When I first started this blog nearly a year ago I planned to promote my business & share helpful tips & ideas, recipes, etc. I wondered how I'd find enough to say every day, too. I'm reading Mike Dooley's newest book, "Leveraging the Universe." He says that you need to be active to leverage the Universe for manifestation. It doesn't matter what direction you start in, only that you begin moving forward. You don't even have to have determined your path or what you want at that point. Once you're in motion you can be redirected if needed, & you'll discover what you want if you don't already know. Leveraging the Universe first requires action. I can clearly see this in the blog. I started it with one intent & God took it over. Lately it's been highly personal but usually it's self-help & spiritual.
I don't usually know what I'll write about when I wake up. The topics usually come to me during my "devotion" time or even before, when I'm fixing my first cup of coffee, like today. At that point I haven't engaged my brain for the day, I'm sort of on auto-pilot. My subconscious is more at work at that point than my conscious mind, & it's most often working on the problems those closest to me are having, or issues in their lives. I know that when I sleep my brain continues to work on my problems & theirs, & when my subconscious is in control. I don't usually retain details about people at first - names of children, ages, where they've lived or such. I have to be told those things more than once, have to be in a certain state of conscious listening to retain that stuff. But I absolutely retain their problems & issues if they're significant in my life. I met a man named Leonard the other day & we talked on the street before I had a job interview. I said I'd pray for him, for good health he said. If he'd told me more than that I'd be adding it to my prayers for him but my subconscious wouldn't be working for him because we didn't exchange contact information. I wouldn't be able to help him further because I'll never see him again. Whereas I have a friend who had frequent bladder infections in December & one day my brain pulled up what I know she can do about it from my past. I didn't even know I was thinking about it, because it was my subconscious at work. Ladies, if you're sexually active & have this problem, just ask me. A doctor told me how to solve it & it works.
Anyway, this morning as usual, my subconscious was fixed on a friend & the topic for Wednesday's blog came to me, one on women & networking. Then this one came to me, & tomorrow's. What usually happens is once the idea is there, the blog starts writing itself before I get to the computer. I have the title & the essence of the whole thing, & the first paragraph or sentences completed before I start walking toward the computer. I have no idea how most writers write, whether it's the same for them. For me, the blogs write themselves. It usually then takes me about an hour per blog to get it all down. Sometimes I've given ideas for blogs but not the words, so I just post titles to fill in later. I have 5 - 10 waiting to be written. Sometimes I'm given several in a day, like today, with the words, so I write them in advance. Only once recently have I had to work at what I'd write about, & that was this past Friday.
In preparing for this blog I "had" to watch a portion of my favorite movie, "Groundhog Day." As it "happens," my remote isn't working right, I can't fast forward for one thing. So I "had" to watch the part where he tries to save the old man twice, & I cried each time. So part of the "state of life" report is that I sure can cry now! Those of you not up to date, for many years I couldn't, so this is a really good thing. It's proof of how much my heart has healed. What I was going for is Bill Murray's beautiful speech in the final Gobbler's Knob scene. He says, "When Chekhov saw the long winter he saw a winter bleak & dark, bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney, & basking in the warmth of their hearths & hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long & lustrous winter."
Our winter this year in Western PA was hardly a winter, but for me it was one challenge after another. I didn't even get to breathe in between them, & I was in a fog, felt rather lost. Friends promised a difference when Spring came, that it was just around the corner. Phil said 6 more weeks & we all know Phil is always right! Well, it's been 6 weeks & Spring is here. Flowers are blooming in my yard & all the windows are open upstairs. The cats are loving life right now. Yesterday I moved plastic packing bins inside & put them & cushions under the windows so they'd have perches. I'm loving the fresh air, sunshine & warmth, & the bird songs. I'm about 3/4 done with moving & unpacking boxes, hanging pictures, etc. This is huge because at the last house I never did get unpacked, & I'm a nester. And Saturday I even got a 6 week in Phil fix! A dear friend took me to a chapter gathering (the Groundhog Club has many active chapters all over the world) & Phil was there! I got to see some of the wonderful guys in the Groundhog Club Inner Circle (the ones who wear the tuxedos & top hats) & that's always a treat for me, & I got to see & talk to my favorite groundhog in all the world. Those who know me know I LOVE all groundhogs, so that's saying a lot. By the way, part of why I so love that quote from "Groundhog Day" is that through the men of the Inner Circle, the people of Punxsutawney & the culture, & the Groundhog Day festivities, I found great warmth & love. I fell in love with the whole thing & that's why I now live in Western PA! Moving is very hard, especially moving far away is hard on kids. Last year I was in counseling because of the divorce & situation & the counselor commented on all the times I moved as a kid & I brushed it off. Time heals & I'd forgotten what it was like being the new kid all the time, starting over, & most of all, leaving all & everyone I loved behind over & over. I left my father forever at age 2, never saw him again until I was 13! I left behind my grandparents (his parents) & never saw my grandmother again. Turns out I have a huge connection to her (read tomorrow). Later my father had 2 more kids & I didn't meet them until I was 13. Four years later I moved a state away from the grandparents I always talk about, just when I was finally in a happy baby sitter situation after excruciatingly painful daycare situations. I moved to the Harrisburg area & was again in those kinds of awful situations for years. But at least I got to see my grandparents several times a year & stay with them. Then we moved to Texas & in the 3 1/2 years I was there I only got to see my grandparents once, & lost the only place I knew as home while there. (My grandparents sold the house my mother was born in, the only home I'd ever known.) When we moved from there to Maryland I had tons of friends & activities & was very happy & well established, so the move was another huge jolt but at least I was in range of visiting my grandparents again & all the family I knew & loved. What started me on all this is that my move to PA in 2009 was the first time I ever moved entirely because I wanted to, as was the move to this house in November. That's just huge for someone who was moved often & without any consideration given at all to any of my needs. However, I do have to say that I've had a lot more control in my adult life. I chose the house where I raised my kids & got to stay in that same house for 19 years. If you add up all the places I lived growing up, the times don't add up to the 19 years of stability. And when I left there it was to finally fulfill my need to live on a farm. And when I first came to Western PA I was also on a farm. My greatest childhood wish was to be free from my abuser & in control of my own life, & with intent I've sometimes been able to make the most of that control & power. And in some ways, as I've touched on before, I gave away a lot of that power. Power is also very scary if you don't know about intent & how to manifest, that you have the power & aren't consciously using it to work for you.
My financial situation hasn't changed for the better yet but I'm now supremely happy because my life is nicely coming into balance. I feel loved & cherished, valuable, joyous, & excited about my life. That's kind of "against all odds" given my actual situation. The reason is that what's been lacking in my life is starting to manifest, putting me more in balance. One of the reasons for that is that I've been moving forward as quickly as possible. For the last few weeks the emphasis has been on the job hunt & it seemed to be going nowhere pretty quickly. Then, this past week, I had an interview for a job I can't afford to take & an interview at a staffing agency with a wonderful woman. I have no idea why I needed to go to the one I can't afford to take but it was nice to be at least contacted for an interview, considering I'd only gone on one other. I have no idea how many I applied for without the employer showing any interest at all, so an interview felt like a major step forward. I needed to feel employable & wanted, even though I know how vastly qualified I am for so much. The point is, I've been moving forward each day, faithfully doing what was before me according to the way the priorities seemed to present. That helped me gain balance in my activities & led to some of my sense of wellbeing. I also again reached out to help a friend & ended up gaining at least as much as I gave, hence the feeling of being valued & cherished. The other thing I regularly do to manifest what I need & want is those "I Am" statements, manifestation statements, & my daily prayer. Some of my "I Am" statements are designed to remind me of who & what I am. Some are to help me change or enhance - become or become more of - the things in the statements. They are all based on intent. Because I'm moving forward in balance & getting my life in order, & my intent is pure & set, I had an actual weekend like normal people. Saturday I played all day & all evening, & Sunday I had total "me" time - went to a mediumship event, set up my outside area, straightened the garage & brought in a bunch of things, & spent quite a bit of the day journaling. Journaling is very important to me. I record progressions, figure out what's really on my heart & mind, my feelings, etc. I still don't always know my mind or my true feelings thanks to my childhood, but journaling helps me get in touch with myself. It turns out that going to that mediumship event was the single most important thing I did all week, & it came about during a last minute invitation. It's the subject for tomorrow's blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment