Legacy, Our Footprints on Earth

We all leave footprints on earth. I often think about this. My mother left the printed word better for having been involved in it. I do that too. But she will die friendless, with only paid caretakers & no one will really mourn her greatly. Her legacy is selfishness, total self-centeredness to the Nth degree. My father left a legacy with the Portland, Oregon police force & many there. Both left children & grandchildren. I was created by them but not nurtured or really loved by them. My father left little imprint on my life except absence & need.

Today my daughter said that I welcome & accept everyone as family & that's part of what she loves about me. That was a great blessing to my heart & again started this line of thinking. I'd like that to be part of what I'm known for, part of my legacy. Part of my legacy is the 2 children I produced & raised. I did my best to teach them my values toward the care & treatment of others, the earth, those on it, animal & human. My daughter too welcomes & accepts everyone as family, & I'm very proud of that in her. It's one of the things I really love about her.

You can't create a legacy or image for yourself. You have to model it every day, throughout your life. My recent ex tried to live a persona instead of actually doing. He modeled a lie to the extent that he largely believed it. I remember him insisting to me that he was a good person, in a pleading tone, wanting me to agree. This was about a month before he looked me in the eye & told me he'd kill my mother if she called the police on him again for stealing her entire life savings! He wanted people to look up to him, to think that he was big, powerful, successful. Yet he wouldn't work! He wanted people to think he was kind & gentle, truly caring. Yet he got his only real sexual pleasure from hurting & controlling me! It was all about him & I was just the object. Now his legacy reflects him truly. He's a convicted felon who's done jail time, thanks to me. His friends & children are ashamed of him. The illusions are at least partially gone. I have no idea how he now thinks of himself, but everyone else fully sees him for what he truly is.

You can't forever hide what's in your heart & what kind of person you are. And your legacy will be just that. I try to live all day every day in alignment with my values & my self. I try to be the best me I can be at all times. I want my footprints to be gentle on this earth. I walk carefully around the cats in my home & all animals & people. I try to put out nothing but love, empathy, caring, kindness. I want to create love & family, spread unconditional love, understanding, & healing to all I meet. I want to provide the love & care that people lack. I try to fill my own needs by knowing I've filled the similar needs of others rather than trying to get what I need. I don't give love to get love. I give love to make sure others don't hurt as I have hurt. I touch to give love. I communicate to share & give. My heart is to improve the lives of others. Yes, I so want to be loved, accepted, cared for, treasured. But even more so, I want to do those things for others. Yes, I want to be healed, but I'm also very concerned about providing healing for others. I hurt for the needs of others just as I hurt for my own, & I have a great need to ease the suffering in any way I can. I also so feel this toward animals. And so every day of my life is primarily about these things.

I want to be known for the people & animals I've loved & helped. In that, I want to have made the biggest mark possible on earth. It's not that I want to be known or make a name for myself in any way. Part of me would love some fame & fortune, but not so much for or from that. I love performing, loved playing clarinet solos & leads. And who doesn't want prosperity? I'd love being an acclaimed public speaker. But again, part of that would be knowing I was getting the message out. I would love to be a published author, with a large number of book sales. That goes more back to the music performances. I'd love to sell my paintings, have them valued. Again, that speaks to valuable talent, being able to produce something from within myself that has measurable value as art. But most of all, I want to love & help, animals & people. I want my children to reflect this kind of heart & project it around them & continue my legacy. I want to spread love, healing, grace, beauty, peace, love, contentment, & fulfillment to everyone I can, everyone around me. (I had to edit that last sentence because healing is so important to me that I accidentally included it again at the end of the list.) None of this is because of how I want to be remembered - it's simply what's in my heart. And I live my life according to my heart values & promptings every day now. As I result, the payoff happens to be in the present. I get all that coming back to me & more. I reap what I sow, am greatly blessed in return. And that flow continues because I continue to give, live according to my values, & am totally grateful for all that comes to me as a result.

I believe that everything we do & say is a single drop of water on the surface of a pond. It creates only a small ripple that we can see, & soon no longer visible. But it matters. Just because we don't see much doesn't mean it's not happening. We don't see air either (no, that's not air silly, that's pollution). Every good thing you do or say creates positive reactions that can be far reaching & the same is true of every negative. You simply can't unsay something or take back words or deeds. And once you've said or done them, the effects are like & entirely out of your control. You have no idea what chain of events you've set off. So I try to always & only do & say positive things, to create the best effects. And doing good can be truly free. Anyone & everyone can do it. One thing I believe is that if you have anything positive to say, go out of your way to say it & say it immediately. With phone, Facebook, & email it's easier than ever & free or virtually so. I will sometimes get online just to do that so I do it in the moment, before I forget or lose the full emotion & thought. And when I think of something I can do for someone, I do my best to make it happen, as quickly as possible. My economic situation doesn't currently allow me to be a financial giver but there's still plenty I can & do manage to do for others. If nothing else, giving love, true listening, & care are always free.

I can't control my legacy through my children. I can't control whether people are going to like or love me, be kind or giving. I can't control what people think or say of me. So I don't concern myself with any of those things. Instead, I bask in those who treat me kindly, give me love & good attention & walk away from the rest. I do control what I can, which is my actions, reactions, & attitudes. And I live purposefully every single day, in alignment with what I believe is important. So I am actually creating my legacy, as I'm very careful of my footprints.