Some people aren't comfortable with change, some aren't comfortable without constant awareness of change. These days I laughingly think "change" must by my middle name. Thing is, change is constant, whether we're aware of it or not. A car drives past & the loose trash in the road moves. Leaves blow. Our spot on the earth constantly changes in relation to the sun because although we don't feel it, the earth is constantly moving. Often we don't notice change but much has changed since I started writing this blog a few sentences ago. My grey cat is now in the window near my desk. My feet are starting to feel cold, leaves are blowing across the yard, cars have gone past, & while writing this very sentence, my long-haired black cat walked into the room. Living with multiple cats is constant change. The grey one doesn't like change & we've moved twice since he started living with me 12 years ago. I kept as much the same as I could - favorite toys, litter boxes, food bowls, the foods offered, scratching posts & cat trees. But his total environment changed. Each time he's adapted & become comfortable over time. I know him & am sensitive to his needs, so I've done all I can to make it as comfortable as possible for him. I do my best to preserve his sense of home.
I say "change" must be my middle name because it seems like so much is different in my life every time I talk with someone. I am a very proactive person. I am always changing, growing, & learning. I use every difficulty in my life as an opportunity. I view them as opportunities. Yes, I can get "down" about things at first, but then I do all I can to transform them. I tend to view these opportunities as adventures. I try to take each day as a new adventure. Change seems to be the driving force in my life. I usually feel an urgent drive to make the most of everything, so I can make myself & my life better. I believe I can then use it all to help others - inspire, show the traveled way, encourage, empathize. Love of self & others is the other driving force in my life. And I am truly a driven person. But I've learned patience along the way. It's not easy, but I'm patient when I don't see the changes I want within myself or my life or for others, coming as fast as I want. I try to be totally patient when I don't see things happening. I understand that just because I don't see it, just as I don't see the minute changes in the position of earth to sun, that they are happening. I also know that most desired change doesn't happen in an instant or just one act. I know you have to stay busy & actively involved, & that it just isn't over & totally seen until it gets there. We can see Spring coming but until the flowers all bloom it isn't totally apparent & then it's actually Summer & it's all changed again.
If I went to bed & covered my head & did all I could to avoid change, it would still happen. At some point I'd have to get up for some reason, for one thing, or I would die. And that's change too. If I just let things happen & didn't try to make things work for me, some would work against me. Go back to that "went to bed" sentence or think of mail delivery. If I didn't handle the mail that comes in, eventually all the utilities would be turned off & there'd be a huge pile of junk mail. Being reactive instead of proactive is not the best choice either. That's waiting until things pile up & become a problem, or always being behind situations rather than in front of them. Being reactive is dealing with the spider bite. Being proactive is getting rid of the spider in your house. Being proactive is learning what you can from situations & doing your best to affect the greatest possible outcome. Sometimes how to do that isn't at all clear. Recently I wrecked my beloved 1995 Honda Civic & the insurance company has deemed it to be totaled. I have no idea why this happened except that I wasn't paying the attention I should have to where I was going. I believe that all things can work for our good so I'm viewing the selection of another used car as an adventure. I have no idea what I'll end up with. I've changed my attitude, given the money I've got to invest, from my favorite car ever to whatever will get me through until I can get what I want. That's allowed me to be open to the possibilities, the adventure. In this case, I lowered my expectations so I could be realistic & open. Now I'm excited to see what will be presented. Until now, I'd expected to replace my Honda Civic with a new Honda Civic, in a few years. Now I've opened my mind to all kinds of vehicles.
I tried to figure out why this happened to me in the beginning. I looked within to see what I could learn, what I needed to change. I haven't really found anything. It's the first time I've caused an accident in 28 years of driving so most of the time I'm a very good driver. The accident was a momentary lapse on my part, & I haven't found a thing to learn from it. I believe that everything that happens can lead to greater good for us but I don't see a thing good about this so far. However, I believe that although I don't see it, with positive intent & action, it will work in my favor. I may never know the why & it doesn't really matter because I have the faith & belief. It could be, since I really wasn't hurt, that this accident was instead of a larger one in which I would have been hurt. And unless God tells me that, I'd never know because it was avoided. All that matters now is being proactive, doing all I can to make the most of this situation as an opportunity. Instead of running around frantically doing things, as I was that day, I've been home much longer periods of time. I've used that time to clean up needed areas of my life that got out of hand during the move & after. I've cleaned out some email in boxes, a basket of business ideas, a basket of personal business I hadn't attended to. I've finished the book on manifesting I need to mail back to a friend. I've used this time to make my life more comfortable & functional based on my personal priorities & needs. And it could be that this is exactly what this was all about & no more. I've also had to do something difficult for me, ask for help & rely on others. Over time, I may never see the "reason" behind what happened, but I'll see the positive changes.
By the way, if you like cats & want to study change, look at them. They frequently change the toys they play with, the places they rest, the positions they're sleeping in. Despite the fact that they sleep a lot, they're also often on the move. They're often seeking new experiences & adventures. Just because you've never seen or heard your cat doing something doesn't mean they don't or won't. Today I saw Karma on top of the stereo speakers, the highest place in the room. The other evening I saw her trying to walk across the thin piece of decorative moulding over the kitchen sink. I've never seen her in either spot before, never dreamed she'd get up there. I've seen cats in positions you'd think just couldn't possibly be comfortable. I've seen cats sitting on top of doors! And just because a cat is in the mood to be petted one minute doesn't mean he/she will be in the next. As soon as the cat's had enough, he/she either moves, jumps down, swipes or bites & even if you know that, it can take you by surprise. Cats are very much into the moment, into experience & adventure, always onto the next thing. Watch a cat knock something off. Even if he/she has knocked that same thing off the same surface every day, the cat will watch to see what happens. Maybe this time something different will happen (not likely) or perhaps that cat just really enjoys the effect or thinks it belongs on the floor or it's in his/her way. The reason is as individual as the cat & we'll probably never know. That's ok, because it makes total sense to the cat & is his/her experience. Loving cats as I do, I put the piece of driftwood back on my dresser every time I see it on the floor so Karma can knock it off again. I don't know what she gets out of it, only that she loves doing it. It's our game now because of my attitude.
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