Most of my blog topics come from the time I take at the beginning of the day, prayer and communion with God and the angels. The blogs reflect the theme of the day that emerges then. Each day has a different focus or new insight on a previous subject. During this time I process the messages given the day before and in my dreams, assimilate, learn, and come to a new understanding. I move forward every day because of these things. This is my time to process things I heard or received the day before. I've had time to sleep on them, and I invite God and the angels into my dreams most nights. Most days I preserve this time. I usually don't answer the phone or respond to messages so I can process before new stimuli from the outside comes in. I consider others to be the "outside" here. God and the angels are definitely "inside." They speak to me within, and God lives within me. Some marvel at how I've come so far in just two years and this is how. I've learned that this alone time at the start of my day is my best time to process my feelings and thoughts. I've worked very hard during the past two years to change. I needed to release all the messages and experiences from my past that no longer served me, weren't of me. I needed to get down to my core beliefs, my inner "knowing." The other day I read the difference between "knowing" and "believing." I drew the "Sweat Lodge" card from a Jamie Sams "Sacred Path" deck. It said that beliefs can be changed by the opinion of others but that "knowing" is an essential part of you. I was one who had beliefs swayed too much by others, by those I felt were authority figures. I was able to feel the message of the difference, therefore, with all my heart. Now I have way more "knowing" but still have beliefs. Having beliefs is being open minded until you get to the "knowing." It's a good thing. I listen to different beliefs and some trigger a move between believing and knowing.
With intent I have entirely changed my life in the past two years. My past is filled with authority figures who sought to entirely control and define me, possess me. Yet I managed to learn myself in many ways, be myself. There was a strong will within me to shine through. In the 1990s and 2000s I was able to emerge some in spite of the mind and body control measures that were exerted over me through the years. When my marriage ended in 2010, so did most of my direct responsibility to take care of others. It was finally my time to devote to me, my needs and natural wants, my spirit. I had evolved into a spiritual but not overly religious being, and knew I needed to further nurture that. I knew that what was in my spirit was what my life needed to be about. I knew I needed to get down to my core values and beliefs, to live my life based entirely on who and what I am. At the time, I only knew that I'm an artist and craftsman. The rest was a path of discovery I've actively embraced. So the business I set my intent for was to find my truest self, become the very best me I could be, and live the most honest life I could. I mean honest to and with my self, my God given gifts and talents, and to live based on what I want and value most in and for my life. The first thing that happened was a "chance" phone call to a stranger who told me I'm a healer and should become attuned to Reiki. I was told that it would entirely change my life and would entirely fit with who and what I am, what I already do. I quickly found out that he was right about me being a healer. Less than a month later I took my Reiki I attunement, and took my Reiki II attunement just over a month after that. The rest is truly history. He was entirely right about it being the next step, right for me, and it changing my life.
Reiki opened the door to the richness now in my life. I have very few people in my life who have known me more than two years, but my life is absolutely full of people! The people who remain in my life from my past (before 2000) and the new ones all bring unique qualities of love, the unique gifts of themselves. These people create the fullness in my life, the bounty. In the 1990s I changed my life and began to truly discover myself when I started remembering my childhood of abuse and dealing with it, healing. Outside of my blood family, I only have two friends left from before 1990. I'd only managed to attract two such quality people! After 1990 I shifted and attracted quality. After 2010, that shift went on steroids thanks to Reiki and intent.
In the 1990s I totally became aware of the way I feel people. To me, each person has a unique feel, a unique quality. I feel their essence and spirit. Once aware, I was able to focus also on those I've known in the past and their essences and spirit, the uniqueness they added to my life. Some people feel similar, but all are different in their own, beautiful ways. As I've said, I went from the little girl no one wanted, loved, or respected (mostly) to having a life full of joy and love. Through the people in my life and our interactions, I've learned myself and who I am. I've also found my place! I never fit before, always felt on the outside looking in. I always marched inside to a different beat, and now I know so many who march to a similar beat. I never truly belonged with any one group of people, and now I've found so many with whom I belong. I not only belong - I'm treasured and valued, entirely for myself, just as I am! I can't tell you how huge that is to me! Everyone needs love and acceptance, to find his/her place in the world and to belong. It's one of the basic survival needs. In this I've moved from barely surviving to thriving. It has given me a glimpse of how God and the angels feel about me. It's totally enhanced my feelings and views about myself. It's enabled me to find myself and my "knowings." I am surrounded by love and those who give of themselves to me. And I now have achieved having no authority figures in my life! That one is pretty new, only in the last few months has that entirely evolved. God and I are the only authority now and I'll never accept another. I've become strong. I no longer allow another to control me, my thoughts, moods, or attitudes. I listen now only to the authority of God, His angels, and myself. I trust myself, understand that I needn't fear authority figures because I am self-regulating. I don't need to nor will I allow another to judge and control me. I do that for myself, and am learning to be kind and gentle with myself in this.
All of these things have been enhanced by the gift of others in my life and their unconditional love. When the love I'm being given is not in alignment and unconditional, I work to change it or eliminate the person from my life. I've learned to set healthy boundaries of who can be in my life in what capacity. I base this on where they are in their path and growth. If they don't enhance my life but I can help enhance theirs, they are clients. Those who are still mired in drama are kept at a distance. I limit their place in my life until they either move out of my life on their own, or change enough to accept help. When I can, I change the relationship dynamics to move into alignment with what I want and need in my life. If the person is willing to change these dynamics, he/she is still accepted into my life. The quality of the relationship determines the amount of contact and what I'm able to give in return. My closest relationships involve unconditional love and mutual respect, a healthy balance of give and take, of sharing. Please understand I'm not talking about time spent together in any of this. Our lives aren't conducive to spending the amount of time together that our relationships deserve. We each have too many pulls and restrictions on our time, too many obligations to be able to invest the time we'd like into the important people in our lives. I hope that with the coming changes, that too will change. I realize my relationships with people mirror my relationships with my cats. I'm here with the cats most of the time, but with six cats and one person, each cat gets the little of me they ask for each day. They get it when they ask for it, as I'm able. Usually I'm busy with something, but I stop often to give as much as they request, or nearly. So too with so many people in my life! I give what I can when I can to those who ask. It's one of my versions of "stop and smell the roses." It's one way I stop and enjoy the sweetness of life, and also give back.
I spend time in gratitude every day. It's an ongoing thing during my day - I stop and acknowledge the sweetness of what I have, give thanks. It's a verbal, quick prayer. But I also live daily with gratitude just flowing from my heart without words. One of the things that pours from my heart nearly constantly is the love, gratitude, and awareness of those people I hold most dear. You all know who you are! I hold you each in my heart fully every day. My life is lived as a prayer for your highest good and well-being, in gratitude for all you bring to my life. This state of gratitude, being, grace, and joy comes from your contributions, and expands my heart daily. The more I love, the more love I have to give, and the more I attract and receive. And this is the greatest universal law of attraction at work, of manifestation - the fruit of intent. This is part of what living Heaven on earth is about and like. It is moving into Oneness, which is what I've been describing. It is sharing God, who is Love, with each other - the greatest work on earth. I used to hear in church about furthering God's work, going out to work for Him and it was very scary. Now that I do it and understand it, it's become the most natural thing in the world, is part of every breath I take. Thank you, all who have added to my life and helped me get here!
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