Yesterday I watched the most meaningful, beautiful, moving show I've ever seen on TV - the final Oprah Winfrey show. Funny how things work. In my planner, I'd written a note to myself to share a certain lesson yesterday that's connected to her! I was going to postpone it until next week, but Oprah's show moved me to share today.
The Oprah in my life had the name of Fran Santi. She was my Tupperware distributor the one time I was entirely successful at the business, the only MLM type business I've done well with. This was the middle 80s, around the time Oprah started her 25 year show. (I tried selling Tupperware several times in later years with less success due to other things going on in my own life at the time.)
First, a little about Fran. She could have been Oprah's twin soul! Their tastes, actions, leading, even their mannerisms were so similar! Fran loved to shop, do things with "the girls" (her managers), give lovely gifts to those who met business quotas. Back then Tupperware had the greatest reward system for doing our jobs. You qualified for gifts based on monthly & quarterly goals. Fran always added to that & broke it down into even smaller time periods to help with incentive. Therefore, her distributorship was one of the top distributorships in the country, had some of the country's top managers. And me.
One mistake I always made was to compare myself to the top managers & feel like a failure. Please people, don't do that to yourselves! Just be the best YOU can be!!! I didn't paint for 30 years because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to paint my vision, my style. What a waste! I'm not Renoir & never will be but I love painting now & people enjoy my art! Of course at first I didn't paint my vision & style. First I had to learn to paint & then begin to find my self. It's still a process, but you can't get there unless you start! It ended up taking me less than 2 years to begin to find my style! Please don't compare yourself to others. It just doesn't matter in the least how you stack up. It only matters that you do it, express yourself, do your work, work your calling, use your talents. The beauty of hand-made things is in the uniqueness, the imperfections. Otherwise, you might as well just have something a machine made! The same is true with each of us. We are all imperfect but have great beauty inside, differing talents & abilities. I can't fix electronics, have a limited understanding of computers - the list of things I'm not good at goes on. Some people excel at those things, for which I'm grateful. Then there are many things I can do to varying degrees that they can't. Those are my talents & gifts. Mine differ from everyone else's in degree & as a whole. So comparing myself to anyone else is just plain wrong. I don't need to be great at everything. I just need to continue to practice the things I'm called to do, have been given an inclination & talent for.
When I first got into Tupperware, I had no real self image, self confidence, sense of self. I had no friends, no close family. That time in Tupperware changed my life entirely, mostly due to Fran & one of her top managers. That manager is a valued friend to this day. She took me under her wing & taught me how to be successful. She cared, as did Fran. She & Fran believed in me & invested their time. I made friends & found myself.
Fran taught me one of the most valuable lessons ever. She did an exercise with her managers at a monthly meeting. She had each of us write down one word to describe each of the other managers, then fill a basket for each of us with them. Turns out every single one of them came up with the word "sweet" for me. I was shocked. Afterwards I requested some time with her. I wanted to know what to do with what I'd just learned, & how to be more successful in the business.
She taught me that every human trait is a double-edge sword. I remember her words to this day. Each of our traits is 2 sides of a coin, "good" & "bad." The difference is what we do with the trait. For example, the kid who always got in trouble in school for talking in class could go on to earn a great living as a public speaker. That day she taught me that "sweet" is something I could make the most of, with intent & awareness. She said I could use it to draw people to me, create an atmosphere where people wanted to have me do Tupperware parties for them & more people would also attend. I had new confidence & awareness after that, & went on to be tops in sales among some of the best some weeks.
Better yet, it was the beginning of truly knowing myself, seeing myself as others see me, as who I truly am. She cut through all those negative messages I'd been given. It totally changed how I feel about myself, see myself. She opened the first tiny door to my soul that day. It was the beginning of coming into my own, to a new life. After that I felt loved, felt like I belonged. I blossomed & soared. I conducted trainings, hired a team, earned awards. We lost Fran to cancer a few years later, shortly after the birth of my son. Everything in my life at that time moved me out of selling Tupperware. But I've never forgotten Fran, never ceased to be grateful, to love her & talk about her. And in my heart I'll always be a Tupperware Lady!
So, what is your defining characteristic(s)? What don't you like about yourself? How can you turn that around, into positive use? The rest of Fran's lesson was that you can change whatever displeases you about yourself simply by flipping that coin, a turning of the edge of that sword. It's a choice we all can make. Instead of making excuses for ourselves, we can take action & bring those traits into positive uses, change our intent.
Most of us have potential we aren't using yet. What's yours? Is it that you're balancing the coin on the edge, neither using a trait for positive or negative impact - simply ignoring it? Or is there some part of your self or your life that you need to put a more positive spin on? It's as simple as awareness & intent. That was the thrust of Fran's lesson. Two sides to the coin, two edges to the sword - the choice is up to you!
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