Unequally Yolked

I believe it's in the New Testament of the Bible about not being unequally yolked with unbelievers. I've found this to be so true in my life & am finally prepared to live by it. It can be as mild as a slight difference in religion or as much as being a believer with a non-believer. My first husband was Catholic & I was Methodist. We seldom went to church together because of this. The kids went with me to the Methodist church & were raised there. When their father went, it was usually to the Catholic church. A house divided is just that.

In my second marriage, my husband was a non-believer entirely. He would put down people he encountered who we called "God Squadders." It was very intimidating. He was supportive of me going to church & being involved, but was a bad influence in the home. He would go into authoritarian lecture mode against religion & religious beliefs & it was hard to listen to & live with. I had no outlet to discuss my beliefs within my home, no support for my search for my truth. At times I could discuss this with him, but I was never sure what kind of input I'd get.

When I was a kid, I was a Christian in a household of adults who were entirely selfish & self-centered. I only got to go to church when I could make it happen as a teen, through others or by biking. God was not discussed in the home, nor was Jesus. God was with me anyway, miraculously, but in an otherwise completely Godless household. Conversely, my children grew up in a home with faith, & the support of a loving Christian church family. I can see the many benefits in their lives. My daughter moved back to that community when she bought her first house, & now is in the loving embrace of that same church family. And that's what they are - the best example I've ever seen anywhere of what a church is truly supposed to be. As a teen & adult I've attended at least 7 different churches for a time, in 2 different states & several Protestant denominations including Methodist, Presbyterian & Lutheran. I've attended just one other church at all similar to my home church, & it was again a Methodist church. This is absolutely not a judgement or statement about different denominations. It's a statement in praise of the loving congregation of Mayo Methodist in Mayo, Maryland. (The name has recently changed & expanded & I'm not entire sure of the correct name now. Another church merged with ours. I say ours because I maintain a membership there because of that congregation. It's my heart's home of a church.)

The biggest lesson I've learned about being unequally yolked is not to join in partnership with someone who isn't on a path similar to mine. Recently I've seen many Lightworkers who have been married for years, married to someone who doesn't share or entirely understand their path. My work is my life & what I plan for the rest of my life to be about. I've already had & raised my kids so my life is no longer about that. I'm looking for a job but I've already had a life where it was largely about my career, & that's no longer what my life can be about. Nor can my life again be about a marriage partner, or a search for romantic love. All that truly matters to me in my life now is my work & it comes first. It includes my family of cats, of course. They're actually a part of it, the way a life partner would have to be. That doesn't mean he has to be doing the same thing I am, but he at least needs to be someone I can discuss spirituality with, who can understand & share some of my beliefs. And he has to be supportive of my work, aid my ability to do it rather than distract or derail me. Of course, he will be important in my life & get a good portion of my love & attention, but he can't be the main thing in my life. I can't do that any more. I can't live a life that revolves around any man again, or his interests & activities, views or feelings. The man has got to be a whole person & self-sufficient without me, so that we enhance each other's lives & souls rather than leach. My recent ex was very supportive of my talents & interests when it came to crafts, to a point. He enabled me to explore areas I'd only touched on before, & it was wonderful. But he always told me that it came second to all else - his demands & wants, business, etc. He put me into a hobby category rather than giving my talents the credit & full respect they deserved, & therefore held me back in ways. And his unbelief inhibited my spiritual growth. Regular negative talk within the home always yields negative energy that must constantly be overcome before one can move forward. There's already so much of it we encounter outside our homes so having it within the home really skews our efforts.