You have to credit Source when things happen, and to be aware and grateful. And you have to realize that Creator is - creative. So when things happen you have to be looking for them and recognize them as such. For example, a few times I've gotten money or a check in the mail as a gift - out of the blue. That's Creator using someone to supply my needs. All Love comes from Creator and He put it on their hearts to do that for me. And there are so many great messages in that, including that I'm loved, Loved, and will be helped, taken care of. Sometimes you have to be looking for the silver lining to see the blessing. I wrecked my beloved 15 year old car in February. I didn't end up with enough money to replace it. Instead, I ended up with enough money to live on for two months, right when I lost access to the only income source I had. I live right next door to a bus stop too, which is another source of supply for me. Not any easy one by any means, but I'm truly grateful. God and the angels also have great senses of humor, and I love those reminders. Two days ago I wrote some really specific needs and desires on a small piece of paper. The day I wrote it I used Reiki symbols to empower it, then held it between my hands to give it energy. Then I placed it on my heart and did the same. Yesterday I went to do that again. I again started with it between my hands after drawing the symbols. When I went to place it on my heart, it flew out of my hands and landed in my tote basket! I don't know about you, but I see that as a perfect sign. To me it means that the angels and God made my manifestation work take flight. And perhaps that's the biggest difference between those who receive guidance easily and those who don't. I realize what a fluke it was for that piece of paper to fly out of my hands and land way off to my left in the basket. I didn't for a moment think, "Wow, I couldn't do that again if I tried." Instead, I sat in awe for a moment, thought about it, and processed the message - "flew out of my hands - ah, my needs and desires taking flight." And then of course I thanked God and the angels.
As far as surrender, I have to tell you that surrender without steady action and responsibility means nothing. I am so very grateful for the bus stop beside me but today was not a comfortable day, and my feet are still very cold. I don't have a real rain coat so the one I wore was wet by the time I got to my second bus stop of the day. That bus had the air conditioning on for some reason, so I got very cold. I was out job hunting, running down every possibility I could. I stopped at an optical shop along my bus route and dropped off a resume because it's my chosen field and I could easily get there. Rather than calling to see if they have an opening, I was pro-active. Then I went to a job fair I could have skipped in favor of submitting an online application. I could have elected not to do any of this on a chilly, very wet day. I stepped in a big stream of running water after the job fair and waited in heavy rain for about 20 minutes for the bus. But if it gets me a job, it was all worth it. There are no guarantees that it will. But being responsible means you do all it takes. Surrender is not waiting for God to do it for you. You still have to fully do your part, but leave the outcome to God. It may not be worth what I went through today. It could be that nothing comes from it. That truly isn't up to me. What's up to me is to take responsibility for me actions and choose to do my part, over and over until it works. As in anything, "it's a numbers game." You hear that all the time in sales. If it take 99 "no" answers to get to a "yes," then you start joyously counting the "no" answers because they bring you that much closer. You never know in sales which time your pitch is going to work so you have to keep doing it. In sales you can't take responsibility for the outcome of any given presentation you make. Usually genuine activity is measured rather than just results. Writing a script is not genuine activity any more than creating a form to track your results is. You have to actually get out there and pitch your products or services to a potential buyer. So going out today may not get me a job, but I'm absolutely doing my part so God and the Universe can do theirs. Once I'm in motion, I can be directed and my activities pay off. My job is the motion, theirs is the pay off - the details, the timing, the place. They don't direct or give messages to those who are stagnating, just sitting and waiting for answers, or don't know what they want.
I talked with God while waiting for the first bus. I wanted to understand why I haven't found a job sooner, and this whole thing having to do with surrender. I received a partial answer to both. Before this I wasn't entirely clear on what I wanted so I hadn't committed with my full heart, set my intent fully. I still am not entirely clear on the subject of surrender because of free will, but it has to do with releasing the outcome. It's not that God needs us to give up our free will. It's that giving up trying to dictate the outcome is important. We need to get to the place where we will gratefully accept whatever is then given to us, whatever the outcome is. When we do that, we are able to actually receive something for our greater good, even if it isn't apparent that way at first. Go back to what I said about wrecking my car. I so loved that car, had it for 15 years. I'd waited years to have a car like that, and had suffered through much lesser cars in the meantime. I took very good care of my car and wouldn't have sold it to pay bills. And if I had, I wouldn't have gotten nearly as much as the insurance company paid me. So it was entirely against my known will to receive that money and give up my car. But if you had told me the choice was the car or staying in this house I would have made the decision to give up the car and stay in this house. And it would have been such a hard decision, would have bothered me for a long time to come. So for my highest good, the whole thing was taken out of my hands. I've learned a lot since then, including because of the way and timing of losing that car. I eventually saw the true blessing that was. One of the things I learned was that I do only want whatever is for my highest good in my life. I learned that there are lessons in all adversity. I learned to trust God more. And all that helped me get to the place of surrender, where I trust that no matter how things looks, my greatest good will come about. And I can trust that whatever comes that's my greatest good, may be better than what I thought I wanted. I can trust that it takes all my needs into consideration, in the proper measure and proportions. And I've learned that I can't really see what's in my highest good clearly because I have the human perspective rather than the All Knowing.
Because I write these blogs and am serving as a guide to others, I needed to learn all these lessons. I have people who look to me for help in navigating, and for hope. And I truly desire to serve God and others in these ways, and whatever other ways He calls me. I could make some really "lame" choices given my own wants and vision, and mess up without surrender. Think of headlights on a dark road at night. I can only see just so far and not beyond. And my heart's truest desires are to serve. So surrender helps me do that without my self getting in the way.
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