I just found myself thinking that the fastest way to make the phone ring was to go outside without it. I also thought the fastest way to finally remember to bring up a trash bag was to place the trash can by the steps. The first is actually a negative thought pattern and the second one is a strategy. By seeing the trash can on my way downstairs this time, I remembered to grab the bag I needed as soon as I came down. The first one may seem positive and they may seem similar but it's not and they aren't. First of all, my mind was trying to manipulate circumstances beyond my control, to make things happen, and in a negative way. The ideal would have been to have the phone on me and for it to ring with that call I've been awaiting. But instead of fixating on it, I simply need to be in the flow and let things happen as they will. I surrender my needs to God every day and it's not true surrender if you keep it on your mind and fret about it. Nor is it surrender if you're trying to manipulate circumstances in some way. So that thought about the phone was a signal to truly let go.
Even active energy workers who regularly work on positive thinking can get sucked back into a world of anger, unhappiness, and negativity. It happened relatively easily too. If you haven't cleared all old negative thought patterns, you can get sucked back in without even knowing it. Even those of us who have gotten rid of them for the most part can get sucked down when a bunch of things "go wrong." I had the best job interview last week that I've ever had. Before it was over I was told he'd call the next day (a Friday) to set the next interview for Monday with the regional manager. When I didn't hear from him I called last thing Friday, but haven't heard a thing since. Thing is, I've finally (with help) decided on a career. Two Fridays ago a friend was saying I should become an optician and I got so excited because the one job I loved was as Director of Education for the national non-profit that provided the training for opticians. I loved it so much that I studied our materials and attended our courses and became certified as an optician. So this would connect the best of my past to my current and future life. I immediately went on Craigslist and applied for a job, got a call on Sunday, had the interview on Thursday. It sounded like a perfect fit and that I was pretty assured of getting the job. Then this - no call, no return call, no interview. Now that I finally know just what I want to do and be, it's very frustrating and very hard to stay positive.
Even if you're working your "I Am" and manifestation statements, meditating, doing devotions or your equivalent, it's very easy to get sucked down. And if you have seemingly innocent negative thought patterns left over, it's even easier. Things like, "I know it will rain the day of the picnic. It always does" are not minor. Nor is it minor to think that if you take your umbrella it won't rain but if you don't it will. If you're running late and can't find your keys and think "that figures," that's a negative. It's part of a belief system we develop that says that you can expect trouble, and that trouble comes on top of trouble. Yesterday was one of those days for me. I had two very negative things happen within a half hour that caused me hardship. Yet more good came out of them than "bad," and I made it through the hardship without mishap. I could have wallowed in the hardship or acknowledged the good. It was hard to entirely acknowledge the good with my whole heart because I still have this job thing on my mind and heart. But that's what I have to do. And I have to get back to the place where I surrender truly, including the job I so want. I do have to say that my attitude toward the double trouble was not, "Of course trouble comes on top of trouble." Instead, I was very grateful to have both hardships going on at once, knowing they'd be over my today. One day of entirely going without was better than two partial days. It's all about expectations. I expect good things to happen unless proven otherwise and then I look for the lesson and how to change things. For the most part, I take "misfortune" as an opportunity to learn, grow, and heal. And to reinforce that, it's written into my "I Am" statements that I do that. So while I'm not always thrilled to have hardships and be learning yet another lesson, I take it as such. My attitude is different therefore, and I find it easier to flow with circumstances.
For the most part, I've cleared my negative thoughts and when one shows up and I recognize it, I get rid of it. I usually say, "Cancel, alt, delete" to say "I don't mean it" to the universe. Then I replace it with a positive thought. Every time you do that, you're retraining your mind to work on more positive levels. Over time, you do reform your thinking patterns, get rid of old negative patterns, and transform your life. The more you expect the positive, the more of it you're going to get. That's simply a universal law. It's called the "Law of Attraction," which is basically "like attracts like." So when you are putting out positive thoughts, positive reinforcement returns to you. But it also works with negative. I've had quite enough of the negative in my life and am ready for the positive so I've taken control of my thoughts. And it's so been paying off. It's worth the little bit of effort involved.
We develop negative thought patterns as we grow up and as adults experiencing the every day world. They become so ingrained that we don't even notice them. They're self-perpetuating. And it's actually part of a total belief system! It mirrors your beliefs about yourself, your life, and the world and the way it works for you. See, it's certainly no small or minor matter! It's an overall "everything happens to me" belief. I realize it may seem like this is a little disjointed but it's being rewritten with more compassion in mind. Originally it was written with several people I know in mind. Last night I was having trouble coping with my wants about this job and the silent phone. So I used Doreen Virtue's Angel Oracle Card decks - several in fact, searching for answers. One valuable lesson was about unforgiveness of self and others. I realized I was still blaming my ex husband for my current circumstances and problems. I don't want to be stuck in that so I released a lot of it. Another message was about compassion, working with Archangel Uriel, the "Psychologist Archangel." I've never worked with that angel before and it was a wonderful message and confirmation. Some of you know I've just started a degree program in psychology, to enhance my effectiveness in one of my missions for God. The message with Uriel is that he/she doesn't force change on anyone, but will help when the person is sincerely ready. Then the person retains his/her dignity and free-will. I realized that I've been feeling rather intolerant toward a few people lately and that I need more compassion. I need to not be blunt and judgmental, and I can be. The problem is that I'm working so hard to rise above all the problems in my life that could be entirely crippling and I see others who have it so easy compared to me, yet complain. And that's just total negativity on my part! Through the hardships yesterday I was led to draw cards and got a valuable lesson. I can lack feelings of compassion when I'm stuffing my feelings in order to retain an attitude of positive thinking. It also shows I still need to go further in surrender. True surrender wouldn't require stuffing feelings. So I still have further to go with that.
I will tell you two key words to look for and eliminate - "always" and "never." First of all, they simply don't belong in any relationship or in use toward any person or being. They are false illusions. People don't "always" or "never" do or think anything. They are very destructive words in a relationship because they fail to acknowledge any effort on the part of the other and the ability to change. They are also destructive words to use about ourselves, even if used in the positive. They're unrealistic, even if used in the positive. So if these words are in your vocabulary, please pay attention to when and how you're using them. They're usually a red flag.
Negative jokes are also signs of negative thought patterns, no matter what they're about. One of my pet peeves is those who think they're funny when they use "cheap" humor that's a put-down, like calling it "Taco Smell." People who do that regularly are those who are trying too hard to be liked. It's also very negative humor and no negatives create a positive. It's simply impossible. Yet positive plays on words are actually very funny. I'm still laughing over one from my good friend, Nick. We passed a sushi place and he just started singing, "If you knew sushi like I know sushi... Oh, oh, oh what a fish." (For those of you under the age of 80 and not named Susie, it's a very old song. "If you knew Susie like I know Susie... Oh, oh, oh what a gal." But he and I both know and love old music so I immediately got it. It was very clever and funny.)
I used to make silly little negative jokes about myself until someone lovingly called me on it. My favorite was to sing, "If I only had a brain" when I was having trouble thinking. My daughter and I had a whole slew of them and occasionally I'll indulge in one with her just for the familiarity and bonding. But I always know it's negative and try to entirely stay away from it. Yet a very positive one is lines from the movie "Space Balls." Generally, quoting movie lines is funny or cute, especially if you share a love of the movie. Nick will say, "May the Schwartz be with you" and I'll say, "And also with you." I have several friends who quote "Groundhog Day" with or to me (gee, imagine that - which another example of good humor that isn't negative, understatement). It's hard to get rid of all the self-depreciating humor, which tells me I still have some residual negative beliefs about myself. Part of total growth and healing is truly paying attention to these little signs and using them to learn, heal, grow, and change. That's what I keep telling you it's all about - an ongoing process that gets easier as you go along. Negative jokes about ourselves are actually the worst kind because we're making a joke at the expense of mentally and emotionally beating ourselves up! What could possibly be funny about that? Others may laugh, but I truly wonder what they're then thinking. Certainly, I think it's an invitation to others to make jokes at our expense. And it's got to show that we value ourselves less than we should.
So if your life is not all you wish it to be, if there's anything at all you wish to change, I suggest you pay attention to these thoughts and the things you say. This includes things you say to others as well as just to yourself. Controlling our lives and reaching our desired outcomes starts with controlling our thoughts and attitudes. It's in the things we say - they reflect our true attitudes.
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