Clean Living - Part II

For truly clean living we need to clear & clean our environment inside & out. We have to take care with all we put into our bodies & minds, & clean out that which no longer serves us. The same is true of our homes. I have a friend who's trying to move forward with healing & spiritual growth, become a true healer. She's just given up caffeine, so she's starting to take care with what she puts into her body. But she hasn't entirely cleared out her old ways of thinking. Although she's only been separated for just over a year & is not divorced, she's dating one man & seeking more through personals. Without giving herself time to heal from being used & abused, while still tied to the old & his energy, she's seeking validation from others. It's taken her away from her spiritual path & put her squarely into the old energy of want & need. It is so easy to be overcome by the old when we're lured off our path of growth. Whatever hasn't been healed yet becomes a trap. The man she's dating came into her life & became her focus instead of her spiritual path. It was subtle, because he appears to support her path. Whether he truly does or not doesn't matter right now because the effect was a diversion that allowed all the old, unhealed insecurities to flood back in.

One of the benefits of my weekend away was healing - replacing bad memories from my last trip to Maryland with new ones. Another was it gave me a chance to confront my current feelings & see what healing is still needed. I was very nervous & upset while in the Hagerstown area, where I believe my ex is staying. It's also where I had most of my life with him. So I see the need for further healing, & also got to see how much healing I still need before I'm ready for a relationship with a man. I had a lovely date with a man who's been my BFF for about 23 years. Since this was a date I was dealing with him as a man as well as my BFF & the man part was very hard for me. It was a great start though - going out with the one man on earth I know for sure would never hurt me, intentionally or not. I knew going into it that it was part of the next step to healing for me, & of course he knew it too. When you're in the healing process, total honesty with significant others or potentials is a must. We were both clear with each other beforehand that neither of us is willing to relocate or be in a committed relationship. Part of the safety factor is that ours is an entirely established relationship full of total honesty & mutual respect. You have to be very careful while healing because often you don't know your own true needs & weaknesses, & can therefore easily but unintentionally hurt others. That only leads to further hurt for yourself too, & definitely sets up more messes to clean up. More on my weekend tomorrow.