Needs vs. Wants

In 1943 Maslow created a pyramid model he called a hierarchy of needs for each human. At the bottom are the most essential to life & as you move up, you get more into the psychological needs than the physical. The physical needs are mostly metabolic & obvious - food, water, sleep, air, etc. Just above that are the safety needs - for personal & financial security, health & wellbeing, & a safety net against accidents & illnesses & their adverse impacts. Next comes love & belonging, including friendships, intimacy, family. The next highest level (next to the top) are esteem needs. These have been divided into lower (respect from others, status, recognition, attention) & higher (self-respect, strength, competence, mastery, self-confidence, independence, freedom). The top level is called self-actualization & includes creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, acceptance of facts. What is amounts to is being able to come into your full potential. Before you can do that, you truly need to master all the other needs in the pyramid. It's a very interesting read & I've only touched on it here, only paraphrased the concepts. It was an entire chapter in our psychology course in high school.

Most people mix up needs with wants, & many of us have many of our wants met while some of our basic needs are not. I found it interesting reading this hierarchy just now because I'd forgotten what they all were, only remembered the concept. It amazes me how much of my life I've gone without most of my most basic needs met, from the second level on, including now. Wikipedia tells what happens when these needs aren't met & is spot-on. I wasn't thinking of some of this as universal need, like friendships & certain types of safety. I've had very little safety in my life so it's amazing I do as well as I do, am as emotionally healthy as I am. I have God & the angels, plus certain friends & family through the years, to thank for that. No wonder I keep getting depressed & fearful, since I lack most of the aspects of safety & have most of my adult life!

Many people mistake wants for needs & therefore go about seeking the wrong things, while neglecting their true needs. For me, it's often that I'm seeking things in the 2 highest levels instead of taking care of the safety needs. Now I'm going to get out of my head & tell you some needs that are my own opinion.

I believe each home needs at least one bath mat, unless your tub or shower is equipped with something non-slip. Just because you've never fallen doesn't mean you won't. Even if you never use bath oil, soap in any form (shaving foam, shampoo) is slippery & if just one time your tub or shower doesn't drain quite right, you can slip & fall. I also think a firm, non-slip rub to step out on is a necessity. And please don't leave your bath mat in the tub full time & let it mildew like my ex husband did! I think every car should have a set of jumper cables unless you have a motor club membership. Even if you don't know how to use them, someone around you probably does. I think every adult should have a will unless you own absolutely nothing of any value that no one would want. I think everyone should have a cell phone for emergencies if nothing else. If you can't afford one, there are those available for low income people for emergencies. I think most adults should have a Facebook account for networking opportunities. You don't have to spend any real time on it. Facebook can eat up all your time & most people use it all wrong - to vent, attack others, post too personal information & photos, hook up, etc. But Facebook, when used to network, can be very powerful. I work it rather than waste time on it. I use it to my advantage & ignore the rest, the junk on it. Through it I receive networking invitations that I can take or leave - it's up to me but this way I know about them. I don't post things that put my privacy at risk, & control my settings so that people can find me for networking. I'm cautious about who I "friend" & what I post.

I also believe that we all need comfortable shoes & underclothes. So many people have nice clothing & uncomfortable shoes, underclothes, & toothbrushes because they don't replace them when needed. They're thinking about appearances instead of needs. I believe that most people need at least one house plant & at least one pet - something to nurture that brings joy & a reason to get up other than duty. I believe we all need some things that make us feel good & loved. I have some special things throughout my home that remind me of that regularly. One of my particular needs is organization & cleanliness within the home. It's a higher need for sure, but I function so much better when I take care of having an organized & clean space to live & work. I'm sure many of you could add to my list, or would like to argue or subtract. Please feel free. This is just my opinion in this forum.