Imprinting

I've heard about this in the animal kingdom. Baby animals are imprinted to their mothers & vice versa. It's the bonding process, which makes mother animals recognize & care for their young. The babies know their mothers, & then learn from them. They're driven by innate instinct (the babies) & what the mother teaches them. Human babies & young experience the same things - imprinting, & humans too have instincts & learn from their mothers. The imprinting in humans continues all their lives, but is strongest in early youth. Most people don't think or know much about imprinting, or understand that they're subject to it. I'm sure there are other terms for this in humans, but looking through a thesaurus didn't help.

Since Davy Jones' death I've been watching the first season of the Monkees on DVD, & watched a DVD of a live concert from 2001 or so. In some ways I enjoyed the live concert more because it's more the way I remember Davy looking & sounding. I didn't get to see them live until the mid 1980s. But I noticed my reactions to the TV series more, especially the closing credits. I find myself smiling & happy at the end of every episode, first of all. Then I noticed that my eyes are fixed on every image of Davy & I wince at the words across his face obscuring my ability to fully see him. After experiencing this over & over, imprinting came back to me. I realized that during that very first season, when I was about 11, I became imprinted because I did the same exact thing week after week. Many years ago I discovered an even greater reaction when watching reruns of the old Lassie series, & I know I react to the old Roy Rogers TV show too. I tear up a little during the "Happy Trails" sung closing. I used to tear up at the end of every show. At the end of the Lassie series, I actually cry a little, even as an adult, just as I did as a child. Never fails, never did. I used to get very upset when Lassie was in trouble, & always cried at the end of the episode. Remember, when I was a child that was it until the next week. There was no Tivo or DVD, no cable reruns later in the week even. The Lassie series was replayed briefly in the 1980s when a new Lassie movie was made. I didn't have the same reactions to the Lassie movie, even though I really enjoyed it. I'm imprinted to Lassie, but wasn't to the movie, only the mainstays of the show - the opening & closing credits & music. The same is true largely with The Monkees & the Roy Rogers show. Although I have noticed that in certain favorite Monkees episodes that feature Davy, I've had a familiar reaction to my favorite parts.

I'm not sure how many of you will be able to relate to this TV imprinting. I'm sure some of mine was extreme, given that I was a very needy, insecure, abused child being raised in an extremely dysfunctional home. But I'll bet many of you did imprint to TV shows in childhood. The point is, we do imprint hugely during childhood, but we also imprint throughout life. There are certain TV shows I avoid now because of my most recent ex husband, even certain foods & places. I don't want to go to Burger King because of him, for example. And 1 1/2 years later, only now am I thinking of eating Kraft macaroni & cheese with boiled hot dogs. I cringed at the thought all this time. In a recent blog I talked about those closest to us being able to "push our buttons." Those "buttons" come from negative imprinting.

Parents raising young children need to be aware of what imprinting they're giving their kids. Adults aware of the concept can become aware of their own "buttons" & work toward healing. I think it's important to recognize that imprinting causes us to react in a way that's become automatic to us, is unavoidable unless we become aware of it & work to heal. I would have to work very hard to change my reaction to the Lassie closing credits. Deep inside, I still mourn that the show is over for another week in that moment, & have a combination reaction that combined my love for that dog & my sorrow that she was in trouble during the episode. I have no reason to do that work, because although I'm sad enough to cry for a few moments, it does no harm. In fact, it's a familiar feeling that I enjoy, sort of bitter sweet.

Some of us work very hard at achieving full emotional healing from our pasts, & are dismayed when something else crops up that shows we haven't healed fully. We need to be aware that due to imprinting, some of it is too deep within us. It comes out in layers & we're not aware that more layers remain because of how deeply rooted, imprinted it is within us. Pay attention to your reactions to things. It will clue you into imprinting, layers that still need healing within you. It's much harder to achieve healing from things of which we're unaware. But whenever our "buttons are pushed" by something said or done or something that happens, that's a clue. If you pay attention, you can decide whether there's a need for healing based on your reactions & the strength of them.