs. the way I feel today. I didn't have angelic help before because I wasn't determined or ready before. My mental state wasn't there - I was still in fear based energy. About the time I finally released myself from fear based energy I was ready to address quitting, & started asking the angels & God. I knew help was in place when smoking started to make me feel bad so I went into yesterday determined & knowing help was in place. Hopefully reading all this will help you too, no matter what you want to change.

My Days Never Go As Planned - Living in the Flow

I'm a master planner & organizer but I'm now in the business of helping people. I start each day by giving my self, my day & my life to God to do with as He will, to guide, lead, & direct. He then guides my days & I stay open to that. That truly put me in the flow, since I really mean it & live it. I used to get quite thrown off by interruptions, especially when I was really into a task. I have great powers of concentration & really "get into the zone," especially when writing a business letter, promotional material, the blog, etc. I have the words flowing & my head is ahead of my hands so an interruption makes me lose what I was going to say when I had it just right. I have to go back & recreate when interrupted. Often, the interruption would startle me out of my concentration. I'm just telling you this so you understand what a big deal it is for me to have made this kind of change in my spirit & attitude. But I understand that my life is now about helping people & animals rather than how much I accomplish in a day. It's about being responsive to the needs rather than putting together seminars & promotional materials by a certain date, meeting deadlines. I do have deadlines in my life, like everyone, but it's no longer the motivating force in my days. When interrupted by the cats or others, I'm able to stop what I'm doing with grace & be responsive. Part of how I do that is setting boundaries though. I will stop working for a need but not necessarily for a want. I have certain work times & set tasks for myself. If someone just wants to chat during times I need to get work done, I'll postpone that if it's someone who has frequent access to me. I manage my time well, & multitask when on the phone, for example. I talk hands free & use that time to do things like the dishes or litter boxes, tasks that truly don't require full concentration, rote things. I stay present with the person on the phone but get things accomplished also. My mind multitasks naturally. I've referred to that before. It's a good & bad thing. I've had to learn to organize & quiet my mind & be more mindful when doing certain things to avoid injury or mistakes. It allows me to get so much done every day & to really be a great planner, but is something that requires a lot of control & safeguards.

Part of living in a state of grace is working to my strengths & understanding & managing the pitfalls that are the flip side of every strength. It takes knowing yourself, how you work best, & how to manage yourself. You have to be willing to learn & adapt to the changes in your life & yourself. That ability to adapt helps you attain & stay in a state of grace as much as possible. No one stays in that state constantly, but some of us regularly live there. It's kind of like working from home. You aren't home 24/7 unless you're one of the rare housebound people. You go out & visit with others, shop, attend meetings, etc. But mostly you're home. It's that way with those of us who live in a state of grace. We aren't there all the time even though we live it, but that's usually where we are. And we always find the way back.

As I've said before, my life isn't right for everyone. In fact, not for most people. But some of my ways are. There is great grace in service & if you've chosen a life of service to others you have to stay in the flow & be responsive to interruptions & needs. If you are very Type A, that can be a big adjustment, & it's a gradual one. But it can be learned. Once you understand that as your role, you can look at that as your true work & respond accordingly, with grace. You can come to the place where you actually welcome the "interruptions" as opportunities to do your truest work & help. That's why I don't get ruffled when my days don't go as planned. I only loosely plan them any more, most days. I use my planner & schedule in the classes & things that need to get done but I tend more toward writing what needs to be done for the week in the top section & not assigning things by day. I then work things into my days as time allows, being mindful of deadlines & what needs to get done every day. I've found comfort in doing home maintenance (dishes, litter boxes, etc.) every day & routine tasks that don't require decisions, creativity or concentration. I used to hate such things because they took away from my creative time & "me" time, the things I really wanted to be doing. Now I've learned to enjoy them as mental breaks. I've totally changed my attitude. It helps that I get a lot of them done while taking a break from more difficult mental tasks & while on the phone. That makes them time spacers rather than what I used to consider time takers. Again, it's living in the flow, & managing myself & my time. I also make adjustments all the time. That's part of the flow. What works one day might not work in the next, or the following week. Time is fluid so we also must be. So many people make excuses about time - they never have enough to do the things to improve their lives. But we all have the same amount of time every day, so it's a matter of choice. The hoarder with a home office full of excess does have time to cure the problem despite what he says, & I told him exactly how to get out from under. Once he quits making excuses & working the plan, he'll eventually solve the problem. It won't be overnight because he didn't get there overnight. We never solve our deep seated problems in an instant. But if you don't start it will never change, whatever it is. First, you quit to reduce doing whatever it is that caused the problem in the first place, whether it be excessive papers & possessions or excessive weight. You also work to undo the problem, gradually, a little at a time, 5-6 days a week. You always give yourself "off" time, "down" time. For the hoarder, if he'd just start with his overflowing file cabinet & weed out 3 files a day, 5-6 days a week while no longer adding to the problem with excessive papers, he'd eventually dig out. If only 5 days a week that's 15 files a week! Three files is not an excessive number to assign yourself so it truly is doable. That's a lifecoaching technique. What happens is, if you start doing it & stick with it, it becomes routine. That eventually changes your behavior pattern. Then you begin to see real results & it motives you to do more each day, sometimes devote real time to it for greater results. That principle works with any & every behavior & problem from lack of exercise to overeating to over planning.

The Importance of Laughter & Play

Have you ever ended an intense argument with laughter? Been there, done that, more than once. I believe each time I'm the one who started laughing, as I realized suddenly that the intensity of the argument didn't match the seriousness of the subject. I know I did it with my first husband, probably with one of my kids too. I'm the one who started laughing. The other person was stunned for a moment, then started laughing too. I'm talking genuine, hearty laughter that's contagious. It totally breaks the tension immediately. When I could speak again of course I explained but by then the other person had totally gotten it & also realized how ridiculous the argument was. Genuine, heartfelt laughter totally breaks stress immediately & is so good for you. There are all kinds of studies & things you can read on the value of laughter but I've just given you a graphic example.

Do you have enough laughter & play in your life? I know I don't. I've really struggled with the subject of play as an adult. For one thing, I live alone & have spent most of the last 12 years largely alone. I sometimes laugh at the antics of my cats but more often I tend to get annoyed instead. There just aren't that many opportunities for genuine laughter in my life, as is true for most of us. So I suggest that we create them, & make the most of them. Last night I accidentally spit on one of my cats. She was straddling the bathroom sink as I finished brushing my teeth & it turns out I had one more spit in me. I tried to get under her but it landed on her & she took off in a flash. When I thought about it, I began laughing & realized it needed to go into today's blog. The more I thought about writing that I spit on my cat, the funnier it became to me & I made sure I really laughed about it each time. I also laugh every time I tell the story of the times she fell head first into the toilet. I love telling the story, & those who have met her (Breezy) usually hear about it. She used to almost literally fly everywhere. She was about 5 months old when I adopted her from a no-kill shelter/foster home situation, & she was the highest energy cat I've ever known. I wish I could have seen her as a little kitten! She never walked anywhere - she flew everywhere. She was so fast that you wouldn't see her until she was there - truly. Now I keep the toilet lids closed except when in use so the timing was amazing. I don't shut them out of the bathroom because they like constant access to me & I understand that they hate shut doors with me behind them. I do it as little as possible. Anyway, on 2 - 3 occasions she came flying into the bathroom & up onto the toilet, used to the lid being down. But she did this as the lid was on its way down, hit the rim, & went in head first at great speed. I'm laughing even as I write this because it's just too funny. After the 2nd or 3rd time she finally learned. Meanwhile, you've never seen a cat scramble, right itself, & get out of there as fast as she did. She's like a seal so she was dry in no time, by the time I'd see her next a few minutes later. And she certainly wasn't harmed. Hopefully you're laughing by now too. Anyway, take every opportunity you can for genuine laughter, to laugh out loud. All the years I barely cried I also barely laughed. They're linked. So laugh all you can, by yourself or with others. Make opportunities to laugh. We we laugh we don't take anything too seriously, bust stress, diffuse situations.

We also need to play as adults, & understand the difference between true play & just enjoying activities. If you like bubble baths, play with the bubbles. If you aren't playing with the bubbles it's not play, just an enjoyable activity. If you bowl in a league you probably aren't playing, you're competing. If you go out & bowl with a few friends you enjoy on occasion, you're playing if you actually like to bowl & like the friends. Anything you're doing for pure fun can be play, & many things we enjoy are not play. I love knitting but it's not play. I love painting - it's my bliss. Sometimes it's play, sometimes it's more serious. It depends on how free I feel & how attached I am to the results. It can be relaxing & rewarding either way but is only play if I'm free & not attached to results. You can play games with your kids & not really be getting self benefit from play. Same with games with your friends. Playing solitaire or Facebook games is usually not really play, but playing cards with friends can be play (or not, when serious like Bridge can be). Personally, I have several games that I can play on my own that are pure play, like a home version of Whack-A-Mole. I'm a child & I love to play. But I realize that I have very little play in my life, & that I need to include more. Usually it's hard to truly play by yourself, but you can find others online who like to play games you do. I'm going to seek those who like to play cards & games & set up get-togethers. Even shopping can be play if you do it with a great friend & the main objective is time together rather than shopping.

So get creative. I'd also like for you to share with me here ways you truly play & create reasons to laugh. If you need ideas or need help with what's play & what's not, I'd be glad to help. The universe wants us to play & laugh & be truly happy. If you put the intent out there, you'll be aided.

How to Live in a State of Grace

For the most part I live in a state of grace. When I fall from grace, I do anything & everything I can to get back there as quickly as I can because it's very uncomfortable for me. I said "fall from grace" on purpose because that's the way most people think of it but that's not really the way it is. We actually step down & away from the state of grace. It happens when we lose faith or become disturbed by circumstances, something that happens. Being in a state of grace means so much more than being right with God. It means being in the flow with the universe rather than trying to force things, worrying, being fearful. Being in a state of grace means you go with the flow, "roll with the punches." It means you understand that you are cared for more than you can possibly realize - by God, the angels, etc. It's taking all the "bad" things that happen as a lesson & opportunity, realizing that nothing can happen to you if you're in the flow that's not designed to lead to your greater good. Or that can't be made to work for your greater good. Things can happen to you that aren't necessary part of the plan because everyone else on earth has free will too. I still haven't figured out how much of what happens to us at the hands of others was contracted into our life plan before we incarnated, but I know much of it was. The rest can be overcome with the help of God & the angels.

The way to get into the flow is fairly simple, although people often make it hard for themselves. I've done it by learning all I can, & truly believing what I've learned because it resonates within my heart & soul. I truly believe God loves me, & that the angels are there to help me if I just ask. I've seen ample evidence of it too. Read yesterday's blog if you haven't, & re-read it if you don't remember it. It was truly a miracle that I wasn't seriously hurt when I fell off the step ladder holding a power drill up! It's truly a miracle that I was able to rent this house. It was a miracle of manifestation that the kitty grass seed started growing when I absolutely set my intent to provide it for them, even though I wasn't able to find the seed I needed that day. (Usually the grass sprouts in a few days & I had planted this about 10 days ago. It clearly wasn't sprouting despite the fact that I kept it fully watered & keep hoping, checking on it. It only worked after I clearly & firmly set my intent.)

The things necessary to get into the flow, to achieve living in a state of grace are: learning, true belief, recognizing miracles & supply as such, true gratitude for even the smallest graces (miracles, manifestations, gifts), doing your part (the daily work set before you), asking God & the angels for help when you need it & then trusting that they'll help, helping others, doing the work on yourself that you need to do, taking good care of yourself, & daily devotions. Laughter & playing also help, & I'll talk about that tomorrow. Notice I said "even the smallest graces," & what graces are. That should help you define what is meant by a state of grace. When you're in a state of grace, in the flow, there are regular miracles, manifestations, & gifts that come your way as well as messages of guidance, reassurance, & learning. That's exactly what it is, what it means. I've talked about your daily work before - clean out the tub, take out the trash before it overflows, do all the big & small things that present themselves so they don't become a burden on you. There's grace in living in the moment & taking care of yourself & your surroundings. Helping others through prayer & giving of your heart & talents matters. Doing the work on yourself is about working on your issues, healing from your past, etc. And I've covered daily devotions extensively before. Living in a state of grace is a matter of attitude & gratitude. Your attitude toward the things in your life totally matters. Interruptions, problems, not feeling well, all the big & little things that happen don't have to pull you out of a state of grace if you flow with them, learn from them, & accept them as part of life rather than with the attitude that "everything happens to me" or that things or forces work against you. That fall from the ladder reminded me that I tend to do too much at once, don't quit before I get over tired. It was also a lesson in being more careful, more mindful, staying in the moment. I try so hard to be mindful & stay in the moment & also to not overdo, but those are some of my character traits that I'll need to continue to work on. This was a medium reminder. I'll take a gentle to medium reminder any day because I've had those times when I wasn't getting the message & had to be "hit upside the head with a brick" as Oprah says.

Little Miracles, Setting Intent, Gratitude

I'm going through a rough patch right now. Please don't think from this blog that I don't have problems of my own. I had a mild cold for about a week (first one in many years), am having a little stomach trouble, my daily sinus headaches have returned, the electricity is going out multiple times a day in the house I'm renting & I'm waiting for a repair person to come in, & I fell off the top of a step ladder a few days ago. I'm also still waiting to see the manifestation of the things I'm working on, especially financial abundance. I've been casting about, trying to get some clear messages on what to do about my finances. In other words, the same types of things others go through. Yet I'm writing here about miracles, intent, & gratitude.

Happiness is a choice we make. Every day we choose our own destiny through our intent & attitude. I always taught my kids to be happy in every little thing & notice & appreciate them, give thanks for them. If you wait for the big things to happen to be happy, you'll have very little happiness in your life. It's the same way with miracles, I'm finding. Most of us don't receive big miracles very often. Most of us don't need too, which is a cause for gratitude in itself. I want you to consider that every little thing that makes you feel happy in a day is a miracle, to see the miraculous in little things. That's a great intent to set, as is being happy every day. And then you have to follow the recognition of the little miracles with gratitude. I am grateful every time the electricity comes back on, rather than getting hung up on the fact that it keeps going out. I am so very grateful that I wasn't seriously hurt when I fell. I was holding a power drill at the time! The drill bit broke, I crashed into a hand made antique table that couldn't be recreated. The man who made it (my maternal grandfather) has been dead since 1935! I have a huge knot on my hip & a sore spot on my arm & that's it! Nothing was destroyed that when flying when I fell except the drill bit, which cost me less than $2 to replace. I could have broken my glasses or a bone or impaled myself with the drill but instead, I just have to do a little gluing & be careful how I get into bed until the bruise on my hip heals. But it gave me another chance to be grateful for the softness of my bed & the fact that I was finally able to get the exact mattress I tried to buy in 1999. At that time, the store did a bait & switch & I never got the comfort I paid for. Meanwhile, they've improved them & I love what I got. I'm all the more appreciative because of the wait. This is a really big deal & I'd quit being so grateful for it until I hurt my hip. But I'd just gotten together with my latest ex when I bought the mattress in 1999 & about the time I realized it wasn't what I ordered he broke the bed that had belonged to my grandparents. After that I lived with him & had to accommodate what he wanted in a bed. So part of my life take-over after getting rid of him was to fix that bed (he said it needed a professional repair), sell the king sized overly heavy mattress & box we'd shared, & finally get exactly what I'd wanted 11 years before. It's a miracle, & I'm grateful. I'm also grateful for the lesson I learned when I fell. I realized that whenever I do a lot on a step ladder, multiple times climbing, I end up forgetting myself & turning & stepping off without stepping down. Not only was I not really hurt when I fell, I identified an unsafe pattern of mine & have learned from it. Learning from our mistakes is another miracle.

Yesterday I set my intent to provide a steady supply of kitty grass for my cats. I've had trouble with many packages of seed bought from Petsmart, the only brand they now carry. Only a few of the many seeds would sprout each time. This time, none were sprouting. I went to 2 stores for seeds & other things, figured out where to go next when I get the opportunity. I've identified that oat grass seeds are what I seek & where to find them. After I got home, I noticed that the seeds are finally sprouting, after I'd written them off & worked to replace them. Because of my intent, & because I didn't come home with seeds, the universe did the work & got these to sprout. That means I'm able to supply the kitties while I find better seeds. It's another miracle & I'm so grateful.

I know I've written on this theme many times before but no matter what, I find people getting stuck in their lives. It bears repeating. Our part is to recognize & acknowledge the miracles in our lives & to express true gratitude. The rest of our part is to set our intent & then keep moving forward, doing what presents itself to be done. Don't worry that you aren't going in the right direction. As long as you're moving forward, it's ok. If you need to be redirected, you will. The universe is gentle in redirection unless you aren't getting the message. But you aren't going to be led & guided if you're standing still waiting. It just doesn't happen. It's like that commercial - a body in motion tends to stay in motion & a body at rest tends to stay at rest. Only if you're moving forward do things begin to happen. Don't worry that you'll make a misstep. The universe will correct any real errors & work in your favor if you set your intent & move forward. Truly! And "mistakes" are actually learning experiences, & sometimes chances for the universe to correct your path. If you are trying to be in the flow & follow your life's mission, you can't make any big mistakes, do anything that can't be fixed. That is, if your intent is pure & you're sticking to it. Just don't test it & walk in front of a bus. Just like in the Bible where Satan tried to tempt Jesus into jumping off a cliff or whatever it was & He said we aren't supposed to test God. Do your part, & a large part of your part is the "do."

Learning & Opening Since 12/1 - A Special Message for Lightworkers

My lessons have been moving at light speed since I completed my move on 11/30/11. It was starting all during the month, slowly but much faster than at any one time during the past year. However, after the move, with my proximity to the beacon that drew me to this house (my next door neighbor), it's been rapid. The last week has been practically head spinning, since I've been to a channeled healing circle Monday through Thursday. Plus I've been working with her on certain issues I've been having, working with  another close friend, & on my own. Plus I've surrounded myself with my soul family of Lightworkers & communicate with a variety of them on a revolving basis. I find that every contact helps both parties. We learn something from each other & support each other. It's also just nice to find out that we're not the only one feeling energy shifts or reacting to them. When we talk, by phone or computer, we find common ground on that. It also reminds each of us of what we need to do to navigate.

One recurring theme is patience. Every Lightworker I speak with has a sense of urgency, of "get on with it." We are each so eager for the resolution of all the transition. But I have to say & probably write a blog on the value of patience. We can't handle it all at once. I know the messages & direction have come so fast this week that I'm forgetting things & don't have time to do all I need to do to act on what's happening. I'm getting directives to write it & draw it & envision it, being told what to do to resolve a whole variety of problems all at once. Before, it would happen one at a time & be a rather drawn out process. Inspiration or messages would come gradually & usually rather gently, until the final big piece/message. So I would act on each message & do what I needed to at that point, with plenty of time to do, adjust, react. Now I truly haven't had time to keep up with the messages & directives while still coping with the visible manifestations brought about by the need for the changes, while still meeting the minimum obligations of surviving in this world (eating meals, sleeping, cleaning dishes, etc.). That's why the blogs have been late all week.

All of a sudden all the issues are coming up all at once as well as the solutions to be implemented in changes & action plans. I'm forgetting details before I can write them, not taking minimum care of myself (or only minimal & therefore not enough). Sometimes I've also felt pulled in too many directions & have lost time because I couldn't focus on what to do next, couldn't think straight, couldn't make a decision. Which is yet another blog topic. So believe me when I say I know how you feel when you want to just "get there already" but that's not really what you want. Things are beginning to move at light speed but we need to be able to keep up & the universe knows that. We truly can't handle it all at once.

One thing we all need to do is stay plugged into Source & to each other. This is going to be so important this year! Also, when you find your place, your beacon, your soul family, put yourself there just as much as you possibly can. Right now this is truly part of your job - ground yourself, root yourself (I tried to avoid using the word root because I was associating it with being stuck but was told to use it). The other universal job Lightworkers have this year is completing our healing of ourselves - letting go of what no longer serves us from this life & past lives, & truly healing our issues - our minds, spirits, souls. When you do that, physical healing will follow. And if you don't know your life mission yet, now would be a good time to seek until you find out & then move in that direction as quickly as you can. For more than a year now I've considered it my job to attend Reiki Exchanges, become attuned to the highest levels, practice Reiki on others, participate in Guided Meditations to raise my vibrational level, attend classes, read, meditate, etc. Anything & everything that presented itself as an opportunity to learn, rise, & improve in ways that fit my soul & my life mission - that has been my job. I've done it faithfully & I've seen others who have been drawn away from that path. My spiritual journey & growth has been amazing to onlookers with more time in the field than me. I believe that, in part, it's simply because I've made it my job. Because I've done the work, I will be greatly rewarded, have been put in place to achieve my heart's truest desires (since they involve working & living my mission). It's not too late for you to make that same choice.

New Slant on Forgiveness, At Least For Me

You all know I've been working hard to heal from the wrongs done to me by my latest ex husband & my mother. In both cases I was victimized, both sexually & emotionally, & it was ongoing. The only way it stopped was when I forcibly took matters into my own hands to get away from them. They didn't stop of their own accord or repent in any way. In both cases I ran away from them or left home to evade them. Then I had them removed from my home. In the case of my ex, he was bleeding every cent out of my mother after stealing her life savings - half a million dollars. He was trying to take the last $8000 she had & was taking every cent of her monthly income. I ran away from home for fear of my life, then didn't pay the electric bill, which caused him to leave. Then I had him put in jail. With my mother, I had her put into a care facility because she wasn't doing anything to participate in her own care, was acting helpless to further control me. Plus, she was actually becoming helpless because you can only act it for so long without making it a reality.

I believe I've forgiven both of them entirely. That was necessary for myself. If you don't forgive, it harms you, not the other person. It festers & eventually poisons your life while the other person goes his/her merry way. I've also forgiven myself for things I did that furthered the abuse or played into it, for my part in any of it. That's also very necessary because guilt & self-blame is at least as poisonous as not forgiving the other person. I acknowledged what within me played into these things, especially with my ex. After all, I was in my 40s when I got together with him, already divorced once, old enough to know better. But as I write this I'm not so sure I've explored & forgiven myself for what happened with my mother. I do know that I chose to be born to her & into those circumstances & I need to explore that & see if I've forgiven myself, whether there's anything I do need to forgive myself for.

The big message I got through a wonderful new friend last night was on seeking forgiveness. Long ago I processed what I did wrong in my first marriage & the ways I was cruel, unkind, & unfair to my first husband, & I sought & received forgiveness. In a relationship, it simply isn't one-sided. I always only applied that to adult & mutual choice relationships, but never to where one is helpless or totally in the victim role. Certainly I was powerless to stop my mother's abuse when I was a dependent child. Yet I know that I need to seek forgiveness for something in my relationship with her in regard to this. It just struck me so fully when the woman & I were talking about forgiveness with an ex & that there's always two sides. I believe figuring it out & doing the work is the final step to healing, or one of. I also realize that I still hold that story & I need to write it & then let it go. For years I've heard that I need to write a book about my life & now I've been given a directive to do it & why, what the messages are. I believe the rest of my healing needs to come for exploring this subject of forgiveness from them, telling my story in print, & then letting it go. There are two things points I need to make here. One is that forgiving is not condoning. The other is that it's not necessary to stick your head back into the lion's mouth when seeking forgiveness from someone else. That's just not safe or sane. In some cases it's not safe or sane to directly seek forgiveness from the source. For example, a battered woman wouldn't be wise to contact her ex to seek forgiveness no matter how necessary to her emotional growth & healing. In these cases, there are other ways. Once you figure out how you've wronged the other person, inadvertently or purposefully, you can pray for forgiveness & again forgive yourself. Or you can write the person a letter & if it's not safe to send it (which it usually isn't), burn it with the intent of sending the message & giving it to God.

Follow Your Bliss

People talk to me about things. I'm a great & empathetic listener & I learn a lot from listening. Because I'm an intuitive empath, I've learned people from listening. I am also given wisdom & understanding. Then the topics become blogs.

One of the things I hear most is that people are working in jobs that don't suit them. I've heard that all my adult life & it's especially coming to me a lot during the past year. One of my biggest wishes for my children was that they'd find & work their bliss.

I mostly talk with Lightworkers & other enlightened souls these days. They especially feel very restless & dissatisfied when working jobs that don't suit them. They long to do the things that feed their souls & missions in this life. They tell me of the things that interest them, that they long to do - their passion, their bliss. My advice is always to follow their bliss. There's a reason you are drawn to do certain things. Most recently, a friend was telling me he enjoys working as a massage therapist. He's a Reiki Master so is drawn to give physical comfort & healing to others. I don't know his Divine mission on earth but I do know that massage therapy is very in line with Reiki. And I know from my own life that the things we're drawn to, our bliss, aligns with our mission on earth, our life purpose. So if you are in a job that seems to rob you of your energy & bliss, I urge you to explore making your bliss your career. I've been working on how to do this all my adult life. "Woman's Day" magazine is the only one I currently subscribe to. I do so because they often feature articles on women who have made a business from their bliss, & how they've done that. I'm sure there are many other sources of such information also, including online. I do know that the Small Business Administration gives loans to people starting small businesses. I also know of SCORE, a free service that is active in most major cities & has online resources. SCORE is a group of volunteers, mostly retired business owners from all major categories. SCORE gives free classes & workshops, & volunteers will work with you to help with your business ideas. They can help you learn how to research zoning & laws in your area, what business licenses are needed, how to write a business plan, help you with whether your business idea is feasible, & even help you find funding. They are a great resource.

Not everyone wants or can handle their own business. But there are many creative ways to find work that will align with your bliss, as long as you open to possibility thinking. Many just don't know what to do with their talents & bliss. Some have so many that honing in on just one is difficult. I suggest making a list of all your talents & passions. I also suggest making a list of all your workable skills. Then you can compare the 2 lists & explore job possibilities. There are free career counsellors available to help you find a job that fits your skills & passions. Search until you find one - usually available locally. Networking can be key, & that's often where Facebook comes in. Many people I know are not on Facebook because they don't like it or have had a bad experience. But Facebook is an excellent way to connect to a whole community & tap into their knowledge. It's also an excellent free way to promote things you're trying to launch. Another good resource is meetup.com. You can find groups with activities that promote your interests. They're a great way to network & learn what's available to you, & can open many doors.

I have a wide range of talents, interests, skills, & passions. I used to describe myself as "jack of all trades, master of none" because I felt I had a little talent in a lot of areas but not professional grade talent in any one. First of all, if I had stuck through college, art school or music school, I could have been a professional. If I had chosen a career based on one of my skills & gotten the schooling, I could have had a career. For most of us, it's not too late to go back & get the schooling we need. One of the problems was thinking I had to be much better than I was at any one thing. Another problem was that I couldn't settle on anything except music. Then I blew myself out of the water by having too high of expectations of myself while I was still learning. Then I didn't get an education in anything - just went from job to job, took time out to raise my kids, etc. (I'm not saying time out to raise the kids was a mistake, by the way. But it ate up years others were putting into having a career, is part of why I don't.) My variety of talents & passions never seemed to add up to much that would ever work in a business sense, so never made much sense to me. Now I understand that I was given then for a reason. Now they begin to make sense to me, & I understand that they are all related to my life mission. You can read my mission statement from yesterday. Some of my interests lie in home arts - knitting, crocheting, crafts. Some of my interests lie in working with ancient healing arts - flower essences, herbal medicines. This new understanding is some of the basis for telling you to follow your bliss, it's there for a reason. Also, I know from listening to others & from my own life that being stuck in a job that drains you is like being a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. It's always going to be uncomfortable because that's not where you belong. You belong doing what fulfills you, what follows your bliss. You were given it for a reason.

My Mission Statement, By Example

If you haven't read the post on December 26 about writing your mission statement, please go back & read it before reading this. Try writing your own before you read mine. Here is mine, as promised, by example. "My mission is to always be in Light & Love in all dealings with all people, animals, spirits, beings, & the earth. To always work for the highest good for all I encounter. To raise the vibrational level wherever I go, of whomever I encounter. I wish to improve the lives of all animals on earth, especially cats, & to do anything & everything within my power to accomplish this goal. I wish to be the voice for the animals, especially cats. I want to educate people about the needs, lives, & souls of all animals to bring about their greatest good & respect - to entirely eliminate abuse, neglect, abandonment, & all mistreatment of all animals - but most especially cats, throughout all nations, across the entire face of the earth. I wish to always conduct myself with grace, in all Love & Light, to be a shining example of grace, healing, health, Love, Light, work ethics, ethics toward the earth, Spirit, man, animals, & all other beings. I wish to be a guide & teacher, a counselor who helps others heal in the now - from past life issues, current life distress & dis-ease, & issues from their past in this lifetime - to help them heal & find their Light & Love, their gifts, their voices, & their Divine missions here in this incarnation. To help them learn to manifest for the highest good, believe in themselves & Creator, ascend, & navigate in the new energies. I want to help those who are stuck in their dramas & karma, most especially my beloved birth families, my children & closest friends. I want to teach others the old ways I cherish. I want to work full time doing these things, to live my work in abundance & prosperity in all good things & ways, in health & vitality. My mission is to help others in every way they need as commissioned by God & Jesus - all those led & drawn to me for these services."

How We Receive Messages

Most of us do receive messages regularly. Few recognize it or trust themselves. The messages come in such a variety of forms, from very gentle to what amounts to a knock over the head. Oprah covered this in one of her LifeClasses a few months ago. She talks about that still, small voice from within, & listening to it. If you don't, the messages have to get more urgent until we listen. She was mostly talking about warning messages. Certainly we all receive messages of warning but we also receive messages of guidance.

I am first empath, second intuitive, 3rd psychic, 4th medium. As such, first I feel things. Then I get a feeling of knowing or certainty. Both of these are very strong in me & have been with me all my life, my major gifts. Often they work together in me. Usually a feeling leads to a knowing but sometimes it's hard for me to separate the 2 into 2 different experiences. As a psychic, I also receive messages from others, which is called telepathy. With psychic ability also comes the ability to receive messages about others, a knowing (intuitive) of something about them. This is different than telepathy because it isn't reading the thoughts of the person. As a medium, I'm also able to channel messages & receive knowledge from those who have moved beyond their physical bodies. I've worked at enhancing my psychic & mediumship abilities in recent months, using my empathy & intuition, my trusting of myself & those methods of receiving.

We all have the ability to use more than our 5 senses to get information. It's a matter of being able to listen from within & trust. This leads to learning how you receive, how it comes to you, what it's like. The more you know about how you receive, & the more open you are to receiving, the more you'll learn to identify & trust. Some people literally hear messages or see images of things but many of us don't. So  far, I'm one who doesn't. I've never heard the audible voice of angels, God, Jesus, or the departed around me. I haven't seen them either, for the most part. However, I have to say that in dreams I have done all that. Not frequently, but a few significant times. Because it's happened so rarely I've had to come to trust what I receive in more subtle ways, through intuition & empathy.

If you wish to develop these kinds of gifts, the best way is to set your intent & meditate. Now, so far I'm no good at long meditations where I just ask a question or set an intent & am quiet for a time, with or without music. The only formal meditations I've been successful at are guided meditations where someone's voice is directing it. So when I say meditation please don't think of a yoga position used for a block of time. What I mean is that I open my heart, set my intent to receive, believe that I will, & ask what I wish to know or speak to whomever I'm trying to contact. I thus initiate a conversation. Remember that in conversation you listen at least as much as you talk. When the messages come, I realize they're not from within me. They are in direct answer to what I've asked & I wouldn't be asking if I already knew.

Some people get hung up on whether these things come from within us or not. It doesn't really matter. God dwells in all of us as does all truth & knowledge. It doesn't matter whether the messages come from within you or not because Source is the same. If the answer actually comes from within you, it's coming from your subconscious, which is your Higher Self. The subconscious is less subject to our filtering than our conscious mind so is our higher truth. I happen to know that the things I seek are answered by angels or God or directly by those who have crossed over. I don't ask things that lie within me plus I've learned to identify the difference. The more you trust your experience the more you'll be receptive to more.

Another way to receive messages is through consulting others & through drawing cards or receiving readings. Also, sometimes we're given messages through things we experience or things we hear others saying. Again, all this is a matter of trust. If it feels like something someone said could have been said just for you, then it is for you. If something rings entirely true within you, listen. If someone gives you a reading or says something that doesn't seem to be true, weigh it in your heart & set it aside if it doesn't feel right. It could be that you aren't ready for the message but it could also be that it truly wasn't for you. Not everyone who claims to be able to give readings or messages is pure of heart & intent. This is where Oprah's still, small voice is very important. I am very careful about who I listen to, seek, pay attention to. If it's a true message for you & it doesn't sound right at the time, the message will come to you again in another way through another source, often in threes. If that happens, it's absolutely time to pay attention. What I most want you to know is to trust yourself & your intuitions. If you believe you're getting messages, you are. Pay attention to what's going on inside your mind, tap into your subconscious, set your intent to receive, & then trust that you will, trust what you're getting. Most of us don't have monumental experiences of these things. Instead, we experience those feelings & knowings.

Recognizing the Flow of Abundance & Supply, & Gratitude

Most of us notice lack in our lives way more than we notice or appreciate the abundance. I've noticed that I lack a kitchen table & chairs, & that there's very little furniture in my guest room, not much money coming in & none of it regularly. However, I start every day with a prayer of gratitude to God that usually lasts about 3 minutes or so. I always thank Him for the flow of abundance in my life & the financial freedom He's bringing me because even though I don't see the full manifestation of it yet, I believe. I thank Him for the healings I've been given & the health He's bringing me, & the balance, wholeness & wellbeing He's bringing into my life. Those I've seen lots more evidence of, especially lately. The other day I was casting about for more to add because I'd been having one of those conversations in my head. In it, I was telling those my mother owes that they can't come after me for her debt because I have nothing of value to sell. Those conversations in our head are not good things to continue unless they're very positive ones. Usually they aren't. If it's positive, go ahead & put it in writing or call the person & tell them the good things. That's my policy. If it's negative, cut it off! It can't do you any good unless it's a one-time way to confront something you just can't confront in person. For example, a confrontation with an abuser.

The day I searched my brain for more to express gratitude about I changed the way I viewed what I have. I have an abundance of furniture, for one thing. I have 2 very nice wooden TV trays that I use instead of a table & haven't a real need for a kitchen table at this point. The guest room has all it really needs & the rest of the rooms here are full, the ones I use most. I have an abundance of dishes & cookware, kitchen tools. I have an abundance of pillows & bed linens, towels & washcloths. I have an abundance of art & craft supplies, an abundance of Christmas decorations, clothes, & shoes. My refrigerator & freezer are full of food. I have an abundance of cats & therefore an in-home source of abundant unconditional love & attention. I have an abundance of angels, guides, teacher, & benevolent spirits around me & abundant opportunities to learn the things I want to learn. I have an abundance of loving, caring, giving friends & family. I have so much for which to be grateful. Most of us do, if we look at what we have rather than what we lack. Right now I have everything I truly need for today, although I certainly don't have everything I want. As adults, we need to focus on needs rather than wants, on plenty rather than lack.

Creator supplies our needs in such a variety of creative ways. Think about those words - Creator & creative. He has given me & many of us so many creative ways to meet our needs. Some of us are creative problem solvers, & that's Divine supply. Creator usually doesn't supply me these days directly with money, but He certainly does provide for me. For whatever reason, right now I'm still in the stage of the flow that relies on recognizing His provision even when it isn't directly in money. For my birthday a friend sent me a $25 Amazon gift card. Later that day another friend gave me a book on essential oils that was just published, one with a very scientific approach that will take my knowledge the final step needed into a truly knowledgeable professional. She also told me about the same kind of book on herbal medicine that she got used on Amazon for $7. The means to get it came just before the knowledge of the book, & she provided the other book I needed & didn't know existed. That's supply. That's the flow.

Sometimes He supplies me by eliminating my need for things. I lost weight & that eliminated the need for new clothes because I had many quality pieces I'd "outgrown" years ago. Like the other things I have in abundance, in the past I bought or obtained classics that I took good care of & kept. He virtually eliminated my need for $200 a month insulin, & now I seldom have to put out that money to buy it. And He lessens my need for it regularly, which also means I'm much healthier than I was. The other day a friend came over & brought me a can of coffee, which was a huge gift. Who knows when I'll now have to buy coffee again, plus the can itself is a gift. I use them for nails, craft supplies, & grease drip cans & didn't know coffee still came in cans anywhere. I haven't had a new coffee can in many years. But most of all, it reminded me when I needed it, that God does supply. I'm not sure what I'll do with that can but it's a wonderful reminder of God's provisioning & how He truly does it. Not only is the coffee of value & use to me - so is the can. And the woman who gave it to me happened to be feeling a real lack in supply at the time, yet thought of me when given coffee she wouldn't use, passed it on. It's like that story in the Bible of the woman who gave all she had vs. the ones who had much & gave a little. It means so much to me that she thought to give to me, & tells me much about my worth to her & others. It was a huge gift.

To those of you who still need to manifest abundance in your life I have some words of advice. Don't do it from a sense of lack - firmly fix your gratitude in place first. Remember I said I start with a prayer of gratitude? My next prayer is supplication (mostly for others) but I start my day with a prayer of gratitude, & during that time I give my life, self & day to God to guide, lead & direct. Look around you with fresh eyes at all you do have including your health, your mind, your gifts & talents, your ability to make a living. Try to see all the ways He's already supplying you, including the things I just mentioned. Next, work on worthiness. Besides coming from a feeling of lack, that's the other biggest block most of us have. Know that you are worthy of abundance & all good things. If you don't fully feel that you are, let's talk. I can help. I'd say to then work on belief but if you truly work out the feelings of worthiness the faith should come. Finally, I truly recommend the books & tools put out by Mike Dooley & the daily messages from the universe. They can be found on his tut.com website. I've been in many network marketing businesses over the years & what he teaches is taught by many & I've been forced to be a student so am familiar with most of the authors & works. Mike Dooley is truly the best so even if you think you know this stuff, you don't. Unless you are always manifesting what you want & need easily, you need to read his stuff, even if you think you know it all like I did. If you aren't doing it, you don't really know it.

Fear Based Energy Blocks Manifestation - How to Conquer It

Fear based energy is behind our uncomfortable emotions. It causes dispair, depression, anger, rage, feelings of impending doom, jealousy, etc. It's the root cause of all these & more. It also blocks manifestation. If you're doing everything right to manifest what you want & need in your life but are still living from fear based energy, you're going to block the results. Most energy workers, myself included, fluctuate between fear based energy & higher energy. Few have obtained fully living in the higher energies. The good news is that some have - it can be done.

Those of us who fluctuate are always trying to live fully in the higher energies, of course. Then we're brought down by old triggers from our past, even those we've thought we've healed & resolved. I can't stress enough the importance of doing the healing work on ourselves, to heal those triggers from our past. For most of us it's very hard to live in higher energy because most of those around us are still firmly living in fear based energy & it comes at us all the time. Family, especially our parents, are a huge influence in that way. So are many of our friends & those we encounter in the work world. That's why it's vital that energy workers & those who are trying to live in higher vibrations spend as much time as possible communicating with others who are trying to live in those higher vibrations. We need the feeding to counter the other.

There are many ways to get out of fear based energy, including surrounding yourself with others who are doing the same & working on healing. One big thing is to learn to recognize fear based energy all around you. When you truly begin to recognize it around you & in others you'll be better able to identify it in yourself when it creeps in. Recognition, will, intent, & grattitude are the greatest catalysts for change in our lives. I'm grateful to have been given the message about fear based energy, the new ability to identify it & see it. I believe that's all I needed to change. I already work hard to change all I need to in my life, which is the other key - that's how you apply will & intent. One suggestion is to write an "I Am" statement about fear based energy. Something like, "I am living above fear based energy & able to identify & counter it when it comes at me or enters my life. I am living in the higher energy vibrations." We must each live in this world to function, but work to rise above the dramas. Creator & angels can really help with that & last week I outlined who I work with. I can't over stress the importance of setting the tone for each day with prayer, "I Am" & manifestation statements & your work with angels & other beings of Light & Love. That sets the tone for my whole day. When I don't do it for whatever reason, I see a huge difference. When times are tough & you don't feel like doing it, that's when you need it most. It's often when I get the blog topic for the day. It's when I get direction for my day. It's how I daily renew my will, intent, & purpose, & most of us if not all do need to do that daily. Please remember that this is coming from a total free spirit who is not a morning person & doesn't like following ritual. I resisted the discipline of things like this all my life until about 6 months ago. But I was led to this & soon found the power in it, became a believer & faithful doer. So since I can do it I know you can. Trust me when I say this is so counter to the old me that there absolutely is true power in it or I wouldn't still be doing it. It would have fallen by the wayside toward the beginning.

Fear Based Energy - Today Just the Evidence

Earth & earthly life forms are based on fear based energy. Plants like poison ivy & roses have obvious defense mechanisms built in. Animals are born with fear based natural mechanisms like the ability to blend into their surroundings, big claws or teeth, etc. People operate from fear based energy that we're taught from birth. It's all around us, perpetuated by our societies, elders, peers, governments, & organized religions. If you've ever studied politics or advertising, you've heard about fear based campaigns vs. those that elicit good feelings. In both, it's felt that raising our fear level is what's key to creating a feeling of need that leads to buying or voting. Anyone who's attended church regularly in the most popular organized religions has had fire & brimstone preached to them at least some.

We're taught to distrust which is another word for fear. Worry & concern surrounds us as the norm. That's all fear based energy. One of the problems is that it's so rampant & so much the norm that most people never identify it as such, much less question it. That's why those on earth work from a point of need. Our work systems & money systems are based on feelings of lack & we've learned to distrust each other, social media, the government & it's workings, politicians, etc. And we're never really taught anything else. Trust, when taught, is not grounded or thorough. In church we hear about trusting God but in never goes deep enough & with fear based energy coming at us from everywhere else & in other church services or settings, it's too little too late for most of us.

Fear based energy causes the feeling of lack from which most people work. It causes crime & disease, wars & other fighting among friends, strangers, & families. In fact, fear based energy causes lack itself. If we all trusted each other & shared rather than working from lack, there'd be enough for people. I'm not talking impossible pie in the sky stuff here. All you have to do is look back at early America. In pioneer times everyone pitched in to help each other - barn raisings, getting the crops in before bad weather destroyed them, & multi-generational families lived together & shared the work & care of each other. Some still attempt that, like the Amish. They experience little crime & I imagine they experience very little major disease because the basis for their society is love & trust rather than fear.

If you think I don't mean you for whatever reason, I want you to take a good look at yourself & your feelings, & what surrounds you. Look at what motivates you. Pay attention to your thoughts. Look for the fear underneath most of what you do. If you worry or have concerns or stress, you can almost always trace it back to fear. We fear not having enough money or to eat. We fear what will happen next. We fear cancer & major illness, aging, what will happen to our children. We fear big & little things. Even many Lightworkers are still based in fear & don't even know it. As long as we're stuck in the fear cycle & fear based energy, we'll have a tough time truly moving forward in our lives & manifesting.

Look at what gets your attention & causes your emotions. Most people worry about what others think of them. Most get upset at what people say to them or about them, like neighbors, acquaintances, or former spouses - I'm talking about those not within your home. That's fear based. It's only words & unless it damages your reputation to the point that you can no longer make a living, it truly is just words. Within the home is another matter, & can actually damage us greatly. Occasional venom is something we can easily live with without permanent damage, like when a child says "I hate you," especially if that's rare. Teens are especially prone to that drama. It's very difficult to get through the teens with most kids but we survive & so do most of them. Spouses & significant others have more potential to harm us when they come at us with fear based energy. And at the core, all abuse is rooted in that. Fear that they won't get their needs met by us is usually the root cause if you strip it all down. Unfortunately, most significant other relationships are based in fear based energies because that's all most people know. That's why the divorce rate is so high & most couples break up during or before marriage. Each person goes into the relationship with fear based energy & operates from that rather than being able to work from energy based on bringing the highest good to the other & self. And we don't even know it, because that's our world & norm. I hope you've gotten the idea & can see for yourself how fear based energy rules most of us, most of what we do, think, & say, & our planet. Tomorrow, an alternative.

Start the New Year Right - Taking Care of Self

January 3 of a new year. Not too late to start. In fact, no day is too late to start. Taking care of yourself is a complex dance. We all know we need to "eat right," exercise, get enough sleep, etc. But we also need a certain amount of play, no matter what that means to you & what age you are. You truly need to know yourself & be in real touch with your rhythms, patterns, & needs to take optimum care of yourself. You also need to know when it's ok to put yourself last or in the middle for a bit & when it's absolutely right to put yourself first. And when you do put yourself first, to do it without guilt. One of the things I learned early on as a single parent is that I'm not an unending resource I could just use & use without renewal. I learned to put myself first at times without guilt & it was such a valuable lesson.

Many people suffer from SAD around this time (Season Affectiveness Disorder I believe it's called). The holidays are over & by now we're not getting enough exposure to sunlight. Also, doctors have now discovered that many people lack in Vitamin D, something we get from the sun. I haven't heard it linked to SAD but I'm sure they have by now. So those who get SAD, have your Vitamin D levels checked. Mine are fine - maybe because I take the right kind of calcium & it has a D supplement in it. Walmart sells very inexpensive little grow lights you can use to treat SAD too. Again, I don't suffer from SAD but I hear of many who do.

I know how much sleep I need, how much socialization, & how to listen to my own needs for the most part. I'm as in tune with my body's & emotional needs as I am with my car (which I've had for nearly 17 years). I know the car's sound & the minute something changes to I can catch problems early on. We need to be that way with ourselves too, & just as responsive. We're so much like the workings of a car, in a way. We need fluids & regular maintenance so if it helps because you always put yourself last, think of the care you probably give the family car & do the same for yourself.

I work on healing all the time, & self maintenance. I do the daily adjustments to my needs. Today one of my dearest friends left for home after 6 days with me & the house feels so empty & cold. Even the cats are depressed. There are so many things I need to be doing, as always, & I'm such a doer. But today I'm going to take as much time to play as I need. I'm going next door to see another dear friend & spend time with her. If it's not meeting my needs enough (I'd wanted her to come here so we could paint, something I haven't done in 18 months), I'll either persuade her to come here & paint or I'll come back home & figure out what to do for myself. We have to be creative & flexible about meeting our needs always, because our needs truly matter. We have to find ways to get them met as well as possible. It truly is a must. If I didn't take today, these "blue" feelings would linger & affect my whole week, or I'd have to work extra hard at prayer & meditation to handle them. I'm taking the easy way out, as we all should. Either way, I'm not going to get things done today, & I know play is what I need most. I already regularly do prayer & meditation so it would only be more of the same. A change is needed just for today. I hope this helped at least some of you. It's ok to take a day off or part of a day off & just play & indulge yourself & to do it regularly. In fact, it's truly necessary for our wellbeing.