I used to be very type A. People who only know me recently would probably have a lot of trouble picturing that. For awhile I described myself as type D, so very laid back when I lived on the farm outside of Hagerstown. It was a joke. Now I'm probably a type A/B, in reality. Or a B. I can get serious & get things done when I need to & I have drive, but I seldom get flustered about anything. I started the day yesterday by having my energy disturbed by frustration with someone who was going to buy the extra car. I can only control my own actions, not what others do. I can't control it when someone says they'll do something & they don't, no matter how it may affect me & my needs.
What I can do is control my reactions & then my actions. I end up thinking things through & coming up with solutions. The guy called this morning & said he'd be here by 1:00 p.m. & at that time I thought I had to leave the house with the check by 3:00 p.m. But I'd already thought of a solution the night before - have AAA tow the car to his shop since the problem was him making the time to get out here to tow it & therefore paying me. He started to assure me he'd be here, I told him of my tow idea, & in the end he said to be safe, do that. And AAA ended up sending him out here for the tow, so I didn't have to go out to him for the check. It was all over by 1:30 p.m. & I watched a piece of my old life being towed away. That was interesting in itself. I felt like a piece of me was leaving, & I never liked driving that car, but had spent some nice time as a passenger. As always, I pay attention to my feelings because something like that shows healing taking place or needing to. I also pay attention to the really great feelings, & that feeds my attitude of gratitude & is a source of pure enjoyment. But I no longer stuff any discomfort or just let it pass. I deal with it at the time or file it near the front of my mind to explore & learn from, handle & heal ASAP. That's why I'm receiving pieces of emotional healing within about 24-30 hours, often less.
When I was type A I felt like I was always in crisis management. I always had a pile of things to address that were outside my comfort zone, problems to solve. Just when I'd get them cleared up, more would arise before I could take a real breather. It's true that I had more responsibilities back then - full time job, was a single parent. But a lot of the difference is my attitude & handling. I use that great planner I mentioned a few months ago & assign the nasties to certain days & weeks & thus manage them, get them off my mind entirely. That's such a whole new one for me - a clear mind! I used to keep it all in my head all the time, although I'm a great list maker (ask my daughter). But I had multiple lists that were as bad as no list. They were all over, a burden of things I considered important & didn't do. I simply don't handle that well. I had my today list, my now list, my this week list, my eventually list. I had some things crossed off each list & added on until they were a mess. I'd try to carry things from one list to another when I didn't get it all done... And I never really had any peace, couldn't really relax & take time for myself when needed, had trouble going to sleep at night, because I was aware of what still needed to be done & had the feeling I was forgetting something.
Having a truly great planner solved all that. It's all in the planner rather than my head. This particular planner, from plannerpad.com, allows you to prioritize in the easiest, least "should" way. I truly recommend it to all of you. I can't tell you how it's freed me! I've also learned over the years to let go. Not every great suggestion you read in a magazine is something you need to eventually force yourself to do, so there's no such thing as an "eventually" category for me. I'm never going to take photos of everything I own & put it in a fireproof place. You can, I'm not. I'm never going to put those family photos in albums. I've finally let go of those "shoulds." Years ago someone shared a great perspective with me. How much is (fill in an action) going to matter a year from now, 10 years from now, when you die? Most "shoulds" aren't really, don't truly matter so being honest about your own priorities & setting your own boundaries with "shoulds" is one of the most freeing things we can learn to do for ourselves. Part of "this too shall pass" is deciding what's truly important vs. what only seems important at the moment.
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