More on Surrender

Surrender isn't a "once and for all" action. It doesn't come easily and naturally to us, for one thing. God gave us free will and that's one of the defining characteristics of humans. I'm finding that sometimes I have to surrender over and over during the day. I keep moving back into concern about the outcome, and that's not true surrender. So just like I've been practicing positive thinking, clearing old issues, asking the angels and God for help, so I've got to keep practicing this surrender. It's something that becomes easier over time and I'm in the beginning stages. (The first part of this blog was written on 9/22.) Anyway, it reminds me of the addiction recovery process. Sometimes you have to renew your resolve moment by moment.

A dear friend wrote that the blog on surrender really meant something to her because she's got the same issues. She also wrote that she wishes she had a magic wand. I'm known for saying that too. The connections among my soul group are incredible. We struggle with a lot of the same issues at the same time. Last night I talked with another dear friend who is struggling with job move decisions and where she's going to live, needs a car... Again, issues I'm dealing with. Often we don't have answers for each other as we're still dealing with these situations. It's simply comforting to know that we're not alone in these issues and struggles. It also helps to share perspective and strategies.

Today I had a wonderful confirmation that God supplies for our needs. One of my immediate needs concerns a certain amount of money I need to pay. I got a phone call on it last night so it was on my mind this morning when I was surrendering my needs to God in prayer. Then I got a text message on the amount a friend is going to "pay" me for her Reiki II attunement tomorrow. I know you see this coming - it's the exact amount that was foremost on my mind at the time!

As I've said, one of the things surrender did for me was help me see what's for my highest and greatest good. The process of getting there also helped me see exactly what I do want and need in my life at this time. Finally! So I've finally fully set intent, to manifest what I need. It's still about surrender - the outcome is up to God. And I've added my wants to my surrender, not just my needs. And did I tell you I also surrender my relationship with, thoughts, and feelings about money? I believe that's important too. So in my prayer time this morning I spent more time than even in the surrender part. I discussed my wants and a little of my needs. God knows all this but talking with Him helps in relationship, and so I talked to Him about it. Then I surrendered the outcome to Him. I am actively pursuing solutions in order to do my part, and expressing my wishes. But I'm not trying to control and manipulate. There's a fine line of difference here that if you don't get, you truly don't get. I'm doing all I can to manifest what's needed for my highest good as I know it, and asking for this or something greater. I'm yielding the outcome to God, knowing that He alone truly knows what my highest good is. I know it may be different than what I think it is, and I'm willing to allow for that. That's part of why I've left the outcome in His Hands. Because I truly most desire my highest good and trust Him fully, mostly. I say mostly because my heart and head are still getting there. That's why I have to keep surrendering, and say it doesn't come naturally to us. We think we know best and think clearly when in truth, as humans, we barely see beyond our own point of view. That's part of why trust in God and His goodness is so important. We need to trust that He will ultimately provide what's best for us, and knows better than we do - the future, our truest needs, the "big picture."

Now the rest of this is being written today. So much has happened since I wrote the above part on Saturday afternoon. Saturday night was very healing and revealing, about my purpose on this earth for one thing. Sunday Rebekah Gamble (her Etsy store is Asian Brocade and you can reach her there) did an incredible healing and channeling session on me. It was a truly miraculous session, the most powerful I've ever experienced. Because my mother and latest ex were my abusers, I lose sight of other issues. One is that my father died when I still barely knew him, had only seen him a few times in my life. First my father came to me during the healing session and this time my heart entirely opened to him. When Dr. Marjorie Augustine Rivera (known as ChiChi) channeled him just over a year ago, I wasn't ready to receive his message. She too is very gifted, a psychic medium who travels some. You can reach her at moonstonemediums.com. This time I opened to him immediately and received such healing through Rebekah's work that I now finally feel and understand him and his love for me. I gained great insight when she also channeled my mother, who is still living. And then she channeled God Himself and His love for me.

Then yesterday I went to a guided meditation by my Reiki Master, Debbie Donoghue. (You can find her at rainbowstarproductions.com.) When I went to the last Reiki Exchange she was talking about how the energies have changed and the meditations have become decidedly more powerful recently. Now, I've found them very powerful in the past nearly 2 years I've been going. I've greatly benefited from every one and made it a point to go to all of them until I lost my car. I also have to say I always believe her. She doesn't exaggerate in any way and is one of the most beautiful, loving, honest spirits I've ever met on earth. Still, I had no idea how she was actually understating this experience. I received such a huge healing and opening last night! I had a lot of powerful messages come to me on Sunday before, during, and after that healing session. This included when I decided to do an angel card reading for myself to clarify what I was "hearing" and getting. Everything channeled during the meditation last night could have been said just for me because it was so fitting with the messages I started getting Saturday night and since. (Remember, I finally got to the point of surrender just this past Thursday - all this has been happening since then.) Last night really fit with what Rebekah channeled on Sunday from God and what the angel cards said that night. Then Debbie invited us to pull angel cards she had out, and the two I pulled further clarified things for me. Then last night and today, the messages were coming at me almost faster than I could receive and absorb them. It's been incredible. They've all built on the last, in sequence. They've revealed to me all I needed to know at this point about who I am and my purpose on earth. They redefined what I'd been told earlier and put all the pieces into a more cohesive whole. I've had all kinds of answers come to things I've been seeking. And I believe that the catalyst for all this was finally getting to the point of that first real surrender, and therefore being ready to receive. The power of the channeled message wouldn't have had the impact it did if I wasn't ready. And that should be the start of tomorrow's blog.