As I said yesterday, it's about more than religious beliefs, it's about all your beliefs & all you are. It's often hard to stand firm in the face of the rest of the world. An example is my living situation. I have 6 cats, no job, & will need to relocate at some point. To further complicate things, my credit score works against me if you check it - prospective employers & landlords do usually, as would any mortgage lender. Every common-sense message is to give away cats & get a regular job. A friend who knows about all this again just offered me low cost rent if I would give away 4 of my cats, & again made a suggestion about a job in banking where he works. When I told my daughter about it, & that I had to do some thinking on the subject of giving away cats, she said, "Talk about Sophie's Choice!" I remember her exact words because it was a very special moment. It further cemented an already cemented bond, but every time she mirrors my soul it bonds us further, brings our spirits & hearts even closer. Because I'd journaled those exact same words the night before! I wasn't truly considering giving away my cats, I was explaining it to myself once & for all, settling my heart & mind on the subject. It's not that I'm a cat person or a cat lover or like I wanted to have 6 cats. It's all about who I am, what I am. I'm a kitty mommy, for one thing. You don't tell a mother of 6 she has to find home for 4 of her children. I'm also meant to work with cats. As part of that, the last 2 who came to me were abused & dumped. I have nurtured & healed them. One of them came to me with a spinal injury that affected her ability to walk & sit - blunt force trauma to the spine. I promised them a better life, a forever home with me. I can't go back on that for convenience. I couldn't live with myself if I did it again. I'm just now finally healing from doing that before, so I know. In a hauntingly familiar scene, 11 years ago I gave away all but 2 cats when a man offered me a place to live, a convenient way out of a life that had become a burden, & had me quit my career & join him in a financial business. The only difference here is that no sex is involved, no romance or "significant other" or potential marriage. (Which makes this new offer more appealing at this point, actually.) I know there's a reason it all lines up the same. Perhaps I'm not entirely healed from the choice I made the first time, & this will bring the final healing. That's why I wanted to settle the topic in my mind once & for all. It isn't that I love the cats or feel responsible or am too stubborn or too attached to be practical. I AM being practical. I've made the only choice I can make for me, not to give any up. It's the only way to be true to myself, who I am. And then I realized that since part of my mission in life is to work with cats, of course God is going to make sure the cats are provided for along with me. We'll be provided for together, as a family. These 6 are supposed to be with me, so they'll continue to be.
The other part of that is the job. All the messages I'm getting from God & the Universe are that I'm to be working for Him full time, using the talents given to me. It again goes entirely against conventional wisdom & advice, but I'm not seeking a job. I'm seeking God & learning to work within His system. It's entirely different from anything we're taught growing up & in the world. Here standing in my truth is also difficult, makes me mostly a lone wolf. Here the people around me make a huge contribution. They support my work & thinking fully, support me as an individual, praise my efforts. It's HUGE! They are a source of the information I need, for meeting others who help along the way, & provide the encouragement I need.
There's also another cat. There's a 7th cat, living in a corner of my garage. One of my frustrations when I've spoken of them lately is that I haven't been able to find the forever home for this cat. My family of cats won't accept her because she doesn't fit in, doesn't belong with us. It's time to tell you that I'm the cat lady redefined. After learning that I'm to work with cats & on their behalf, my relationship with them was further transformed. I understand them better than most people on the face of the earth. I communicate with them, commune with them. We are equals in my household. Most people think of them as pets. I think of them as individuals, like you think of people. I can't be any other way now that I know them. That's part of what I mean about having to be true to myself when it comes to them. So it's been a huge source of frustration to me that I have one who hasn't fit into the family, lives in hiding, barely has a life, & I haven't found a better situation for her. I pray about it daily, periodically ask around. Recently I posted a picture in the local store & someone called 2 days later, wanting to adopt her. Sounds like a wonderful situation - the cat would belong to a 12 year old girl who is the ultimate animal lover like I was. Then I found out the adults want to declaw her, & I had to say that meant they weren't the people for her. I told them what happens when you declaw a cat. Most vets remove the final "finger" joint along with the claw. Some cats never get over it, develop behavior problems that lead to being euthanized. Some don't walk right afterwards. If the cat gets out during a natural disaster, he has no defenses. Most times these things don't happen, but it truly is very painful & traumatic for the cat. I wanted a reality check with my daughter because I'm so eager to get this cat out of my garage corner & into a home. Again, she came through with perfect wisdom - the person wanting to declaw the cat wouldn't want that done to him/herself! Now I have my perfect answer to anyone who wants to declaw. "Sure, go right ahead. But, you go first." You wouldn't think of doing that to a person so why do you feel it's ok to do it to an innocent animal! Plus, there's no good reason to have it done. All you have to do is provide scratching posts & things, & redirect the cat's behavior a few times. You don't cut body parts off a child who uses them in ways you don't like! You teach accepted behavior instead. If you aren't willing to teach your pet, you shouldn't have one! Again, having someone like minded in my life provided exactly the support I needed. I'd wondered if I did the right thing for this cat, taking this stand. I said no to the one person who wanted her after all these months (she's been here about 5 months now). She's still in the garage, having a very small life. But standing in the truth as I know it is the right thing to do & her forever home will appear. Part of my part was staying true to my beliefs, what I know is right. She's still not in a good situation, but I haven't set her up for worse. The rest of my part is to keep on putting it out there until it happens, & doing my best for her in the meantime. When you stay true to yourself & your beliefs, you have no regrets or remorse. We can't control the final outcome, all we can do is our part & call on every resource we have to help. Then we've done our best. There are plenty of times when compromise is the right thing, but not on your principles, your beliefs, the matters of your heart & soul. I know how going against those can haunt you for years & it's simply not worth it! So standing in your truth matters in all parts of you life, & it does truly matter. It's very difficult to live with yourself if you don't, is at the heart of our moral dilemmas, is one of our major causes of life's discomforts. It can be very uncomfortable at first to go against the norm & stand in our truth, but as I've said, having supportive people around you really helps. And the next time you do it, notice how you feel inside after the decision is made - that's all the confirmation you need! And it gets easier the more you do it, & when you reinforce it by acknowledging it & the result you feel.
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