I was attuned to Reiki I at the beginning of October 2010, so that was 19 months ago. The guy who told me about Reiki "warned" me that it would entirely change my life, especially starting with my second attunement. It's Sunday, I'll post this tomorrow. This past week has been a monumental transformation week for me, & the energies of the brightest full moon has been wonderful over the weekend. Yesterday I took full advantage of it, to meditate, process, receive messages.
There is much in my life & self that's bigger than me, bigger than I can handle on my own. My most beloved daughter & I have been having discussions about this during the past week. I attuned her to Reiki I last October, & I see the openings & changes happening within her too as a result. I'm so thrilled. For some years now we've been able to really share with each other & now we have the spiritual too, & it's humbling & awesome to be guiding her! It's profound.
We were talking last week about some feelings I've been controlling & stuffing for many years now. I know that I'm a master at that but when she so agreed with me, I asked her to explain & got new perspective. She was telling me that I'm one who always tries to do what's right in all areas of my life, in all ways, toward all others, in all situations. So I have stuffed many of my needs & feelings in the process - managed them, controlled them & myself, in an effort to do no harm & put others & duty first. I'm still sitting with that one. While it's admirable, it's also extremely significant for my life & not entirely healthy. In fact, it's often fairly unhealthy. I need better balance in this. I realize it's one of my defining traits, one I really need to examine.
As I said, I've been controlling & stuffing some feelings for many years now, & they emerged fully a week ago with great insight, a new perspective after 21 years! I realized that I have to do something about a huge piece of unfinished business here rather than continue to stuff, control, & manage my feelings. I realized that my heart chakra has been cleared by releasing & handling these feelings, but I had to figure out what to then do with them. I realized that I needed to just daily give them to God, & it immediately transformed my prayer life because I've started now doing that with all my most beloved ones. I'll confess that my prayer life had become rather routine. I have a prayer list in my head that I actually "see," so I don't forget anyone. I've been praying for these people in order for quite a long time now, adding people as needed. So my list goes down one column, has a second, & has people written in between the columns as they were added. Truly, I worked my list daily that way! I no longer do that.
I have feelings for people that are out of my control. Some are bigger than me by far. Some are too complex for me. I can't directly do anything about or for any of these people. Examples are my mother & my most recent ex, but there's also huge love for several people who aren't in my life any more, & I can't do anything to change that, bring them back in. So I've started giving that love to God, who, after all, is the Source of that Love. I give it to Him for the highest good He can do for that person, & for whatever healing I need in this. It's transformed my prayer life because my prayers are now not at all routine & so heart centered as to involve my entire, deepest heart. My prayer time is now profound & deeply moving for me. I can hardly wait to see what's going to happen as a result, in their lives & mine, & what experiences I'm going to have from this!
Yesterday I did an angel oracle card reading for myself for the first time in a long time. I used Doreen Virtue's Archangel Michael deck & received some valuable new messages & prayers to Michael & other angels. Today I wrote them out & uttered them for the first time. And for the first time, I held my new radio clear quartz crystal to my heart as I did my work aloud - "I Am" statements, manifestation statements, & my angel prayers (the angel work I always mention). I've come so far in all this too. A few months ago I doubted the power of healing crystals because I just wasn't feeling it. Then a friend took me to one of the Carnegie museums, that has a room full of them. I spent about 45 minutes there & so many of them are healing crystals that I was flying by the time I left the room. So I no longer doubted, & ended up being more sensitized afterwards. I purposely drank in the healing energy every time I stood looking at one of the healing crystals, so the intent was there too. Then my BFF Pam sent me a very special radio quartz crystal & I could feel the power as soon as I touched it. She was "told" this was the one for me & boy is it! I put it in the sun for 24 hours to charge it & use it now in my card readings & Reiki & it's totally magnified my efforts.
Not only am I now more sensitized to crystals, but I've seen my psychic gifts & talents opening & progressing hugely lately, one experience after another. Yesterday I was shown a photo of a dog in need of emotional healing. When I do Distance Reiki on an animal, I like to see a photo first so I can fix the image in my mind & heart. Then when I go to do Reiki, I connect with the animal & communicate. This time, after a moment of concentration & looking into the eyes of the dog in the photo, I totally connected! The dog gave me a full emotional profile of his needs, which I could translate as he "spoke" to me. When I talk of speaking with animals, that's how the communication goes. They speak in pictures & emotional messages that I then have to translate into English. Although when they want to communicate with their people through me, it's given to me straight in English so it's an accurate message of what the animal wishes to say. Through my angel work today & the ease with which I'm getting messages & visions these days, I see that a whole world is opening to me swiftly & fully, & I'm thrilled. The other day I visited with my beloved Grandpa, who died in 1985. I almost saw him in physical form. His height was there in relationship with mine, he "spoke" with me (more like the dog did than words), & then he held me in his arms & I almost physically felt it. Then Grandma joined us in a group hug. When I first moved here, I wasn't aware of the energies of this place, but I'm gaining that awareness too. I'm receiving visions & messages from my angels & guides too, in response to my requests for greater relationship with them. All the things I longed for as I learned they were possible, early in this journey after my first attunement, is coming to me now & it's glorious.
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