From Lack to Gratitude, Need vs. Want

I'm not sure how well this picture is going to come out in the blog. I found it posted on Facebook last night & it fit with this theme so I had to post it to my page & copy it here. I'm not a fan of the saying that goes something along the lines of, "I felt bad that I had no shoes until I met someone who had no feet." I've said this before. We all have "problems" & "troubles." No one should tell you that yours aren't important. They are to you & that's what matters. I also don't like the saying about how God never gives you more than you can handle. I don't believe God gives us "problems" or "troubles" & I'll speak more on this tomorrow.

These days I get sympathy sometimes for the "hardships" I'm facing. Please understand that I'm not seeking sympathy when that happens, but family members & close friends want to be updated on how things are going. And they ask specific questions & I don't dodge or give half answers. And so it comes out that in addition to other things about my situation, nothing is really very easy. I don't happen to have a lawn mower, a washer or dryer, or easy access to a laundromat because I also don't have a car. Some could say "at least you have your health" but that's not a given either. I have certain health problems & new ones that have occurred in the last few months. 

The result is that there are many things I no longer take for granted. I sort of still take plumbing for granted but I wonder how my oldest cousin feels. She was 18 before she lived in a house with indoor plumbing! Now she's 56 so I'm sure she's more than gotten used to it. But I'm also sure she still remembers what it was like without it. And you have to understand that her family wasn't poor. They lived in a farm house that belonged to the family for nearly 150 years by then. Rather than putting  plumbing in that old place, my uncle built a new house that they've occupied far longer than they did the old one.

I only use plumbing as an example, but I've had to think about it because my water bill was over due & I wasn't sure how I was going to pay it before the cut off notice. It made me think about what life would be like here without water. As it is, I'm having trouble getting laundry done - lack of facilities nearby & lack of a way to get to any. Maybe I'll have to start washing clothes in the bathtub, see if I still have an antique wash board packed away somewhere. Actually, that's not a bad idea. Hard on the arms, but not a bad idea. I've become very resourceful about getting things done. I end up feeling very clever & resourceful, & increase my belief in myself & my ability to cope & be creative. And if we end up without electricity & conveniences, I'm ahead of the learning to cope curve. I've learned how many groceries I can buy at a time based on what I can carry on the bus, & to use extra large reusable bags to make it manageable. I use my weed whacker to cut the lawn. I do whatever I have to in order to get things done. And rather than feel sorry for myself, it's made me very grateful for every convenience & comfort I have.

I'm truly learning to recognize the difference between want & need. Some of it I've known for quite awhile. For example, love. A certain amount of love is a human need but the love of any one individual, even one's parents, is not. That man you're certain you need - not. That's just a strong want. Going without all my life has certainly taught me & proved that one. Etc. I could go on & on with this. We need a certain amount of touch & affection, but not as much as you think. We hear of babies (of any species) deprived of touch when they're little. Yes, for them it's a need. For adults, not nearly as much. It might seem like a need but trust me, it's not as much of a need as you think. Again, I know from experience.

There are 3 things I'd like to make you think about here. One is what is truly a need vs. a want. Another is, I'd like you to look at all you have in your life with gratitude. I'm grateful for my pillow top bed because it's exactly what I tried to buy in 1999. Mattress Warehouse cheated me with bait & switch, a non-pillow top, & because I couldn't take more time off work for a delivery I kept what they sent. I've had the new mattress for almost a year now & it's made all the difference in my ability to get a good night's sleep. I'm grateful for all I have. I'm grateful that I have as much physical capability as I do, & for my home. Most of all I'm grateful for my family & friends, the love in my life. Things happen all the time that remind me I have much to be grateful for. Family or friends move, die, stop caring or communicating. Accidents & things can take away our freedoms or abilities, or our nest egg. The 3rd thing is that it's happening all around us now. I know so many people who are losing their jobs, or relationships, people who through no fault of their own are going through so much. My advice is not to judge, not to take anything for granted, & to be truly grateful for all you have. As I've said before, I'm also grateful for the things that might seem unfortunate. I learn & grow from all of them. And in fact, we learn more from lack & "misfortune" than we do from plenty & luxury.