First you need to understand that my family is made up of people related and not, my cats and other animals, and my Council of teachers, guides, and angels. It's Thursday (8/23) but it's been such a long week. Friday I had my own movie night and watched, "Michael," with John Travolta. During a break, I had a fun chat with Archangel Michael about the movie. Saturday I found out that my latest ex husband had died suddenly the day before, while rebuilding his life. Some of you know the whole story, most don't. My ex was Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde, as I've said before. The loving side (Dr. Jeckle) was incredible and his usual persona but Mr. Hyde leaped out unexpectedly enough to give me a mild case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was unofficially adopted into his family (although I never lived with them) when in high school, through his little sister. That's when I developed an enduring crush on him. So I loved him for about 30 years before we got together after failed marriages. We lived together for 10 years after that. Meanwhile, I was connected to and knew his family. I only knew the Dr. Jeckle side until we got together in 2000, what I'd seen with his family. Although the marriage ended very badly, it created that "earthquake" under my world I've referred to, the opportunity to change my life. Awhile back I processed what went wrong to create this. I faced my role in it, saw his turning points and the unfortunate choices he made. I forgave him, and was praying daily for him for awhile before he died.
I actually found out he died in an email and every word I read was felt like a hammer blow. I spent Saturday doing what I could for his friends and family, personally phoning and notifying them. I also spent time processing my feelings, and was able to come down to nothing but the love. There are a few reflections on this posted in the 8/23 blog.
The next day, I found out that my oldest cat (Whiskers), my substitute husband, has decided to die. He's had a cyst for awhile now and I found out it's turning to cancer, affecting his health. I was offering him Reiki to heal and he only once took more than about 2 minutes of treatment. Now I know why. He told a friend and me that he's done, he's tired. He doesn't want to get well. He'll take just enough Reiki energy to feel better, then no more. I told him I need him and asked him to stay with me and he made a rather naughty joke, saying one of the other cats will fill in for him. It doesn't work that way. But I got the message, and told him so. I told him I have to respect his decision because I love and respect him. Some of you have gone through this with humans. So I came to acceptance right away when my plea was rejected, but I had to adjust to the knowledge.
I've only told you all that to give you context. My life is absolutely no picnic. But if you haven't read the 8/23 blog post you need to before you read the rest of this one.
I was able to accept the decision Whiskers made and adjust, and everything else, because I'm now moving firmly into the center of the flow of All That Is. This includes abundance, peace, harmony, wholeness, balance, well being. I have no idea what's happening next in my life, or even in my day. But I live in faith and the belief that all is unfolding as it should and in the proper time frame. The "bad" things are opportunities for revealing and shedding what's still within me that no longer serves me. Otherwise, I barely react to things that happen that seem "bad." I only react if I still need to grow in some way. So "bad" things don't happen as much now. And I'm not afraid of them. They're simply opportunities. I know that anything can be overcome and provide something in my life. I do have to reinforce this every day. I do that with prayer, positive "I Am" statements, and by working with specific angels on meeting my needs.
That and gratitude are the biggest keys. Not only do I not fear, I'm grateful for the "bad" or inconvenient things that happen. I have come to the place of recognition and gratitude. I recognize everything as an opportunity and am grateful. I recognize the abundance around me and am grateful. I don't know where my income will come from or the money I need for my obligations, only that it will. I try to truly appreciate and realize all the abundance in my life. I certainly have an abundance of cats and cat hair! But you know, I save that cat hair. One day I really am going to learn to combine it with fine wool and spin it into yarn. So I gather up what I can of the cat hair and save it, watch my supply grow. I have plenty to practice with now, all textures. So I am grateful for cat hair. But one note - I'm not hoarding cat hair. If someone else needed some, I'd share. I'm not saving it "in case," or "for a rainy day." It's not like a savings or retirement account. I simply have an abundance of it and continue to save it for eventual recycling, rather than just throw it away. I recognize the value in it, for me at least. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder and you can find so much beauty in what others cast off. If you enjoy yard or garage sales, or thrift shops, you know just what I mean.
I have so much and never go without what I truly need, unless I become fearful and shut myself off for fear of running out. For a long time I did that, lived as "small" as I could and focused on the lack. At that time I was always fearful and blocked. I'm still a long way away from where I want to be, but I'm learning to recognize and be grateful for the abundance in my life. I have abundant love, friends, family. I don't focus on what I don't have like loving parents or a lover/husband/mate. Instead I focus on the loving family that I do have. For example, my daughter and daughter-in-law are some of my very best friends in the world, although certainly not my only. Lots of people can't say that. This is just the thing - you need to focus on what you do have and fully enjoy it, rather than on what you don't. Where you put your focus is what you'll perpetuate. So if you are focusing on what you lack, that's exactly what you're making more of.
To stay in the flow, don't resist what's happening. This is what creates the stress and further problems. Instead, figure out a way to handle it and view it as an opportunity. When I'm feeling unsettled, I work to rebalance myself as quickly as possible. I do this in many ways. I take a break, first of all, do something for myself. That may be a meal, a nap, a nice bath with the bath salts I made to clear negative energy, or meditation. I also always pray, often ask angels to help me get balanced again. Then I pay attention to all that happens around me. One of the cats will come in and lick my leg, and I know she's helping me. I was unsettled a few minutes ago and then I heard a dove. I always know that's my beloved grandparents communicating their love. Or I see two white moths flying together, or hear the wind chimes and know the angels are assuring me that all is well. I choose to recognize these messages and reassurances and take them to heart. There is beauty all around us all the time if we just open our eyes. We have abundant air, water, nature, light, colors, scents, and entertainment - if you just look. Sit outside and watch the bugs and you'll see the abundance built into our world.
I also deal with the feelings that have been brought forth, and learn more about myself and what still needs clearing in myself and my life. I choose to make the most of the opportunity given to me by whatever upset my balance. We can't control what happens to us but we can gain a sense of control and responsibility by choosing how we react and deal with it. I don't try to control my world and what happens in it any more. Instead, I control my thoughts and actions, reactions. That's how to not resist, to learn to go with the flow. It requires faith, but that's how you develop faith too. You practice all this one thought and reaction at a time. It takes time but that time will pass anyway - so why not begin to transform your world by doing it the only way possible - by transforming yourself. The only control that's not a total illusion is self-control. And self-control helps you feel in control of your world, while not perpetuating the illusion of control. By doing this and believing in overall good, you learn to quit resisting life and flowing with it. I have such a feeling that there's so much more here I'm supposed to be telling you. So I'm sure this is a subject we'll revisit. And I truly do welcome comments and additions, other perspectives here.
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