As an energy worker, some boundary issues have become apparent lately & I feel the need to cover them. Some who read this blog are energy workers & most are regular clients. You all need to understand the greater importance of boundaries in our lives. Energy workers come in many different modalities. Some use their own energy as a basis for healing & some channel the energy. Reiki uses channeled energy rather than our own, for example. Those of us who channel energy tend to find ourselves in a state of grace after channeling. Those who channel tend not to get depleted by doing energy work, but we still need lots of extra care because of the work we do. For one thing, we are exposed to all the negatives when we do our work. We deal with mind, body, & spirit disease & those who carry them. We work not to absorb any of it but we have to dwell in that atmosphere while helping. Energy workers are humans in the first place, with all the same needs for rest, peace, happiness, wellness, socialization & play that everyone has. But in addition, we require regular renewal due to the negativity that surrounds us when we do our work.
All heart centered energy workers are very friendly & loving, & we attract a multitude of people. The people we attract & help feel especially close to us & many end up considering us to be friends in the traditional sense. They try to treat us just as they do their other friends. They expect to be included in the kinds of information that people only share with their closest circle of friends & family. They expect us to call & message them on a friendship level or turn to them for emotional support when we need it. And they expect to be able to call us & chat about whatever is on their minds, as they do with other friends. Some of them call at all hours of the day & night & about every little thing.
Energy workers tend to only be intimate friends with other energy workers. I know & love several psychics & mediums who are the same way, & understand that this stuff applies to them too. I am fortunate enough to have their love & friendship but I don't mistake it for being in their circle or as intimate friendships. Many of your are finding your own potential but not yet awakened to or living a life devoted to your gifts. That means that although we may share a similar spirit, I'm not going to have you in my inner circle. The only people in my personal inner circle are already in tune to their gifts & working with them, someone I've taken under my wing, or family. I have a balance of power & energy with my inner circle friends. We support each other with healing, ideas, a balance & exchange of energy, & sharing of experiences.
Energy workers, psychics, & mediums - we all have to guard our energy & time. Have you ever seen the show called "Long Island Medium"? She doesn't guard her time or energy & becomes frazzled, seems to have little life outside her work, & her family is always complaining. This is an example of a medium without boundaries. Now, I'm not nearly as much a medium as I am an energy worker. Mediumship is a tool that I use to compliment my work as a healer, as it involves animals. I can help people heal their hearts by helping a beloved pet cross over & give a message, or by contacting a departed pet. Otherwise, it's not one of my gifts so far. This means I don't have messages coming at me all the time like the woman in the show. I'm not saying it's entirely possible for her to better control receiving messages from spirit. But if she can, I can tell you she certainly needs to. If it's possible for her to set boundaries with the spirits that come to her, to shut it off at times, I believe she should for her own good.
Most of us in these fields have more trouble with humans than those who have crossed over, like she does. We absolutely can & need to set those boundaries. We need to set boundaries on our time most of all. I have to regularly cut people off when they start to tell me every single detail about their problems. Energetically, it's not in my best interest to listen to it, for one thing. I understand that the person wants to vent but I'm not a psychiatrist so telling me all of it is misplaced. It engages my energy in a way that's non-productive for both of us. It also engages my time & attention in a completely negative way. Energy workers are at least somewhat psychic when it comes to the problem. We get the message in a moment, rather than needing to hear the details, & we ask questions if we feel the need to know more.
That's one time problem I find that arises regularly. Another is the people who call me late at night. I'm not sure where simple courtesy went out of fashion but I was raised not to phone someone after 9 p.m. unless told it's ok. These days I extend that to 9:30 with those I'm on a friendly basis with, as long as I know they don't get up for work super early. Yet a friend that I help from time to time called me at 10:55 p.m. last night! Let me tell you, unless you're one of my kids or my significant other, there's no way I want you to call me that late. At some point I have to relax & get my mind & body settled for sleep. I have to download from all that's involved in helping others every day. I regularly do talk on the phone that late & later, but only within my family. Calls with my closest family relax me & make me feel good, don't interfere with that download. Those of us in the mentioned fields especially have to download before bed. At some point in the evening, our giving & "socialization" energy is gone & we just want to commune with ourselves & our families. I commune with my family of cats since no other family lives with me. But they're still important family, feel & act as family, & I have to have my time to get cozy & be just with them every evening.
The other problem I've run into comes from giving away products & services. Every time I've done that without some kind of exchange taking place I've ended up being used. One thing that happens is that people waste my time on the phone or in person. On Sunday a young man came for a Reiki treatment. We were going to alternate giving Reiki to each other & we started with him coming to me for a treatment. He stayed for 5 hours! (Most regular Reiki sessions are 1 hour.) It ended up being a terrible imposition & a real turn off for me. I had to postpone all my own emotional needs for 8 hours because of this. I had other obligations, including eating a meal, that added up to the other 3 hours. It was a day I really needed some time to process some emotional events & I'm feeling rather resentful, which is negative energy. Only I'm too nice to tell him all this. That's the other problem with giving away my products & services. I'm too nice to deny people or say anything. But I'm learning that if I give it to you, you'll come to me for every little thing rather than trying to solve things yourself or utilizing other sources. And you'll spend your money, time or energy elsewhere & I'm left with none of that. That's the position I've found myself in after months of this. Back to those 5 hours on Sunday. Even if I hadn't had the need to invest in my own emotions & needs that day, it was a misuse of my time. Most of us just don't have 5 hours to give away that way. We all have things we want or need to do with our time. And people who come & camp out at our houses or try to on the phone with us, are simply imposing. They're stealing our time & energy, wasting it. No one on this earth has unlimited time, or energy, mental health, or other personal resources. We all have to renew ourselves & our energies daily. So others must be respectful of us & we have to be respectful of ourselves & set our boundaries. But most heart centered people in any of these fields have a hard time setting these boundaries & hate having to enforce them. We love giving, hate being put in the role of having to say no because degrees of friendship & service have been assumed. We really don't like having to ask someone to leave, hustle people off the phone, or cut them off in conversation.
I guess one of the biggest messages I want to get out there is that energy workers, psychics, & mediums are highly sensitive, & in service to others. As such, we need more care & respect than average professions. There are other traditional professions that have the same needs, like many kinds of health care workers & other service professionals. And if I haven't covered your non-traditional field but you fit in all this with those in the title, please forgive me. I'm only speaking about what I know best & that's it.
I get less respect than most when it comes to my work with animals. Also, because I do so much Distance Reiki rather than in person sessions. People tend to misunderstand & expect me to Reiki them through Distance or their pets, for free. They seem to think because it's an animal it doesn't count, yet they expect to pay their vet. They seem to think I should do Distance Reiki for free, but they wouldn't be asking their therapists to work for free. People also try to get me to diagnosis their pet behavior problems & solve them for free, explain theirs pets to them, etc. They tell me just a little about what's going on with a cat & expect me to divine the rest. Yet cats are the most complex pets we have! People also tend to expect me to solve every little thing about every pet they have, with multiple pets & issues. I am an animal behaviorist, communicator, healer, psychic, & medium, with a specialty in cats. I can tell you that it's no easier to do my work with them than it is with people. It takes my same amount of time, learning, research, expertise, & energy. You wouldn't contact your doctor on Facebook & ask him about your mystery rash symptoms so you shouldn't be expecting me to solve & explain every little thing about your pets either. I absolutely love helping & my mission is to promote understanding & improve the lives of every cat that I can through education (of people!), healing, & communicating. But that doesn't mean I have the time & energy to do it all, especially without some kind of compensation. Honestly, all of you can come up with some kind of "payment" for the services you're seeking! You have gifts & talents if nothing else, ways you can serve us that we need. You could mow our yards, bring us food, provide secretarial help, run errands for us, do research for us if you absolutely can't pay us - just ask us what we need! And one form of "payment" I can tell each of you we need from you & respect & referrals. You tell your friends referral type information all the time, called "word of mouth." If Ruby Tuesday has a new dish on the menu that was the best you ever had, you tell your friends. If the bakery is having a special on your favorite cookies, you tell your friends. Tell your friends about us when we do good things for you with our work. And treat us with the respect you give all other professionals.
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