It recently came to me that my annoyance with certain people is an opportunity to become better than I am. So I am calling you to look at who annoys you and why. I thought I was doing really well by not showing my annoyance much with this people. What I realized was that these were signals to change and improve my heart.
I was getting annoyed with certain people who called me frequently and told me the details of their day, and upcoming day. These were not people I was especially connected to emotionally so I really didn't care. I also tend not to like hearing a bunch of minute details. The other "people" thing is those who repeat these details or just want to "shoot the breeze." I'm used to and prefer really meaty conversations rather than "chit chat." I like talks where I really connect with and learn about the other person. The best are where I also learn more about myself or my areas of interest.
You have to understand that I truly don't love talking on the phone but spend approximately 20 hours on the phone in most 7 day periods. That's half of what most people spend on a job! Most of my loved ones aren't available in person so the phone is the next best option. People also access me by phone so I can help them with issues. It's part of my outreach work.
What came to me is that although I don't feel especially close to any of those who annoy me on the phone, they feel close to me. Just as I want to hear the voice of and connect with my loved ones, they want that with me. They aren't trying to waste my time or energy. Once I realized that my heart softened.
I also received softening with some information about one of my cats who regularly annoys me. She's a "cup half empty" girl and I truly haven't done well with those personalities. A friend who regularly visits me here pointed out that she's here to teach me the lesson and change that in me. Ever since then I've been more loving and patient and we are both doing better. All it takes is a change in attitude. As usual, the messages came close together and in multiples. First was about the cat, and that led to new perspective about these phone calls.
Not much annoys me no matter what. But there have been some recurring themes. Some pointed to my need to set boundaries. Those felt like pretty major annoyances. They drained my energy and left me feeling like everyone wanted a piece of me. So I started setting boundaries and feel much better. The message is that I took control of my energy and time, and therefore my feelings. Now that I have boundaries in place and exercise them, I have only myself to blame if I end up feeling put upon. So these other annoyance feelings were much milder. And now I know to look inward when I find myself annoyed by people, to see the lesson and what I need to work on within myself. I'm always striving to be more compassionate and loving towards all.
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