Women Rule as Networkers

First I want to say something about "I Am" statements since I referred to them Monday & posted my new ones in the last week or so. There are plenty that I could have used that I don't. For example, I don't say anything, like one friend does, about being whole within myself, not needing someone else to complete me. That's because I whole-heartedly know that one, without doubt or reservation. It's already a total part of my knowledge of myself & my life, doesn't need to be reinforced ever. I know I "need" every person who is fully in my life yet I don't need any one individual, don't need any one person to be whole or functioning. Those who are writing or rewriting their "I Am" statements need to make them entirely about you & your needs. They need to reinforce things about you that you need to remember when those in the world tend to be jealous & tear you down. They need to be things you're insecure about, & things you want to become more of. They're statements of personal manifestation & remembrance of who you are & who you want to be. Jennifer is not my given name. Few know the name I was given at birth because I always hated it, & changed my name permanently & legally when I was 19. Before I took the legal step, I was suicidal for a period & a wonderful angel in my life named Cathy saved me from myself. She's no longer in my life. Sometimes people come into our lives just for a period, are there when we need someone, & then move on once the need is over. Sometimes we don't feel ready, as I feel about the one counselor who worked with me when I regained the full memories of my childhood & the abuse. There have been so many times in the last 20 years that I've wanted to talk with her & didn't know where she moved, had no contact information. But in the end, I've managed without her. She taught me all I tools I needed & for whatever reason, was no longer available to me afterwards. She had a baby, quit counseling, moved. That's the visible reason in her life. But there had to be a real reason in my life too - I just don't know it. But I got off the subject. After I got over that suicidal period, I mentally changed my name to Jenny (later legally to Jennifer) & decided, since I was going to live, to make myself into the best mental image of a Jenny that I could. I of course wanted to work within the bounds of who I truly am, so I explored myself & took myself down to the bare bones of who I am, my core characteristics, understanding. At that time I didn't remember my childhood so I wasn't dealing with any of that, only my core traits. I worked to understand who I really am & then to change what wasn't working & enhance what does. That's what "I Am" statements are about, but not as drastic. You can certainly use them if you're that low, but most writing them are fortunately not & never have been at that kind of low point. They're a tool for helping you be the best YOU can be, for enhancing the qualities you want & your belief in yourself, & self love & care.

Now to the main subject. Women are the original networkers! Men created things like the Masons, Rotary Club & other avenues of networking for business & some are very proficient at networking, but they mostly use networking for business or for personal services like where to find the best repair people & services. Now that the internet is a part of everyone's lives, there's an industry of network marketing opportunities, again mostly involving men. But women are totally about networking, & use it in all aspects of our lives. Our friends are a great example. Most women have a few or one very best friend whom we can talk with about anything & everything, but we also have a network of friends. I read about this in women's magazines & see it all over, have it in my life. We have certain friends for certain things, have categorized them consciously or not. We have a friend or friends in every category if we're in balance. Some are to go out & have fun with (bars, or dancing, or other specialized activities). Some are for exercising together, or gardening or other shared hobbies. Some are those we turn to when we need information or help with particular subjects. I know someone who is self published, for example. Women consciously & unconsciously draw to themselves the women we need in their lives before we need them. I connected with a woman who has alpacas & llamas, met her at an outdoor jazz concert. I was attracted by a publication on sheep & wool animals she was reading, used to read it myself. I went over & talked with her, instinctively knowing she was someone I'd want to know. Turns out she also spins wool into yarn & a few weeks later, when I was given the idea to spin cat hair for people, I contacted her. She told me where to get my spinning wheel & take lessons, opened the door to a whole world I'd only dreamed of before.

One of the biggest networks most women have is other women to turn to when we need to talk. Many of us have friends that will understand certain subjects better than another. We have a whole network of women who have experienced & overcome all of life's challenges as a collective. We know who to turn to about what. An example is a friend I met in the mid 1990s when I worked for the National Academy of Opticianry. She was briefly on the Board of Directors & I attended those meetings, interacted closely with all the Directors, had meals & meetings & social time with them. She & I really connected & found much in common, became very close very quickly & remained close. She is great at finding creative ways to make money while working part time at various jobs, I happen to know. So in August of 2010 when I realized I wasn't good at most network marketing jobs & hated the work I was trying to do, I contacted her for ideas. I also wanted my dear friend who wouldn't judge me. She was one of the first I told about the nightmare I was living with my now ex husband. She was my safe haven & very helpful.

Not only do women draw these other women into our lives, we tend to bond deeply & keep them close. We learn each other deeply, feel the strengths of each other, come together for mutual benefit over & over again. Some are only in our lives for a season & move on, but most tend to stick. The scene is set at the beginning & deepened over time, until the needs come in & the bloom of the friendship & relationship is harvested. Women are the ultimate communicators & empaths - we "feel" each other & know each other on the deepest levels. None of this is to say that some men aren't like this. There are plenty of men that have some favorable typically feminine traits & some women that lack in them. But we all honestly know that men & women just were not created to be the same.

Most women, like my friend from the Board of Directors, play multiple roles in our lives, but some are definitely "one trick ponies." Some are truly just for a fun night out. Most enrich our lives in many ways. So ladies, if you aren't consciously aware of this in your life, hopefully I've given you something to think about. And you men reading this, if you want to network more effectively for whatever reason, look at the women you know well & how they do it. Women have been doing this for centuries. They used to get together & share the chores, live in multi-generational households where the women shared the child care, cooking, etc. We carry that same spirit into today, some deeper than others. Personally, I've always been interested in having a cottage industry, which is sharing the work & all creating. I'm very conscious of sharing, community, & the value of networking in my life. If you look at many of my blogs with that in mind, you'll see it as a recurring thread.