Lately I have allowed myself to get bogged down in frustration over little things I can't control. I have micromanaged them to the point that I haven't gotten much done, & felt over all dissatisfaction with myself, my progress, my life. Today I was journaling & started to say "I am feeling frustrated" but chose immediately to strike that. I don't want to continue to be frustrated so starting with an "I am" statement of feeling that is the wrong thing to say. When I thought about it, I decided to quit starting anything but the most positive sentences with "I am," "I'm," etc. Instead, I wrote that I need to redirect my feelings & actions. I need to do the things before me to do, the things I can control, & quit micromanaging the rest & letting them control me.
I put it all into God's Hands & I need to leave it there, quit wasting my energy thinking about them. My frustration over not getting responses to what I'm trying to buy & sell on Craigslist isn't worth the energy & time drain. I need to trust that it will happen as it's supposed to. If I have trouble trusting in the little things that really don't matter in the end, how can I continue to manifest trust in the big things? When I let my energy become drained & mired in the little things, I end up not having the energy I need for the things that do matter.
I believe that good things happen for a reason, so I guess I'm much closer to Sylvia Browne's ideas than Mike Dooley's. I'm still figuring all this out. The 2 aren't exclusive of each other. I can manifest what is right for my life, what I want for myself ala Mike Dooley, & trust that it all comes together in the best way possible. That fits with Mike Dooley. I can trust that God & the Universe supplies all that's right & fitting in the proper time. That's more along the lines of Sylvia Browne, & fits more with what my heart tells me. I believe I can use Mike Dooley's teachings to keep my intentions on track, but that I truly do need to find time to reread all I can of what Sylvia Browne has to say. I also want to reread (& finish reading) "Conversations with God" by Neale Donald Walsch. I was right with him until I realized I entirely believe in Jesus as our Savior, not just a man. However, I know He was a man too, so I'll give the guy another chance. So far, my beliefs most closely match those of Sylvia Browne. I miss going to church, wouldn't mind finding one that is based on her beliefs or close to them. She talks about such a church.
Anyway, I do believe that things happen as they're supposed to when you put God at the center of your life & work with intent. But I have to remind myself of that when it comes to the little things. I love to have control of everything that goes on - direct control. I want things to happen right when I want them to happen, just the way I want them. I sold my king-sized bed last Tuesday & wanted my replacement bed that same day, put that out there. It didn't happen that way. Maybe something better happened. I easily found the bed I wanted. I slept on the couch for a few nights & found that I can no longer do that comfortably. I bought a great air mattress that will be a great guest bed, or something I'd be happy to sleep on when guests come.
Through all this I need to learn to control what I can & leave the rest. I need to learn to quit obsessing. Quite a few of us do that. When I learn this I can control my happiness & energy even better & teach others how to do it. I need to have trust & faith for the little things as well as the big. This is what it's all about - learning to live in the flow rather than trying to swim upstream all the time. In the flow we take each thing as it comes, handle it, move on. We do all we can do that we're given to do with what we have available to us at the time. We learn to call on help when we need extra resources. That one's always been hard for me. So I'm going to go make face pillows, plant kitty grass, do litter boxes, clean the bathroom, & do Reiki on some people in need.
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