I renew my faith & set my intent every day. Sometimes I have to reset during the day or night. Whenever doubts or fears come on me, or those feelings of dread or impending doom, I fight them with logical faith. I usually don't remember to call on angels for help at that point, but sometimes I pray. Other times I think things through based on my belief system. I do the self talk, & often include talking with God.
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I'm a good person who deserves good in my life. Sometimes I have to remind myself what kind of God I believe in, vs. what my fears are saying. Sometimes I simply have to identify the source of the fear or doubt, realize that it's not reality, it's coming from past conditioning.
The subject of predestination comes up for me often, & did again tonight. (This is being written on April 1.) I happen to believe that I contracted with God before I was born to do certain work in this lifetime for Him, people, & animals. I believe that I contracted for the major events in my life like my childhood circumstances & birth parents, my marriages & my children. Most of my life has had some very painful events but I believe I contracted for them with the confidence that I'd be able to not only survive but benefit from them. And I have. This has given me the "credentials" to help others & the ability to understand the most common struggles others live through, and many less common. I am able to tell many "been there, done that, survived & moved on to thrive & here's how." I also know that I can't relate to everything anyone's been through. I can empathize to a point but that's it. For example, last night my son was telling me of some experiences in Iraq. War veterans never tell all to anyone who hasn't been there. Families are fortunate if when they get bits of pieces & it comes out in small pieces, over the course of years. Those of us on the outside, even closest family, simply cannot fathom their experiences. But most people haven't been to war. They've come from dysfunctional families, have been abused or raped or otherwise harmed, & I can understand most of that. They've struggled to be good people, make something of themselves & their lives, & have had times where they really need help & encouragement. That's where I come in.
I have free will just like the rest of you & everyone in my life. I imagine some of the time I got into trouble in life I was exercising that free will but that the major things happened according to plan. My belief system is a great source of comfort. I believe I have specific work to do & am doing some of it now so I believe that all will be well despite a dwindling bank account & no job interviews set up. When I begin to worry or doubt, that belief system helps me stay in the game & keep doing all I can to improve my situation. I never give up because I believe, have faith. I never stay down or depressed, for the same reason. But this week I'm struggling harder than ever, too much on my plate that needs to be changed to get from where I am to where I need & want to be. I am battling fear in all areas this week - my health, my bank account, my entire life situation. I know where I need & want to be & want to be doing but I can't see how to make it happen. I know that my job is to do all I can every day I can & let the Universe do the rest. I know I have to stay positive & not put those fears out there. This week it's especially hard. And like all of you, I wonder when the good times will get here. It's hard this week to keep believing. Today's tut.com message is again a good one for today. "Thoughts become things. Of course, beliefs are important too, but your thoughts can change what you believe. And words are important, they're your thoughts that will become things the soonest. And taking action is absolutely critical, because more than anything else, it creates expectation." This just emphasizes what I know I need to be doing as far as the mental & emotional part. I have to control my thoughts. Mike Dooley says that positive thoughts are hugely more powerful than negative ones so don't worry when you have a few negative ones. They happen. He said just turn them around & think positive thoughts as quickly as you can once you've acknowledged the negative ones. Just like I tell you, you can acknowledge the negative ones to acknowledge yourself & your feelings. That's the right thing to do, vs. just stuffing them down & denying yourself. That comes back to bite you every time. But don't allow yourself to dwell long in the negative. I'm doing the taking action part by working on my thoughts & words. But I'm not sure what action to take to get myself from my current circumstances to where I need to be, & that's causing great discomfort.
I understand that everyone else has free will also & that my beliefs can't determine someone else's actions or beliefs. When I write these blogs I try to stick to universal truths & laws, life lessons rather than spiritual beliefs. To me, the things I believe are truths & I'm sure of them. Not the daily details or "cursed hows" (if you're not reading Mike Dooley then you're missing out on more than what that reference is), but I'm sure of the big stuff. However, I'm not going to preach those to you. You have to find your own levels of belief, your own truths.
There's much I don't understand yet, like the level of involvement in our lives by God & angels. I do believe that angels will intervene on our behalf if we ask them & that they can't if we don't, because of free will. I know I have beliefs about the level of involvement in my own life, yet I still have questions. The nice thing is, I no longer have to have any of the answers. In 1990 my minister told me not to worry when I told him I no longer know what I believe. He said that it was all there inside me, a whole belief system, & that when I need it, the faith would come forth. He was so wise! Faith is believing without having the answers or knowing the details, & that's where I am. I have faith in the goodness of God, the Universe, life, & people as a whole. I have faith in the laws of manifestation & in myself. Some day I'll have even more faith in myself, & that will be a true blessing. But I'm getting better all the time, & most of the time I live in a state of grace, faith, & gratitude. We are all most comfortable in our regular environment, our "comfort zone." Some people thrive on chaos or stress, & they make sure they live in a state of chaos or stress. A state of grace, faith, & gratitude has become my regular environment, my "comfort zone," my regular dwelling. As soon as I move out of it now I rush back as quickly as I can. These days I often call on the Archangel Zadkiel & on Archangel Michael for help in getting back to where I need to be, regaining my faith & calm. I believe I recently posted a variation on the words Doreen Virtue recommends to bring healing to our lives through Archangel Zadkiel but I don't remember what day that was. You can always use your own words. He helps when we need calm vs. worry, healing of our emotions & thoughts, etc. If you aren't familiar with him, I suggest reading up on him. He's in her book on "Archangels & Ascended Masters." A spiritual bookstore would possibly have a copy you can look at. You could also try looking him up online. I find the information in her book to be so helpful in my life. I rely daily on angels to help shore all parts of my life - faith, direction, action, manifestation energy.
I used to go to bed dreading the next day. I had trouble sleeping because I was plagued with unfinished business, things I wasn't facing during the day that I couldn't avoid thinking about when I shut my eyes. These days I'm addressing things so I don't have that same sleep problem. I usually go to sleep in eager anticipation of the next day's adventure. I love my mornings drinking coffee outside, talking with God & the angels, my teachers & guides. I never know what my day will bring. I don't know what blogs I may be given to write, or what messages & guidance I'll receive. I don't know who or how I'll be called to help others, or who will touch my life in what way. I only know that more days than not, any or all of that happens.
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