I don't have a man in my life, nor do I have much direct family. My father died, my mother never was. I seldom see my children, almost never talk with my son or interact with him in any way. He's my baby and we're closely bonded, but he's currently struggling in life and therefore not communicating. Yet I have so much love and joy in my life!
I never know who I'm going to encounter in what way on any given day. But these days not a day goes by that my heart isn't warmed by someone special in my life. Without a car, it's seldom in person. But for awhile now I've been such a strong empath that I can read the feelings put into typing (text or chat) as well as most people detect the feelings in person or by phone. So I'm receiving the full impact (although in person is certainly superior). Earlier today I overflowed the love onto Rebekah Gamble. Perhaps that's why I got a text a little bit ago that just said, "I love you." The absolutely awesome thing is that she does that often! It means all the world to me when she does this. She's a daughter of my heart (not flesh) and I can hardly believe she's not my own, or that we've only known each other since May or so.
People love to say they want to die and come back as one of my cats. That's how I love my friends, all my dear ones. The result is that I have so much love in my life. I receive the kindest words, compliments, care, and blessings. Rebekah is just one example. One friend and his wife bought me a coffee maker because he didn't want me to have to take so long to filter coffee through a funnel without one. People have given and lent me money. People have taken me to job interviews. They've spread the word about my products and services and done all they can to help me. They've also taken me on errands. God has used many of the people in my life to bring me to Pittsburgh, get a house for me and the cats, and keep us here. I am so grateful to Him and to all of them.
There's a man on Facebook in California who's trying to get me to join a dating site, call him. He's very lonely, reaching out. Whenever someone reaches out to me my first reaction is to respond, try to meet his/her needs. So I responded to this man at first, and he wanted me to call him. I didn't have time at first. Now I realize I simply don't have time period, or won't make the time. I can't be a "lonely hearts club." It's not for me to do for, give to, and help everyone who comes to me. Some come to me for the wrong reasons, or for things I can't give them. I'm not sure what this man wants besides love and attention but from the suggestion of a dating site, I realize he's looking for love with a woman. That's where I see I'm not the one to help him, would only be wasting his time and mine. I won't be his girlfriend. I'm not looking for love, not open to that kind of relationship. I need to clarify that for you. I've been told that "him, whoever he is" does exist, my intended mate. I was told a few indicators. This man is linked to my life mission. I am totally open to this now. I'm not closed to a relationship with a man. I'm closed to a random one. All my life is about very specific things and my dear ones fit into that. So will this man, when he enters my life.
I have an abundance of cats and dear ones. Sometimes I wonder how I can keep up with them all and interact enough to satisfy their needs. But my friends are like the cats in that they don't usually all come to me or need me at once. The cats are largely self-sufficient and so are my friends and loved ones. Sometimes I think about the size of my inner circle of loved ones, and all the lovely people in my life. It absolutely amazes me! Most regular people are lucky if they have a few close friends. The inner circle I pray for daily includes 23 people and that doesn't include actual family! Those are not the only ones I pray for, just the ones I interact with regularly. As I've said, I went from the child who was under loved, under valued, and largely neglected to all this! The way it happened is that I just kept loving others, and appreciating every bit of love and care that came my way. The more I matured and learned to just freely give my love and care, the more what came back to me increased. The more that happened, the more I was able to get out of myself, extend myself, and love. Many years ago I learned to overcome my natural shyness by giving of myself and concentrating on drawing the other person out. I learned to make their feelings of prime importance, to concentrate on making others feel good. I learned to come out of myself.
I gain friends in amazing ways. Chrissy was the dental hygienist when I had to have a lot of dental work done around mid 2006, and we got to be close friends. She is Light and Love, giving, and so very kind. She's one of the most beautiful women I know. (Funny, some of the women I know who are most beautiful inside are also stunningly gorgeous on the outside. Chrissy is, and so is Rebekah.) The other day Chrissy sent me a message on Facebook. She said I light up a room when I enter, and draw people to me. That was one of the best compliments I've ever gotten. I've so wanted to be that kind of person for as long as I can remember. Now I understand that my ultimate goal is that, and to raise the vibrational level of all I interact with. Another way to put it is that I want to make a positive impact everywhere I go, with everyone I interact with. I want to leave each person better off and feeling better because we met or talked. And I want to do it at each and every encounter. So that's the intent I put out there, even when calling to pay a bill or make an inquiry. And it all comes back to me all the time. I never know who is going to bless or gift me how or when, only that they will. It can be something as simple as a smile from a bus driver I've engaged in friendly conversation. It all matters, all adds to the overall beautiful quality of my life. I always expect great things and great treatment these days - because that's what I'm putting out there, and what I'm therefore regularly getting.
No comments:
Post a Comment