Some people solve complicated computer problems & glitches. What I do is solve "concept into word" problems & "vague feelings into words." I work at it until I get it & sometimes it take me pages. I've been working around today's subject for some time now.
Today I wrote to someone, "You truly won't be given more to handle than you're ready for at any one time, no matter how it may feel. That's said from experience, not a regular platitude. In fact, I promise not to ever platitude you." One of the things I'm finding with a God-centered life is all those old platitudes coming to life with personal experience. I was saying that I've received so many emotional healings in the last 8 months, one after another. It's gotten to be one a week or more it seems. Some are "revisits," where some healing has already taken place & more is needed. Others are another aspect of an old issue that also needs healing. But if you've been reading my blogs, you understand that I've had a whole lot to heal from. Some of the healings have been pretty major, & they've been coming regularly, really speeding up these days. But it's never been more than I can handle at any one time, & only one comes to the forefront at a time. Within 12-36 hours of identifying a need for emotional healing, I've received at least the first step in it. Then usually something else comes forward - back & forth until I'm progressing in amazing ways. And that's just one platitude. It's also the only one I can think of at the moment.
In this way, in a short amount of time I've come to understand things in a whole new way, through personal experience, that I thought I understood before. Love & trust, faith & hope are just some of them. I look at people & life - everything - differently than I have before. And I feel very different about myself, my traits, every aspect of my life. Parts of me that were always a burden now are not. For example, I always loved too deeply, cared too much, had too many talents to know what to do with or use, too many interests & passions to pursue & follow up on. These things were always sources of pain, frustration, & discomfort within myself. A lot of times it was no fun being me! I wouldn't have wished it on anyone. I also wouldn't have ever wished many of my life experiences on anyone, & worked to try to spare others what I'd lived.
All that has been transformed. I love even more than I used to, & it feels great. Instead of loving anyone or anything too much, I now love everyone & everything, including finally truly loving myself. My compassion has deepened in the same way - no longer too much for any one person but greater compassion overall. My talents have found focus & my passions have found purpose, so I'm no longer burdened & frustrated. All that intensity focused on a few wasn't good for the one's focused on or me. That's all changed.
Even "turn it over to God" has changed. I present it to God just as I would to a trusted friend, then continue to work on it by staying open to the solution. Sometimes you tell a friend just to get empathy. Sometimes you want help with a solution. You haven't surrendered anything - you're opening to suggestions, listening to what your friend has to say. If you aren't sure about the answer, you think about it some more, contemplate what was said until your heart confirms or you decide that wasn't the answer. With God, if you think that wasn't the answer then you need to consider the question. Often I find that one answer leads to another question, which is fine. It's another step along the path. If needed, I keep questioning until I come up with the answer I need because I've finally asked the right question. Think about it - it's that way with friends too. If you want to know how to get to a store from where you are, you have to make sure you're clear about where you are & which store you mean, maybe even which location vs. another. If you have the right store & right starting point but aren't clear about the specific location, you can end up in another town altogether, pretty confused. Ok, that's a tangent I didn't know I was going to take here, but a good, descriptive one! People often wonder why turning it over to God doesn't work for them & think it's a sign that He doesn't care, doesn't get involved, or there's something wrong with them. No - it's either that you're dumping it & walking away rather than listening, or you need to alter your question to get what you're really trying to get.
That's another thing - what we ask God for & what we get, which goes to intention & is a full topic in itself. I now have a better understanding of that, too. Also, I need to speak of my new relationship with my self. So, stay posted!
No comments:
Post a Comment