Stress is being awakened by a phone call that your furniture isn't going to be picked up until Thursday evening. That was stress because yesterday I thought I was getting $350 last night or today when they picked up what I'm selling. I would have been able to buy my blood glucose test strips at half price online, & provide my aging cat with his glucosamine on a continued basis rather than making him go without for 4 days. In response to when I thought they were coming, I completely overdid it yesterday so I could clear out the hutches & metal cabinet, clear off the table they were moving. I spent $5 of my last $28 until Monday on dinner because my stove is full of stuff I cleared out, & so are all my counters. I had to take a muscle relaxer last night because of the toll on my body, & the sleep that also induced was what he awakened me from. Stress is also the letter I just got from the state demanding that I produce 5 years worth of information on my mother's finances & other documents I don't have, & they only gave me a week to come up with it all. If you've followed things, I've been dealing with such things for nearly a full year now, including the IRS. I don't have access to most of what any of them want me to produce, it all involves going back over & further dealing with the details of my ex's treachery, & it's something I simply want to put behind me. It is highly upsetting to have to deal with the papers, the reminders, have it hitting me in the face in wave after wave. I, like most people, don't like having to deal with financials, & dealing with it for others is even worse in ways. That's because I only have limited knowledge. I also have a tendency toward natural resistance when a bureaucrat arbitrarily asks for information not needed or already provided, & when they say then need it ASAP.
The way I handled the first stress was lying in bed afterwards trying to go back to sleep. My mind kicked in though, & I was thinking about how to deal with the mess I've got. I was totally awake by then. I got up, fed the cats, realized I was still woozy & sleepy from the muscle relaxer, & went back to bed until that wore off. In other words, I did what I needed to do for myself first. While I was up my mind did enough work on the problem to begin figuring out how to handle this delay. Glucosamine isn't essential, I'll recover from paying more for the test strips, & I'll figure out how I want to handle what I need to move to function in my kitchen until I can put everything back. I've figured out that I'll pack up the glassware that belonged to my Grandma & be a little ahead on that job when the time comes to move. And I'll just figure out how to deal with the rest, the best thing to do so that I have the least amount of problems from the delay. I also realized that gave me an opportunity to get more stuff cleared out of that particular area of the house, which will make the job easier when they come. I used my brain to start immediately working out a solution based on the new reality rather than letting it get to me in any way. That's one of the best tools we have for handling stress. Instead of receiving it as stress, you say "Oh well" & figure out how to adapt. It'll be ok - it's just a delay. It's another example of things not always going as planned, which happens to all of us on a regular basis. It's what we do, how we handle these situations internally, that determines whether we end up stressed by it. My body will end up getting a little further stress as I undo some of what I did yesterday & then have to do it over again on Wednesday, but we call that exercise. I was annoyed that the guy started chatting with me about his job when I realized I didn't have to be up yet, he wasn't telling me he'd be there in an hour. But I just told him I didn't have time to chat, had to go. Usually I'd listen, because people are often sent to me for help through "chance" encounters. This time my need to sleep was great & I didn't. I have no idea if I then passed up an opportunity to help someone, so I'll ask him about his job next time we talk. Part of not stressing is understanding that many delays & plan changes are opportunities for personal help, growth, service, or something greater coming to you. I also don't stress trying to figure out why, or what will come of it. I simply figure a plan to deal with the changes, & allow the rest to happen if there was a reason. Because I didn't allow this to become a stressful situation for me, I had no physical stress reaction to it. It's affected my activities for today but not my feelings or attitude about my day.
I had an immediate stress reaction to the letter but also didn't allow that to continue. I refuse to live that way. I took the letter outside to read it again, which is what I do when I need a "time out." Then I started planning how to handle it. In other words, I refused to give in to my initial stress reaction & began taking control of the situation. I'm not sure what all I'm going to do about that letter or what I'm going to do about all the stuff out in my way. All I know is that I'll figure it out & start handling it, later today. My next job after posting this is starting some calls in response to what the letter wants. One I've been putting off, so this puts me in the space where I finally need to get it done. That's not bad. Then it won't be hanging over my head any more. That's the thing - every time you can see even a small gain, a small silver lining to a situation, you feel more in control of it. And controlling yourself & your reactions, then figuring how to best control a situation that's changed out of your control, is a key to handling stress & keeping it from creating problems for you. By problems, I mean that it flaws your thinking & damages your body. Whether you think of yourself as creative or not, you use your creative mind when you solve problems. You see a problem & your mind creates a solution. Stress blocks creative thinking so it blocks coming up with the most effective solution. In fact, when your body & mind are in stress mode, it blocks all your effectiveness in thinking. That's why my refusal to allow myself to continue reacting, to move myself to action planning instead, is important. It put me in control rather than allowing the stressors to control me. It puts me in a position where I can be effective. I also need to say that once you get stressed, everything starts to pile on. Must be some law of the universe with a name, maybe Murphy’s Law. When I went to post this, one paragraph disappeared. Normally that would start a stress reaction in me. But the more you are in stress-management mode, the better you handle things. That was stressor #3 within 6 hours, but I just took it in stride & rewrote the thing. More on stress management another time, as it's a big subject & a big problem for most people.
No comments:
Post a Comment