Reality Check

I lead a very uncommon life, especially now. Most of my friends & the people I associate with are metaphysicals, usually healers of some sort. These people speak the same language I do, & we learn from each other. We share stories of a variety of experiences I'd only heard of in the past. Last night I was talking with a man I know (I'll call him N.) about the fact that we both have a black panther as our main animal guide, & he mentioned shapeshifting. Just prior to hearing about Reiki, the most "outlandish" things I'd ever thought of or read novels about were about cats solving mysteries, talking cats (both the themes of 2 of my favorite sets of novels), time travel (romances based on it have fascinated me for decades), & the novels that are the basis for the HBO series "True Blood." As a teen I read Edgar Cayce & lots about telepathy & such, & believed in these things, I read a book about the true possibility of time travel. I had a real tendency to believe in ESP, telepathy, etc. Besides the novels centered around cats & their people, the Sookie Stackhouse books that became "True Blood" are my favorite. I love the way Sookie finds out that all the things she'd heard about & never believed in, like vampires & werewolves, were real & became a part of her life one by one. She takes it all in stride, with wit & humor & they're truly fun books. Sometimes I feel like I live a Sookie Stackhouse adventure, only she usually ends up in danger & I don't.

The point is that I'm experiencing the things that fascinated me & finding out that so many "outlandish" things are actually possible. Not only that, I'm finding I have a true affinity & gift for many of these things. I regularly talk with "the dead," for one thing. I commune with them, with angels, with ascended masters. I regularly receive messages from God & the angels & feel I know & understand them pretty well. I live my life now devoted to fulfilling my missions in life, working for God. My life is nothing like it was in the past, when I was career driven, deeply involved in parenting my young children & trying to make a life for us. It's entirely different than it was 2 years ago when I was trying to survive with a husband who just wouldn't work but kept talking & planning for it, was dominating me & my abusive mother. I was caught between 2 abusers & developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder at some point, I'm not sure when. The last phase of my life before this one was trying to work from home, be a homemaker, be a wife to Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde, satisfy his deviant & insatiable sexual desires, but also having some freedom to develop my artistic talents & gifts. I lived on a farm (a lifelong dream) & was surrounded by all the wildlife I could possibly desire, & was out of the rat race & able to drop my former Type A behaviors. As a result, I developed a calm & peace that permeated my surroundings, so remarkable that every visitor did remark on it. It wasn't always there. It was interrupted at some of the worst times by Mr. Hyde, but most of the time it was there despite the constrictions on my life & self. Despite it all, I was in the process of becoming my true self. During that time I realized that I no longer fit the Methodist church because of my firm belief in reincarnation, & I began studying Sylvia Browne & David Michael Walsh, looking for affirmation & answers.

The other day I was talking with N. & he was talking about how his friends & family call him weird because of his beliefs, activities, & path. Last night I was saying that every once in awhile I see my life, beliefs, activities, & attitudes from afar, as if through the eyes of others, & think about how weird it all must seem. Then I wonder, just for a moment, if I've gone off the deep end or if I'm the one living right, the one who "gets it" & they don't. I said that to a group of metaphysics & it was interesting to note that one person said that's pretty normal & shows I'm not nuts. She said that it's those who don't wonder who are in trouble, not those who do. And I know that, actually, but it was nice to hear it too.

I know I've mentioned this lately but I've been dealing with some dissatisfaction in my work & world, in my life. My answer to that has been to actively work toward finding out why so I can solve it. These days I don't have to wait long for answers, like I used to, for things to come to me. I've progressed so far that answers are nearly immediate most of the time, or come within days. I don't have to work at it like I used to. I did an angel card reading on myself & an action plan formed because of it but part of it was centered on working my greatest passions & figuring that out has been illusive lately. I was told to journal to figure it out, so I've been diligently journaling every little thing in an effort to truly get in touch with myself & my feelings & needs. From that I was able to figure out my greatest passions & interests, separate them from the things I do because I think I should. Then yesterday my neighbor & friend, Sandra Davis, came over to chat. She ended up delivering a message about me she'd been given as part of a message about healing she needed to hear. She is a wonderfully gifted channel, healer, & guide! The things she told me entirely fit & completed the picture I'd been coming up with on my own, so was very welcome. I've gotten a lot of help with this once I truly set my intent & made it my work this week to come up with these answers & really make effective changes. You see, I almost got upset because we passed the middle of the month & I don't have the money at the moment for the bills or the rent due at the beginning of June, don't know how I'll get it exactly. Instead of getting upset or worried though, I concentrated on figuring out what I need to be doing to unblock things & get them to start flowing. Along with the answers, I've had some amazing affirmations, reminders, messages, & reality checks!

The messages have basically been to go even deeper than I already am, to get to the point that I'm almost always practically floating above the world in joy & gratitude! This comes as I've wondered if I'm not grounded enough, have my head in the clouds vs. in reality. There were also concrete & new ideas of things I can do with my gifts & talents to earn in less traditional ways, & about my true needs. Some of the messages are about changes I need to make in my life, things I've kind of known at times but have resisted.

The affirmations & reality checks have come mostly from my 2 closest friends in the world. Tuesday I talked for several hours with Jenny, who's been my best friend since 1992. I hadn't talked with her since December 27. At that time I was pretty down, going through a period of restructure that led to release, always a painful thing. There are some things I want to tell you about Jenny in my life. When I met her I was fiercely independent & going through my first divorce, single parenting. Out of a tough life, I've had 3 of the toughest periods during my childhood, the 90s when I was going through divorce & custody battles & single-parenting, & the decade or so after with my 2nd husband. In the 90s, in addition to the parenting & divorce issues, I recovered my childhood memories of the abuse I'd suffered, & had that to deal with on top of & during it all. The only way Jenny & I could be closer would be if we were lovers. She knows & understands me better than anyone else who currently walks the face of the earth, even my own children, who know & understand me very well. She knows things they don't & understands it all, thoroughly understands me. And she was with me through the most trying time of my adult life, as I came to understand what I lived, & lived through the nightmares surrounding the care & wellbeing of my own children. When I talked with Jenny, I caught her up on what's happened between December 27 & now. I told her just briefly of the difficult winter & early spring, the wreck of the car & my current circumstances. Then I told her of my life now & how I'm handling things. If you read my blogs you know all this - I've made it abundantly clear how I cope & handle my life. I've made it clear that I view my life as an adventure that unfolds in new ways every day. After only telling her part of it, she said it's amazing. She so totally gets it! Remember, she knew me when! And she's not metaphysical. In fact, in October 2010 I offered to do Reiki on her & she wasn't interested. I had just been attuned to Reiki I & was taking refuge with her for 2 weeks while waiting to see if my now ex would vacate the house & turn himself in for his jail sentence. I did do Reiki on her the following October during a visit, & she became a real believer in it then. However, she's simply spiritual rather than a "follower." She's definitely firmly in the 3rd dimensional world. So that she "gets it" & said my life is amazing is pretty darned cool. Then she added that I'm pretty amazing myself, which was the greatest compliment from the highest authority on earth, to me.

Last night I was talking with my Pam. We've now been friends for about 2 years & were verbally celebrating the anniversary of that. She was telling me that earlier in the day she thought about how far we've both come in this time, how phenomenal it all is. That was reality check #2. I've blogged recently about all this - my new sensitivity to crystals & energy fields, my emerging abilities. I've really only scratched the surface of it, all the amazing experiences in my life now. Almost everything I longer for is in my life now as far as metaphysical abilities. I still want to shapeshift, journey more, be able to give group guided meditations, do past life regressions, fly with lightning bugs, play with fairies, & fully know & commune with my council including my departed loved ones, but it's all coming I know. I mean, my goodness - I now "talk" with plants!

Last night another reality check came from a stranger at a fire circle. She was just passing through & was amazed that I live right next door to Sandy, & how it came to pass. I haven't told the story in awhile, had forgotten the magic & impact. So it was wonderful to hear her reaction to the amazing pull & series of events that brought me here.

Today I was contemplating on this, was given the message for this blog, thinking about how all the people I associate with these days on a regular basis are metaphysicals. At that point I was reminded of the major life-changing readings I got on April 30 & May 1 last year. I was told that my old life was about over & that my life would change entirely after that. I was told that old friends would fall  by the wayside & I'd move on. That hasn't entirely happened, but I very seldom talk with them & none of them live in this state. I was told that younger souls need my help & would be my clients but not friends. My friends would be other Lightworkers. They would be the ones I associate with, want to spend my time with, socialize with. And that's become entirely true, & I'm blessed with more & more in my life all the time! And that's the final reality check in my mind. Life is truly unfolding as it should, as predicted. Yes, they all speak my language & I'm not at all weird to them. That's the way it's supposed to be.