A large percentage of the people I know are in transition in their lives and it's mostly been forced on them. A few have done it by choice though, which is very courageous. I understand that I only know a small population of America and that the percentage I know is a reflection of what's going on in our country. Most of the transitions I'm talking about involve the loss of a job but I also know those in transition in relationships, usually from divorce.
For all of us, our lives in this country have changed drastically in our lifetimes. At 56, I've seen many changes. My parents' generation usually stuck to marriage and career for their entire adult lives. Divorces were few, as were job changes. Most people stuck it out for 30 - 40 years and retired from the company they first started with out of high school. In my generation, many went to college but few ended up in jobs that matched their majors. We're the cross-over generation. Some of us had longevity in a career and some had to bounce. My children are in the generation that seldom stays with one employer for long. In the space of one working generation - mine - companies went from valuing and rewarding longevity and loyalty to ushering people out in favor of new blood. Often this was so they could pay newcomers less, or didn't have to pay pensions. However, pensions too became a thing of the past in my generation, as did health care benefits.
The bottom line is - the illusions of job security and financial security are gone. I believe for most of us, the housing market drop in Fall of 2008 broke those illusions. My goal in the last paragraph is to take the idea of change from the metaphysical realm to the "daily life" realm. We can all agree that we are in vastly changing times. You don't have to believe in the Mayan calendar or 2012 predictions to see that for yourself. That said, we have elections coming up in a few weeks and some are anxiously awaiting the outcome. Personally, I'm not. I believe that what's supposed to happen will. In this as in all else, I surrender the outcome to God. He alone knows what will happen and what needs to happen when. I have no desire to stick my nose into His business. I certainly can't plot and execute the plan, so why worry or try to control it in any way? That's the way I'm getting about everything in my life. It does no good when I fret or worry or try to manipulate circumstances. I do my part - do the work before me and listen to guidance, use all my resources. That's my part - the result of the efforts is His.
For those of you facing upheaval, this is your golden opportunity to make positive choices for yourself. In fact, the fewer outside responsibilities you have, the more choice you have. By "outside responsibilities" I mean responsibility for supporting others, like children or other dependent family members. Many of you own your own homes, have cars and possessions but no dependents, yet fret about maintaining your lifestyle rather than making choices based on your truest needs. Most are around age 50 or older, but not yet at retirement age, or still need income. To all of you facing choices that are more concerned about preserving what you own than making choices from the heart, I ask you to take a step back. This is probably your last chance to make your life be about your values, needs, and dreams - and perhaps, your mission in life. Our jobs tend to define us. They take up the majority of our time, energy, and attention. So the choices you make about a job will affect all areas of your life. In the past, these have probably been purely economic and convenience choices. You've "ended up" in the best paying job you could do that you could be hired for in your area. In most cases, your time is not spent in rewarding and fulfilling ways, or in ways that enhance your life or being. You're trading your time, energy, skills, and talents for a paycheck. Yet life is so much more than that! We each have God-given dreams for ourselves, talents, skills, desires. To not be true to them ever in your life is to waste what He gave you, and to actually waste a large portion of your life. Are you waiting for your retirement years? Who says you'll have the time, energy, or physical capabilities by then, especially since so few can afford to retire? That too has changed - just look at the elderly working at Walmart.
Every time you face upheaval in your life you have choice and opportunity for change. If you simply react, you aren't exercising choice. You aren't taking control of your life - you're being controlled. That's when we end up defeated and sometimes broken. But every conscious choice made increases our control over the outcome of our lives, and our sense of self. We gain so very much from it! And we steer our direction in life toward our goals. In the 1990's I made job choices based on salary, location, and job satisfaction with the needs of my kids in mind. I was single parenting and whenever I thought about changing jobs, I ended up staying in the same job because I could get time off and get to their school if they got sick. Making that conscious choice was always good for me, helped me never feel stuck when I was restless and wanted a change. It also helped me appreciate the good things about the job I was in. Making conscious choices is empowering. Making them true to your deepest desires and needs is even more so.
So as you handle the changes in your life, ask yourself what you truly most want and need. What unfulfilled dreams and desires do you have for your life? If you don't make choices toward fulfilling them now, when will you? Which ones are you willing to give up on forever, right this very minute? Keep in mind as you answer these things, these are not rhetorical questions. If you don't choose to fulfill these in the here and now, you'll probably never fulfill them! Often the problem is that we have conflicting needs and desires. The best way to handle that is to weight your dreams and desires based on their importance to you. One note - this is not the time to limit your thinking with "can't." If you've wanted to be a public speaker more than anything else in the world but don't see how you'd ever get hired as one, put it on your list as the highest priority. There are all kinds of ways to achieve that dream, and others, and I can easily point you into how to start.
For those in a state of upheaval, and those contemplating major changes in their lives, I have some suggestions. Make a list of all your dreams without limiting them. It doesn't matter if you can't possibly see how it could ever happen. It doesn't matter if some conflict with others. Write them all down, and then give them a number based on how important they are to you. If you have many and they end up in a long list, you might need to then rewrite your list in numbered importance. If you're facing a job or career change, you might also make a list of all you're good at and all you can do. Again, don't limit this. When I made my list years ago I including music even though I didn't have a college degree for it, or see any way I could make money with it. It helped me see the possibility of a job as a music therapist, which helped me see a job as a counselor. I haven't gone on to become either at this point, but I do unpaid counseling for people and am going to college for a degree in psychology. Once you're done with these lists you can do some brainstorming and possibility thinking. You can consult with a life or career coach or go to a book like "What Color is my Parachute" to help. I wrote out a list of dreams early in 2011 and again about two months ago. In 1991 I made out my list of skills and talents. One of the things on the list of talents was public speaking. Although I wasn't formally trained and certainly not credentialed, I knew I had a desire and aptitude. Within a few years, I ended up doing a small amount of it to small audiences, without changing jobs! So far it hasn't come to fruition as I envisioned when I wrote that, but it seems to have been predicted that it will in the future. Keep in mind as you make these lists that you never know where your life will end up leading you if you follow your dreams, and guidance. I certainly didn't plan on ever going back to college, but now I'm looking forward to seeing what doors open because I have. The door can open tomorrow to what seems impossible today. You're only truly limited by your own willingness and perceptions!
One of the best things I ever did for myself was make a conscious choice when I found my life in total upheaval two years ago. I chose to make my work and life be true to my gifts and talents, and to find out what I'm to do here on earth, then do it. In other words, rather than seek the easiest way out of the upheaval, I made conscious choices. I didn't try to cling to the old ways that brought me to that upheaval, or to use old methods. Nothing will change for the better if you keep doing the things that haven't worked. And clinging to what's not really working for your best is just going to get you more of the same - nothing gets better that way. I also didn't go for the quickest route to the most money, nor did I throw up my hands and give up. I've used the opportunity to make conscious choices to make my dreams come true and live life on my terms. I've made choice after choice based on my biggest needs, on my values, on what matters most to me. And I've never once regretted it. My life isn't where I want it to be yet, two years later. For one thing, I started in a huge hole in every way - with physical disabilities, debt without income, responsibility for an elderly relative, a house full of what hoarders boxed up, and no direct resources. I also had to deal with the leavings from emotional abuse, to overcome the self-esteem issues. I had my income and marriage end at the same time. Most people facing upheaval don't have to face such total, all encompassing upheaval or such pervasive adverse circumstances. So don't look at where I am only - look at where I was and how far I've come, and on my own terms! I'll tell you - the "on my own terms" is worth so much!
If I can do it, then you certainly can. You have no excuse not to! You alone can determine what you make happen in your life if you're flexible and make conscious choices. Not everything can be had, of course. Not everyone who wants to be President of the United States can. You might have to be president of the Rotary Club instead, or a state Senator. If you've never been in politics and end up being a Senator rather than President, I believe you'd be pretty satisfied. But even that won't happen unless you give credence to your dreams and make choices to make them happen, make the most of opportunities for change. Taking the safe way will never get you what you want, and "safe" is truly just an illusion.
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