Within the past week I was given a message through my healer friend & neighbor, Sandra Bear Davis, about my own healing. This goes back to my great need for physical healing connected to that cancer scare, & a pervasive bout of eczema that started just before I went to the doctor for the first condition. Anyway, part of the message was that I need to get to the place where I'm pretty much floating in joy most of the time. Since I got there some days during my devotional times, I knew what she meant. The thing that was getting me there for time to time was surrendering my deepest loves to God during my prayer time. I used to pray in supplication for others. Then I prayed by thanking God as if the healings & blessings were already in evidence. Now I do that but with those I love most deeply or with those who the relationship gives me some kind of trouble, I surrender the feelings entirely to Him & that has brought on that floating.
For example, I completely give Him my feelings for & about my mother & my most recent ex husband. I've been doing that for a couple of weeks or so & I've noticed a huge different this week. Two days ago during a drive in the country, my "I see a groundhog" noise/song came out of my mouth without warning. I then realized I hadn't done that playful thing in nearly 3 full years! I'm not sure if you're getting it, but I was so traumatized from the ending of my marriage & how it all went down plus the aftermath. And that song was part of the good times, the play & joy of the marriage so for that to slip out of my mouth was huge. But it came from the simple step of surrendering my feelings about Jack to God, which led to sincerely requesting that they be used for his highest good & healing, & mine also. And so it's worked so quickly, for me at least! I'm not in contact with Jack to know what's happening for him & it's not up to me or any part of me anyway. After all he did & the choices he made, it's all between he & God. But my healing is coming about because I've so forgiven to the point that I genuinely want the best for him. Last night another huge bit of healing took place. I was telling a new friend about how the marriage ended & instead I told her all the highlights - how we got together & the really good parts of the relationship & what he & it did for me. And that too was so healing!
I'm now finding that my prayer times & the results of them are really taking care of most of my greatest needs, quickly & easily. What marvelous manifestation! So this new woman has entered my life in a huge way because we apparently have tandem life missions. I'm much older chronologically so you'd think I'd be wiser & be guiding her. And since I'm so full of mother energy, that's usually my role with others. But I'm learning & being helped by her even more than the other way around! For example, today I was journaling in between doing my angel work & prayers, which is part of why this is so late. I'd just gotten done asking Archangel Michael to help me work on setting a schedule & the activities for it so that I'd be absolutely doing everything I can to move forward with my work & financially. Just after I got done saying that she sent me a text saying she could help me with that. She had no idea what she said that about. But she saw a question mark & me & smelled me & was given those words to text to me in response to that. And I immediately believed her & figured it was in direct response. I don't believe she trusts me as such a huge source for her yet, but I already know to trust. Then again, I don't have the kinds of trust issues she does any more, despite my most recent ex. I got rid of my deep trust issues in the late 1980s, when I was embraced by my first non-related family, the congregation of Mayo United Methodist church. Long-time readers, you know I've mentioned this church before, how it's truly a family the way it's supposed to be.
One of the things I'm doing these days in my prayer time is repaying gifts & kindnesses to me through God. If you've been reading my blogs for awhile you know I have an issue with independence vs. dependency, on asking for & receiving help rather than being the giver. Now I ask God to bless those who have been kind to & given to me in measure to what they've given to me, knowing that His measure is just huge! It's really helping my heart to do this. And all these things are increasing my faith, trust, beliefs & joy.
Last night this young woman & I had a 5 1/2 hour "getting to know you & what you're all about" conversation. We each shared things we've seldom ever shared with others, including our life missions & connections, beliefs. As a result, I know way more than I did at the start of our talk & realize what a huge adventure is unfolding. I also realize that I'm going to have this great & exciting mutual companion to work with & share it all with. I can't tell you how important that partnership or community support is, but will devote a whole blog to that & a related topic. I realize that the promise of the new energies is unfolding. There was that solar eclipse on Sunday & we're now supposed to be into "leaps & bounds" progress energy, & I saw it at work last night. So today I'm just soaring with joy! I can't tell you how glorious this feels, but I know I'm not the only one who needs to get to this place - you all do! I looked up the hill in front of my house & this time saw the wall of trees behind the houses across the street, & how magnificent they are. I can't tell you how many times I've looked up there & haven't really seen it. Before that I looked out my back kitchen window over the sink (so how many times have I looked out there - come on, I do dishes after every meal) & realized how beautiful my back yard is, what an oasis, & how much I love it. In fact, I'm just so overflowing with love & joy that I really am practically floating. Now, you need to understand that nothing else has changed other than attitude, joy, & gratitude. I still have eczema on the bottoms of both feet to the point that at first this morning it was very hard to walk. I've been living with this for more than a month! And I need about $1200 - $1500 ASAP because of cut off notices for utilities & rent coming due soon. Yet I'm so very grateful for the adventure in my life & what's happening, combined with all that is. I'm grateful for the physical afflictions! I'm grateful for the bills due. I'm grateful that I don't currently own a car. I have truly become really grateful for all that is in my life & that's how I'm able to float on joy. I have no idea how & when my body will heal or my circumstances will change & these "unfortunate" things will be overcome. All I know is that it's coming. I see how far I've come in the last few years & it's amazing. I know some of what I'm here for & I know I won't be doing it in poverty & debilitating disease so I have total faith & gratitude. And that's the "helium" of joy & gratitude creating my floating effect!
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