When I was a child I thought of my life as a book. After a new period started I'd see a fresh chapter with blank pages. I knew what was in the previous chapters but the page had been turned & the past a closed chapter. You don't normally go back & read previous chapters in a book (mine was hard cover), you move forward to see what happens next. Turns out there's a psychological term for this & that it's common among abuse survivors. That I visualized it as such at a young age shows that early-on I had perception & insight, & great survival capabilities. I've lived with this book image for all the life that I can remember. It's an innate part of me. And so I know that a new chapter begins today! I've been writing the final paragraphs leading to this chapter since summer. Pretty much all I did was sell off furniture from my old life (belonging to the family of my newly ex), getting rid of all that no longer served me. I also did the emotional work to heal & clear my life, & learned & experienced all I could that was of my new life & my work for God. I transformed the place where I was living to suit the life I wanted for myself, room by room, & actively worked to manifest what I needed in my life. I believe it was mid August when I finally connected by phone & later in person with a woman named Sandy, who was living the things I wanted to manifest in my life, upon the recommendation of the guy who first brought me to Reiki. Something she said led me to write my "I Am" statements & clear my language of all negative statements beginning with "I am..." like "I am tired." I also wrote my manifestation statements around that time, then lined out my work with specific angels in charge of the things I wanted in my life. By the end of August I started reading all the above out loud every day, as I've recommended in previous blogs.
What happened was a miracle in my mind & turns out to be truly amazing to others. But now that I'm finally reading Mike Dooley's book (he of tut.com), "Manifesting Change: It Couldn't Be Easier" I see that what happened was inevitable. Please obtain a copy of this book & read it. This is such a good book that I wish to own my own copy & have one to lend. If you can't find it any other way, you can purchase it on the tut.com website. The amazing thing is how directly the manifestation worked! I have mine broken down into 3 paragraphs & each one starts with "I am manifesting..." The other day the words "I have a cozy home of my own that suits us entirely." Then I realized that was part of my manifestation statement (my mind included the cats in that statement, as always). So here's what the first paragraph says, broken down into 3 sentences. "I am manifesting: A cozy home of my own with the cats that suits us entirely, with room inside or a separate building on the property to accommodate all my work, current interests, & passions. It includes a studio, treatment room, gathering room/yarn & spa shop, & the Cattitude shop, my spinning wheel. People come to my home for visits, classes, Reiki or other treatments/help as needed, & knitting gatherings - people are drawn to me at this home." The amazing thing is, that paragraph manifested all into one room except the treatment room! All one paragraph, all one room. This house is nothing like I pictured when I pictured manifestation but I didn't put that mental picture into the statements. I therefore didn't limit the universe. This house is however a lot like what was in my heart when I pictured the manifestation. Mentally I pictured a Victorian with lots of large rooms. In my heart I pictured a small, cozy cottage with charm & gardens, & that's what my living space is like, the upstairs. The downstairs is an amazing manifestation for my work - one long, wide enough room that's finished, for the gatherings, my studio, my office, products to sell, & an adjacent cement space with room for my beloved grandmother's stove & work space. It used to be in her basement & she made candles & candy on it. I'll use that space & her stove for the same things, & teaching these things. This is the 4th house that stove has been moved to since she died & I'll finally be using it, as originally intended. I'll finally have my shops in my home, as I've wanted since I was a young adult. I'll finally be fulfilling all my heart's desires for my life - serving God as intended, working with all my talents & God-given skills, ministering to people & animals, improving the lives of animals & especially cats, having my own shops & selling my paintings & crafts, having gatherings, making a great living working from home & going out as I wish. There is so much more to it than that & so many details I'm leaving out. My heart hasn't entirely gotten in touch with it all yet because these dreams & needs have been so long in coming to fruition.
But as of yesterday I'm finally done clearing the other house. Now all I possess is in my new home & my life can entirely move forward. I get to play house & nest in my space! This is a much smaller house than I've ever had but for once I don't have to accommodate another person or be keeper of other people's stuff that they wouldn't part with but don't want to handle. I had that burden for 11 full years & it really got old very early-on. I lived in & cleared out the houses of classic hoarders & was left with the physical burden of clearing their spaces largely without help or resources. Handling just my own stuff is a breeze & a joy. It seemed to those helping me move like I have a lot of stuff & I do - I do many arts & crafts & have loads of supplies, & I'm a nester, a cook, a homebody who likes to have my comforts & things. I've talked about this before - making your space yours, homey. But compared to what I've lived with for the last 11 years what I have is nothing, & small. As a small person, I tend toward smaller & lighter furniture & efficient storage. I love dual purpose furnishings, know how to make the most of my space. More tomorrow!
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