How I Quit...

Remember in December I wrote about resolutions. I challenged you each to make a list of the things you wanted to overcome or change in the coming year, & told you I'd do the same. I suggested that you just change one thing at a time, that if you had 12 you just do one a month. Mine for January is probably the only one I'll share with you since they are personal habits & since I don't like them enough to be determined to change them, I don't wish to expose them to the public. However, one of my goals is to be able to be entirely exposed to the public at any time without shame or embarrassment, to be an example.

I'm going into the details of this because some of the things I did to quit will work for most addictions & bad habits. Yesterday I quit smoking after 15 months of it & 3 other attempts. Don't think it was easy because it's only been 15 months. I quit for 10 years before that, but smoked off & on, mostly on, all my adult life. Smoking is one of the hardest addictions to kick for many reasons, including: it's legal, the habit itself is addictive, nicotine is extremely addictive, it's not mind altering or mood altering when it's maintained, there's little stigma attached to it, & many others do it too. Quitting has to be planned for with 2 things in mind - rewiring your habits & handling the withdrawal from nicotine. First, you truly have to want to quit, to be motivated from within for it to work. If you're quitting because of someone else in your life, you have to make it your own reason to quit. Twelve years ago I quit because my new boyfriend (later husband) insisted. To be with him I had to. It became my motive because I was determined to be with him & I knew he was serious. Besides, I'd kind of wanted to quit for about a year by then anyway. In the past I also quit when pregnant & to honor the wishes of my first husband. Because each time I quit to benefit others more than myself, I went back to smoking when the relationships got rocky. Also, to me it was taking back my personal power. When I was abused as a kid & powerless, my abuser smoked. All my childhood I pictured myself in her place, the one in control. Since smoking was a big deal to her & she was very dramatic about it, it was part of the picture for me. So each time I went back to smoking it was a mental power play. Please hear that & determine what your power play habits are. I believe we all have them - from our parents, relationships in school, sibling relationships, romantic relationships, etc.

This time I quit because I want to be entirely healthy & healed, it doesn't fit with my life as a healer & the things I'm trying to do, & I want to be a good example. This time it's all from within, all for me & my goals for myself & my life. I set this up ahead of time with intent & knew it was working so I set the date. I'd been asking Archangel Raphael (angel of healing) & God to help me quit for about 10 days before I did. As soon as I was ready to quit & started asking for help, I started feeling bad most days with sinus headaches. It feels very much like withdrawal symptoms feel to me so I knew the actual wouldn't be much worse & knew I was being helped in advance. Last week I absolutely set my intent to quit smoking on Sunday, & renewed it every day. Sunday & today I've taken care of myself as needed, & only did the barest minimum of responsibilities. I didn't try to be social or go to church or anywhere. I kept the phone off so I wouldn't be awakened & slept all day to get through the worst period, then made sure I also slept all night. Today I took a long bath in my detox bath salts to aid in detoxing my body (supporting my effort). I did that while drinking my morning coffee (changing the habit, as my favorite cigarette was with the first cup of coffee). Another thing I'm doing to stay off them is making this public announcement. I'd really lose face if I went back to them now.

People especially revert to their habits when stressed. There's never going to be an optimal time, a no-stress time, to drop a habit. Smoking is especially one linked to stress. One way to combat stress is to do the kind of deep breathing smokers do. It's called 4 square breathing in the psychological community. You take a deep breath in to the count of 4, hold for 4, release for 4, wait for 4 & do it again. Do about 4 of them but if you really need to you can do 5-6. I don't recommend more than 6 at one time because you'll hyperventilate if you're not used to doing it. It's the way you begin any kind of meditation & relaxation exercise too, so go ahead & try meditating or deep relaxation from there. Much better for stress than smoking or just about any other habit. I'll continue supporting myself throughout this process, as long as I need to, with prayer, asking the angels (especially Archangel Raphael), taking care of myself & whatever I need at the time. To take care of myself I'll be doing the detox baths, the breathing, self Reiki, Reiki on others, helping others, avoiding others when I need to in order to avoid excess stress, take breaks when I need to, drinking lots of water, getting plenty of sleep, doing 4 square breathing. I'll be doing anything & everything I need to, paying attention to my needs at the time & doing whatever I need to for myself. I will not be substituting food, drugs, or nicotine patches or gum for cigarettes, or any other crutch. My final thought is to assure you that the angels are truly helping me. I haven't smoked for about 34 hours at this point & I know what that usually feels like vs. the way I feel today. I didn't have angelic help before because I wasn't determined or ready before. My mental state wasn't there - I was still in fear based energy. About the time I finally released myself from fear based energy I was ready to address quitting, & started asking the angels & God. I knew help was in place when smoking started to make me feel bad so I went into yesterday determined & knowing help was in place. Hopefully reading all this will help you too, no matter what you want to change.